Have it your way ?

a quick survey for everyone out there. . .

1. when dating do you date one person at a time ?

2. what are the pro's of dating multiple people simultaneously ?

3. what are the con's ?

Me, I prefer to date one person at a time but I gotta be feeling her and feel like I'm getting what I need in return.

The pros are guarding against developing real feelings. I mean 3 first dates in one month. If you are into variety.

See answer # 2

ps. Women please try to be honest with this. . .I promise I wont use it against you in a court of law !

Dope Sick Love

I was a feind. Became one at 17. She melted my heart instead of cones of ice cream.
Two kids orientated when our friendship was originated then it was like pieces of puzzles, complicated.

I fell in love at 17. I mean fell. On some stomach flippin. nervous, blissfully happy, jr prom, sr prom, and the whole nine. But I didn't understand the moves I was making. I blame it on my pops and my brother. You can expect a 17 to be conscious of self. I didn't become Conscious1 til 25. So, I recently turned 30. Milestone like a muhfucka. Naw. I don't think it's a milestone. No different than Feb 29th this year. I make my own milestones. But back to the topic.

Recently I been headed back to the lab w/o an ass to grab so then I think about all the pals I had. One after another one. I'd touch another one. Then date another one and ask the last if she was done. I get a cravin' like I feind for nicotine but I don't need a cigarette know what I mean ?

I'm feelin dope sick. Detoxing myself from love. I hardened myself and became a cold calculating brother. I been in withdrawal for a decade now. This rehab has not been working. I've tried everything. Clubbin. Alcohol. Tobacco. Crying. Seclusion. Depression. Working Harder. and the list goes on. But I don't get that feeling. I don't smile when a woman I'm dating calls. I don't look at a chic eyeing me and then think about her. I ain't felt no one like that in years. I mean I might smile if I thought I was going to get some. But that ain't all I'm looking for.

They say when a dope head gets out of detox they usually OD cuz they are chasing the feeling they had when they first got high. Which now requires much more dope. I'm chasing that high. I been using. . .but it ain't been the pure ish.

But wait, I got that Kentucky brown, she's giving me that feeling. I'm hot, she is the spoon, and we finna get high off this love.

Because black men read, too....

...We're proud to bring you the inaugural installment of the BML Book Club. Hell, Oprah did it, why can't we? Not to mention, unlike her show, you're more likely to find a rapper on our couch than a serial fabricator. (Take that, Harpo.)

In all seriousness folks, this is one of the new features we're going to do throughout 2007, where periodically we'll post about a book that one or all of us has read or plans to read. It won't be formulaic, as in, "we recommend this book because it meets x, y, and z, criteria"; instead we'll just choose things that we think you should have in your bookshelf (if you don't own enough books to have a bookshelf, stop reading this, open a new tab to Barnes & noble.com, and hit us back up when you do, you illiterate slug) -- either because they're humorous, or thought-provoking or maybe we just liked the picture on the cover.

So without further delay, selection numero uno comes from friends of the BML family. Authors Natalie Moore and Natalie Hopkinson stopped through Boston and showed y'boy PGS and Skinny G some love on the promo tour for their new book, "Deconstructing Tyrone: A New Look at Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation". I'll be honest: I haven't started reading the book yet because I was forced to put a bow on my copy and stick it under a tree until Christmas Day, but at least I bought one, showed up a the book signing and dragged a photographer from Boston magazine in off the street to give the homegirls some play. Besides, when you get two sistas writing a book that goes beyond the normal bullshit male bashing so common to discussing black males, how can you NOT show love? (Hint: that link above is to the Amazon.com page where you can BUY THE BOOK. Yeah, you. I said "BUY THE BOOK". These girls gotta eat, too.)

Selection number two, for most of you I'm guessing will fall in the category of "Shit I wanted to put in wifey's stocking in place of that Tiffany's bracelet but I didn't have the balls to." Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", was first published in 2004, but from the faces of a lot of married cats I see, they should update and re-issue this puppy annually. I'll let the author's own description of the book speak for itself:

"...Women no longer understand their own ability to create the relationships and family life that they truly desire. Years ago women were taught by their mothers that they needed to be wise and sensitive and "work" their men -- —they knew how to create and maintain a happy and well-functioning relationship using their so called "feminine wiles" in benevolent and mutually satisfying ways. Today, women have replaces these feminine wiles with disdain, hypersensitivity, criticism, bullying and nagging...Dr. Laura explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire."

Happy reading.

Too Much Information...

I rarely side with Wendy Williams on a lot of things.

However, I must give her temporary amnesty for this interview with Carmen Bryan. (NSFW - not safe for work...I really mean it).

Seriously, I mean there are so many manlaws in this interview you could fill up a legal sized piece of paper (front and back).

Let's get to the excerpt that made me shudder in my computer chair.

Wendy to Carmen: So, you've slept with guys who have slept...with LOTS of women. You say that you caught one STD. Which strain of STD was it?

Carmen to Wendy: Chlamydia (with a smile on her face)

Wendy turns to Shawn (her studio sidekick): Is Chlamydia curable?

Shawn turns to Wendy: Yeah it is curable.

Wendy turns to Carmen: I knew he would know.

Shawn continues talking to Wendy while she's talking to Carmen:
I've never had it but I know it is curable.

Wendy to Carmen: So is that the only STD you've ever had?

Carmen to Wendy: Yes.

Wendy to Carmen: When is the last time you've had an HIV test?

Carmen: In 1999.

Wendy to Carmen: You haven't slept with anyone since 1999?

Carmen to Wendy: No. I wouldn't say that.

Wendy to Carmen: Were you having unprotected sex?

Carmen to Wendy: On occasion.

Wendy to everyone in the studio: Everybody is burning. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y is B-U-R-N-I-N-G. New chairs please.

Wendy finishes this comment as she takes out a can of Lysol and starts spraying in Carmen's direction.

Hence the MANLAW: These days, it is important to know YOUR STATUS. However, it is more important that you know the status of a woman especially if you are going out into the rain without a rain coat. You might catch a cold and that cold might not be curable.

This has been a public service announcement from the brothers at BML.

FUBAR

In military parlance, this means "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair". It's what they say when a tank or some other piece of vital equipment gets blown up or otherwise damaged to the point where it cannot be fixed. Key thing to remember here is that there's a difference between something being FUBAR'd and being completely destroyed; in some ways a FUBAR is worse because the damaged equipment is still laying around, a visual symbol of a major fuck-up.

Ok, so what's this got to do with Manlaw? A lot, because, as men, we've all FUBAR'd a relationship (if you haven't, you've never had a relationship, or you're just perfect, in which case you're not really a man. Real talk.) It could be the aftermath of the one mistake you made that you'll never really be forgiven for, or the cumulative effect of you not taking seriously signs that a woman is getting tired of your bullshit -- until it's too late. In other cases it may not have to do with a woman at all -- any relationship or important connection can be FUBAR'd by mistakes big and small.

So, brothers, we here at Manlaw invite you to tell us about your FUBARs -- share your stories of lost love, like or whatever that you had no choice but to sit and watch as it stood, damaged but beyond your ability to fix. No worries, you can remain anonymous and we promise not to make (too much) fun of your idiocy in ruining a good thing.

What's the world come to?

Every once in a while, man bites dog. Or there's a freak snowstorm in August. Or a black man gets pulled over by cops who don't shoot at him 100 million times when he reaches for his driver's license.

But rarely does a man get over in divorce court. So rare it is, in fact, that when it happens, it's newsworthy: CBS Sportsline reports today that the former tennis great Chris Evert has to pay out $7 million to get unhitched from her husband. Yeah, you read it right -- a judge, in Florida of all places, let a man walk into court with divorce papers and walk out with cash. Her cash. Cats must be barking at dogs today. Pigs flying. Nelly speaking on Spelman's campus.....

What's next, huh? How about a spray-on condom?

So during the day I come across weird stories and this one is no different.

I have no manlaw for this. The piece speaks for itself.

Los Angeles Times
Posted November 30 2006, 2:23 PM EST

BERLIN -- German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.

Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, said the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.


"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said. "We're very serious."

Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. He said it would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip.

However, before the new condom can be sold in shops, the firm must ensure that the latex is evenly spread when sprayed, as well as optimise the vulcanization process.

Krause hopes the high tech condom, which will be available in different strengths and colours, will on the market by 2008.

He said the spray can would likely cost some 20 euros ($26) as a one-off purchase. The latex cartridges - sufficient for up to 20 applications - would cost roughly 10 euros, he said.

Krause said he had hit upon the idea when considering the difficulties some people faced using condoms, and drew inspiration from spray-on plasters now used in medicine.

What in the hell....

So yes we have not posted in a while... But today I was fired up so I had to write.
So I went to the lunchroom and my co-workers were at a table discussing things.
So I was told a tale by the female in the group.
She tells me her boyfriend of over a year and half asked for a watch and a suit for Christmas.
She says she will give him the suit but not the watch.
So I say buy that dude his "Cartier".
She says she is not buying the watch because of some old wives tale.
"If you buy a watch, watch him leave you."
I was like what in the hell.
Now full disclosure. My boy had on a watch given by an ex and they broke up.
So then the female goes on by saying, if you get married, all of that goes by the waste side.
I am like is this another way for a woman to get a man to marry them. If that's the case, bump that mess.

MANLAW: When asking for a gift beware of the hidden implications of such a request!

A brief intermission....

Manlaw fam:

We know, we know. Feels like somebody done disappeared us of late. No worries. I can vouch that Marlo, Chris and Snoop don't have us slumped and limed down in a vacant rowhouse.

To the contrary: As hard as we work to be creative and bring you the best of the best when we're writing, we're working harder when we're in the shadows. In other words, don't count us out. We're still around, lurking, plotting, planning, putting the G4 in the hangar and the Maybach 57 in the garage...only so we can ride the 62 out to the tarmac where the G6 is waiting. Mile high club, baby.

So bear with us. We'll be back before you know it, shinin' wit suede muthafuckin Ballys on. In the meantime, relax and enjoy the archive....

Ask Manlaw Part 1

This is the first set of questions sent to brothersmanlaw@yahoo.com. Remember we will not reveal the names of those who submit questions.

Do you feel that a man and a woman can truly be platonic friends despite any lingering attraction?

SPCHRIST response

No. If one party (male or female) thinks the other is attractive...there is always the chance that party will test the curiosity in the future.

SKINNY G response
There will always be a sense of uneasiness when it comes to one party being attracted to a female friend. That party will attempt to gain the attention of the opposite sex by doing things that they would not do with other friends. It can't be a true platonic relationship with those attractive feelings.


Why do you think some women never give "good guys" a chance in favor of the "bad boys"?

SPCHRIST response
If women actually gave "good guys" a chance and stopped chasing "bad boys", they would have absolutely nothing to complain about.

SKINNY G response
I recall when I was a young G in high school and the rep on me was quoted by a female friend about me. "Greg, I could not date you because you are too nice and I would feel bad because I would cheat on you and you would not cheat on me."
I was like what kind of bullcrap is that. So as I got older I also experienced that women are more intreagued by guys who have a sense of excitement. It's usually those guys who live on the edge. But my question is how do you know good guys don't live on the edge too, but it's a different type.
But today I find that as ladies get older they tend to go for less drama after dealing with the wanna be thugs of yesteryear.

Back to the grill again !

You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:

What would you change?


Gooders Girl posed the question. Allow me to answer. I will keep it dating specific as I'm sure you are not interested in a complete life story.

First, I would change the fact that my father never gave me nor my older brother the game. As my role model and the man I trust the most and am closest too, this is who I wanted to help explain the game to me. For this exercise game will be the same as knowledge. Ma Dukes gave me a science book at 11 or 12, every subsequent lesson was self taught or learned through; books, porn, the fuzzy playboy station that we didn't really get, high school peers, experience.

Second, I wish I understood the responsibility of it. Especially emotionally, not only to my self but to the girls involved. My first time was her first time, but for me it was just a conquest because I was tired of being the virgin in the group when the cool guys talked. Her, it was she really liked me. I ended up hurting her because I didn't understand game. She and I are platonic friends now.

I would change my first true love. Well I wouldn't change much. Just the fact that I took it for granted. The fact that I didn't understand that work needed to be done consistently for our love to be maintained. I thought love was self sustaining. It wasn't. She and I were platonic friends before lovers and are platonic friends now after our physical love.

I would change the fact that I took all of my experiences with women and for years used them to exploit their feelings more efficiently. At the same time exploiting my self, my character. I would change the fact that I negatively influenced young men to behave like me and mistreat young women. Hell, occasionally I still catch myself doing it.

I would change. . .now that I think of it. I wouldn't change it for me, because without me walking that path who's to say I would understand the game as I do now. I would change it for a son if God blesses me with one. For a daughter, I would buy a shotgun !

disclaimer: goodersgirl please don't take this post as anymore than me finding your question one that I wished to answer out loud.

WBML-TV

for all of you that subscribe to brothersmanlaw television you may have to adjust the contrast of your set before viewing. . .

I had a couple things on my mind I wanted to share. . .It's been that kind of couple of weeks ! I meant to disagree with some of the things I've read since the last time I posted. I am well aware that this is brothersmanlaw, I am also aware as I hope all of you are that sometimes brothers fight, sometimes they disagree, sometimes they just don't see eye to eye. I was reading phantom zone and I felt like Greg didn't do me justice. And in the interest of contrast and balance, I wanted to present my difference of opinion.

A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;

I can roll with both of these. I always believed the woman usually knows at-a-glance. You might be able to talk your way into some. But 7 times out of 10 you talk yourself out of some. Holla if ya hear me !

C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)

My first problem here is that there are so many more categories(ie; sugar daddies, pimps, . . .but that's a whole nother post.) My direct issue is to say that "friends" = emasculated. I mean damn, I have female friends that I have never slept with for a myriad of reasons including they ain't feelin me like that but should I not be "friends" with them ?
It makes me ask myself, can I be friends with a woman I am attracted to and not try to sleep with her. Shit, I hope so. I have female friends who are married who weren't married or unnatractive when we became friends. I hope to get married. Should I warn my future wife that all these women immediately want to sleep with me, might be interested in sleeping with me or are going to emasculate me.
I love to believe the first one is the most true. . .gimme a minute to think about that. Ahhh yes ! I mean I did look through my phone book last night wanting to get some and saw a bunch of women's names that were just platonic. I wish I had a found a non-platonic relationship, but this wasn't To be true not last night. Too bad I didn't get any numbers off of my reformed pimp routine, I was projected thourgh December. But let me not be digruntled. Greg did drop some gems about men hiding your physical interests. I wholeheartedly agree. Fellas, be slow and sweet if you are slow and sweet. Not if you are a ho and street. And the manlaw produced was "be who you be" is close to my highschool yearbook quote penned 13 years ago.

A true brothersmanlaw passed down to me from my brother when i was 16:
("As long as you're you, I'll be me")

as far as the bad boys getting all the chics. . it's true women love a bad boy but them cats don't last. . .and good women don't want them anyway. . .

now before I go, before the comments begin, let me leave you with this. I ain't writing to get a rise out of you, okay a little. I'm writing cuz I enjoy sharing my thoughts. I ain't baggin blogger broads (broads only used for aliteration, i swear !) . I ain't trying to come off as the sensitive blogger. Besides, most of ya'll don't know me from Adam. I am trying to provide contrast to the blog, the same contrast that i also possess in my thoughts, a different mindset to the party. So please rather than trying to diagnose or expose, attempt to understand. Cuz on the real, "Game always recognizes game" and ya'll see it because I didn't even have to mention no names.

next post is gooders girl inspired from this comment: You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:

What would you change?

STAY TUNED

A new feature

In an attempt to spur more conversation manlaw will embark on a new feature called "Ask Manlaw".

We will answer questions based on your experiences in a blog entry. The brothers of manlaw will attempt to give our expert opinions.

We will not reveal the person's who submits questions.

If you want to ask the brothers any question we will post our responses. Email at brothersmanlaw@hotmail.com.

The Phantom Zone

During life men will meet a number of women. They will encounter women they are attracted to and there are women they will befriend.
We will focus on the combination of the two.
There is the notion that women women say they want the man that they love to be their best friend also.
There are some women who say that may not be the case.
It is my belief that women are full of shit when they say they want their man to also be their best friend.
When a woman meets a man they have three categories to place a man into:

A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;
C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)

But the main reason that many men fall into the "friend" trap is because they act like friends at the outset of the relationship (or very soon after). Because they're shy, nervous around women, scared of rejection, insecure, or just desperate, they hesitantly hang around in the background, fumbling and sweating, hoping women will notice them and get the hint that they're interested.
In other words, they cloak their interest and shy away from openly declaring their sexual intentions. They are not sexually confident men. They don't want to expose themselves to rejection. But the truth is, you can't act like a friend and expect a woman to be attracted to you.
Women are attracted to male strength and masculinity (just as men are attracted to femininity). This is why bad boys (who are sexually confident men) are never friends -- they're always sexual partners.
However, women complain about these same "bad boys" as the men that they don't want
for a mate.
But men who are gentlemanly, accommodating, sincere and warm are the guys who are generally at the bottom of the totem pole.

MANLAW: Fellas be who you be.
I have been told by many women in my past that they didn't appreciate the person that I am because of their perceptions. But I have always been consistent in my approach to life. If you are a stone cold gentlemen be that. If you are like 50 Cent. Be who you be and don't let the ladies change who you are because if you change, you are living a lie for yourself and for your woman.
If you fall into that friend zone, don't fret, in the long run she will regret the label.

Game Time Decisions

Doug Williams, a rising black comedian, once did a sketch on BET’s renowned comedy show ComicView. Williams compared a relationship to a football team, where the head coach is the woman and the quarterback is the man. Each party has a 50 percent interest in the success/or failure of the team.

As any sports reporter, like me, will tell you, the success of a football team always comes down to the relationship of the head coach and the quarterback. The team will not thrive if there is dissension in the ranks between the head coach and any star player, which is usually the quarterback.

Why do I bring this up?

Simple.

In life, I hate liars, cheaters and thieves but somewhere on the second tier of people I despise are head coaches that can’t make a game time decision (a.k.a. also known as the indecisive woman syndrome). A game time decision is a choice that has to be made with the clocking ticking down and the game (in this case the relationship) on the line.

Hence, the MANLAW.

Fellas beware of the head coach that routinely fails at making game-time decisions before the clock runs out. If she can’t make up her mind when it is time you need to run fast, run far and run like Forrest Gump until she’s no longer viewable in the rearview mirror.

I have always measured the character of a head coach based on how that coach handled adversity. Any coach can make a decision when they have a billion options and things are going smoothly, but a true coach that I would play my ass for is a coach that I can trust in the clutch.

What happens when a head coach continually fails with clock management? The quarterback loses confidence in their head coach and starts calling his own audibles at the line of scrimmage. Very soon, the quarterback and the head coach are getting into a highly visible spat on the sideline. The relationship goes down hill from there and soon you have an avalanche in which only ownership can stop with a decision about which party do you keep, the head coach or the quarterback?

As the cliché goes, if you don’t know your history you are doomed to repeat it. In about 80 percent of the cases, ownership sides with the player. Fellas remember this manlaw the next time you have a head coach that is playing not to lose rather than playing to win the game.

Ladies...The Truth Hurts!

So I came across a real thought provoking email from this brother, who will remain nameless.


(written by a brother)
Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch. Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home". Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us Black Males do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a Black Woman takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally. Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black Women have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying.... SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TOA MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODYIF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT. BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that." No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies. "Just take me as I am or have nothing @ all...."

MANLAW: Just tell the truth and be really honest with yourselves. Remember, the blame should first start with you.

"a change gon' come"

I once heard a pimp say "You can't have just one, cuz having one is so close to having none !" I used to really run with that line, I had to be about 23/24. I was really feeling myself. I had what is commonly referred to as a "stable". I was dating 4-5 women regularly. And that don't count the late nights, the one nighters, etc. . .On top of that, I moved with a pack of wolves. We would move in a minimum of 3 maximum of 6. All of us had a slightly different style different look, different demeanor.We appealed to a wide demographic. Lol. But when we were together the hunt was on. We would be in the club, cookout, carnival, bar, what have you. Silent signals, with a look you could call for assistance to distract the hater, come scoop the drunk chic, or the biggest of them all; takingone for the team. You know the group of ladies on the dance floor dancing in a circle that all men are scared of. We could break the circle with ease. By one, barging right in and matching up one to one. Sometimes we create our own closed circle enticing them to enter. We had legendary nights filled with conquests, subplots, and twists that hollywood would love. At this point we been cliquing for 7/8 years. Me, I started at 17. I was working spending money each week pretending I was balling. Bad Boy was in charge from 1am-2am. I would blow most of my check trying to buy a new outfit, droppin cash at the bar, renting cars. And I was going out 2, 3, 4 time a week. Don't let it be a long weekend that we would dub "keep it movin weekend". We was frontin' and stuntin' hard !

Fast forward to current day. These days most of the wolves with the exception of me have wives, children, have been born again, and drive minivans instead of sedans and coupes. The life I used to live, the thoughts I used to have, still affect me. Because what you don't see in the above paragraph, is alcohol abuse. What you don't see is me losing the most special woman in my life. (family not included) What you don't see is the heartache I put her through. And how I repeated the behavior with other women that were close to me. I consistently employed the "never quit 'em" tactic. And meanwhile, I thought I was the man. The day I woke up and realized that I was not a man, because I was living a lie. I pledged that morning not to lie to a woman again. But life goes on. And lessons are learned. So these days, I try hard not to hurt a woman. Karma is a muthafucka. And I done spent a lot of lonely nights in the last 3 years. The women who were special to me, some proposing to me, some helplessly in love, have all sadly but thankfully for their own good, moved on. So where does that leave me. Yearning for love. Learning how to again. Learning how to use charm yet be sincere. How to be mysterious, but still be clear. I'm learning how to be me again.

Here lies my dilemna. The game has changed. The names have changed. And I still have residue from my old ways. So, I operate on only two premises when "dating". The first which I prefer is balls to the wall. All or nothing. I did this a lil less than a year ago, I got a girlfriend, it lasted a month and a week. I mean I don't enjoy the fronting, the posturing, the games, and my ego is way to big to be second string so lets committ to getting to know each other exclusively with the guards down, and if you get to know me and ain't feeling me cool. Unless, I'm functioning on my second mode of operation which is best summed up "we just fucking". Now, I much rather have meaningful short (if need be) relationships and learn and practice loving than just fucking cuz i done spent a decade just fucking.
But I find most women are scared to go all out from jump street. And I can respect that. But it leaves me with plan b or confused about what the hell i'm doing.

So where do I go from here ? Forward !

manlaw: A real man is capable of loving one woman with all his being !

ps. all theories and principals expressed are the sole property of conscious1 and are subject to change without notice. . .

Never Quit 'Em

"Never quit on a woman, Gregory. Make them quit you."

That is the quote I hear everytime I go home and visit my other dad.
My other "dad" was my long time neighbor. I have been knowing he and his family since I was six years old and our relationship is father and son like.

So what does he mean by that?
He means never close ties with a woman you are getting down with, even if you guys break up. If you end your sexual relationship, it is because she said so.

He also means that even if you move on to another woman, make sure you have your other woman on standby in case your relationship with new girl fizzles.

So I asked him supposed the woman is crazy and abusive?

"He maintains never quit on them because you never know."

He also means you can still be cool with a woman and ten years after the last "hit", you can still get some if you never quit on her and the opportunity presents itself.

So today, I make CJS's eddict an official MANLAW:

Never quit on a woman, make them quit you. The only time you quit on a woman is when you are MARRIED, engaged or in a serious relationship. And fellas you can quit on a woman when you are frankly tired of that conquest.

Fight For Your Rights

So it's been mighty quiet on this forum. I know I have been because of other assignments have not allowed me to write in this area. However, I have run into something that the fellas would appreciate and the ladies will say, well good for her.
So the New York Post reported on Sunday that New England Patriots football coach Bill Belichick must answer tough questioning from attorneys in his divorce case against his wife. It starts with the phone records. The gist of the story is that the husband is blaming the Super Bowl coach for breaking up his union with his wife and he is going all out to defend his honor. But before the manlaw is rendered, here is the story.


A judge has thrown New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick for a loss - allowing divorce lawyers to grill the gridiron guru on his alleged relationship with a New Jersey woman, The Post has learned.
Belichick, whose team squares off in the Meadowlands today against the Jets, faces a legal blitz by the woman's angry husband, who accuses the veteran coach of wrecking his marriage.
Morristown Superior Court Judge Thomas Manahan granted a motion by Vincent Shenocca last month to let his lawyers subpoena Belichick in Massachusetts and question him under oath about his involvement with Sharon Shenocca, 41. She met Belichick in the 1980s when she was a receptionist for the New York Giants and he was the team's defensive coordinator.
The judge also issued an order that Belichick could be subpoenaed to produce all bank, credit-card and other financial records over the last five years that show any payments to or for Sharon. Her husband suggests Belichick has secretly financed his estranged wife's "extravagant lifestyle" by giving her cash, paying her bills, compensating her for "services rendered," or funneling money to Sharon's sister and brother-in-law in New York.
Sharon, who is unemployed and has no "visible means of support," her husband claims in court filings, enjoys "membership in an upscale health club, the constant attention of a personal trainer, a vacation in Jamaica, a beach-home rental at the Jersey Shore for the entire summer, purchases of furniture and new clothes, and travel by chartered jet."
Vincent Shenocca, 42, a construction supervisor, also demanded that Sharon provide documents to back up her claim that she has gotten by with money "borrowed from family and friends."
Lawyers for both sides did not return phone calls from The Post. It was unclear whether Belichick's deposition has yet occurred or been scheduled.
Sharon urged the judge to deny her husband's request to question Belichick, calling him a "public figure." But Manahan found "good and sufficient cause exists" for Belichick's deposition.
Belichick is also being asked to hand over any records showing if he paid for any of Sharon's living expenses, vacations, travel, hotel stays, or purchase or rental of any real estate. The subpoena covers any money that Belichick turned over to Sharon's sister, Theresa Radigan, or her husband Ned Massey.
Since the increasingly bitter breakup made headlines in Boston and New York, Sharon has fought back. She filed papers in July accusing Vincent of leaking the case to newspapers to "create scandal and innuendo," and to generate sympathy for his side. Saying the publicity could hurt their two children, ages 5 and 7, she asked Manahan to seal the public records, which he has not done.
Vincent filed for divorce last February, citing "a lack of intimacy for at least a year," and his wife's "constant phone calls" and refusal to stop "accepting large monetary gifts" from another man.
Sharon insisted her friendship with the man was platonic and "never hidden" from her husband. She also said she shared the money she received with Vincent.
Belichick was identified in subsequent court papers as the other man.
Vincent has told The Post he stayed home with the kids while Belichick flew his wife and her sister to the 2004 Super Bowl.
Belichick split up with his wife of 28 years, Debby, in 2004.
Sharon has not responded to requests for comment.


MANLAW: Fellas if your wife decides to leave your ass for another man, be sure you go out like a soldier. Don't punk out. Don't let slide off your back and pay both alimony and child support. It looks like the dude above is setting himself up for such a scenerio.
But...if you knew your woman was balling like that for a very long time, you should at least get some benefit from it if you are not going to for the juggular.

Red Hot Equals

Part One: Short & Sweet (or, an unbelievable lesson from the kitchen) :

I don't want to be asked ANY questions about this, but realer words I've never spoken. Brothers, I know some of us like to cook, and occasionally we try to get fancy with it. That's cool. But if you ever, ever, ever, for any reason, are handling jalapenos or chili peppers while cooking, and afterwards need to scratch or otherwise adjust your testicles...wash your damn hands first. Whatever's in those things that burns the hell out of your tongue, well, let's say that ain't the only thing they'll light up.

Ok, humor at my dumbass expense aside, today's Part Deux deals with questions of equality. Specifically my own personal belief that people have taken the concept of "equality" too far, sometimes to their own, and maybe even society's detriment. Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

In the last couple of weeks, I've had at least two women ask me whether I thought men, for lack of a better word, are less manly these days. One asked as she lamented how many weak brothers she came across on the dating scene; another asked as she pondered where things might have gone wrong with her 20 year old brother, who is becoming more of a no-account by the day. The boy's living rent-free yet refuses to accept basic responsibilities like doing dishes, cleaning up, helping with utility bills or pitching in to help a sick, down-on-her-luck raise. (Slanguistics note: in the 412 area code, "raise" means "mother".)

My answer to their question about men: absolutely. I think my generation is less manly, in many senses of the word, than previous ones. Why?

Because over the last few decades, there has been a tremendous shift in social paradigms between the sexes. Many are for the better: no one could argue that American society is worse off because women have attained a higher level of parity in salary, professional opportunities and overall social status with men, and things will be better when all disparity is eliminated. But what happens when "parity" gets misconstrued as "equality"?

Let me step back and reiterate: there's anything wrong with parity in society, i.e., parity of rights, responsibilities and the ability to get ahead on every level. But I think we need look no further than our civil rights movement to dissect how "equality" can be a concept gone tremendously wrong. When the movement was about parity -- i.e., equal rights and protections -- many black communities provided for their own with businesses, churches, and in some places, their own defense forces (see Forrest Whitaker's "Deacons for Defense"). Still, basic civil rights and protections were necessary for those communities to achieve parity in society and truly thrive.

But "parity" gave way to "equality", civil rights became a struggle for integration and in many respects assimilation. Many of the strongest black institutions died and left were communities that weren't communities at all, "equal" in the eyes of the law, but with no real parity, and remain without economic and social anchors to this day. Again, why (I know I'm getting long winded -- stick with me y'all)?

Because there is no real "equality" in any sense of the word. Equality means "sameness". Blacks and whites are NOT culturally the same in this country, never have been for the most part, and likely won't ever be. That's a good thing, so long as there are protections to ensure parity, which as a concept is akin to civil rights. Same goes for men and women. Should women have parity with men in society? No question in my mind. But are we "equal", as in the same? Absolutely not. I'm not a woman. Don't behave like one. Can't behave like one.

But many people, I think, take "equality" too literally. And when that happens, people who should celebrate their yin and yang as a positive that fosters balance in the context of parity, trying to occupy the same space. Black folks are trying to be white -- going along to get along -- but never making it. Women are taking on the mantra of "independent sistas" -- proclaiming no need of a man and usurping in many instances roles that men are likely better suited for (ladies, please don't bristle at that. I'm sorry, there are just some things that men are better suited to do, even though you CAN do them. The opposite is also true).

So when you have women trying to occupy that same space as men, what's the next logical step: men, as "equals" would begin to occupy the same space that women did. Thus, less manly men. Your thoughts?

Trapped in the Closet

So I was chilling in the airport in New Orleans when I ran across this story in my hometown paper.

Husband shoots man found hiding in bedroom closet
He batters wife; intruder has emergency surgery

From staff reports
After he returned from work to his Uptown home early Monday and found a man hiding in a bedroom closet, Gregory S. Becknel shot the man in the stomach, turned on his wife and hit her several times in the face, New Orleans police said.
Becknel, 39, then called police, who found the man in an upstairs closet suffering from a gunshot wound.
The man, Marvin D. Bell, 40, underwent emergency surgery at Elmwood Trauma Center after the 6 a.m. incident. He was in stable condition Monday afternoon.
Becknel's wife, whose name was not released, suffered a swollen right eye and a swollen, cut lip.
Police transported Becknel, who lives in the 500 block of Soniat Street, to Orleans Parish Prison and booked him with attempted second-degree murder and domestic abuse.
Officers recovered a .40-caliber semi-automatic handgun believed to have been used in the incident, as well as one spent casing.

MANLAW: Brothas, if a woman tells you to run to a closet, yo ass better find the nearest window. Ladies, if you have a man and want to get down with another brother, find a safer environment to get some ass.

In love with a fantasy

We've all dated this chic at some point, and if you haven't, you will. We don't hate her, generally, because usually she means well. Let's say her heart's in the right place, but her priorities, well, they're a different story.

The chic of whom I speak is Miss Misdirected, as in misguided and confused about her priorities. She's the woman who is constantly telling you about what she wants out of her life or relationship, but whose actions say tell a completely different story. This takes many forms, so in the unlikely event you've not yet run into her (which means she's around the corner plotting on you -- RIGHT NOW), allow me to run down some examples of her ill behavior.

Miss Misdirected is the woman you've dated for a while who pledges her undying love for you, for whom all conversations tear down a path toward matrimony: When will it be? Why not sooner? Why not now? Unfortunately for her, when it comes to her outlook on actually doing wifely things -- cooking, keeping the muhfuggin house clean, giving you the Billy Clint relaxation treatment on a regular basis, et cetera -- Miss Misdirected wants to flip the script. Why, she'll ask, would I want to do that for somebody who doesn't know whether he wants to be with me?

How about WHY would any man want to be with a woman who asks such silly questions? This woman would be better off having she and her friends dress up in wedding gowns just to experience her fantasy, and then return to her regular life afterwards.

But let's not wallow in trivial things here: how often she cleans up or gets on her knees does not a woman make. A real sign you're dealing with Miss Misdirected is that she's not yet grasped what real priorities are, and she wants to project her own immaturity onto others, especially YOU. She wants the man, but doesn't believe she's got any work to do on herself to get him. She has a so-so relationship, but believes the only compromising that should be done to make it better should be on his part. She's just fine, thank you. She wants a better career, better life, better whatever -- but just can't see that her own, old, bad habits are holding her back.

But make no mistake, fellas: if you recognize the symptoms of this ailment but don't see them in your own woman, then Miss Misdirected just might be you.

For old times sake

Hey, girl, long time no see
Do you have a little time to spend with me
I wanna know what’s been going onIn your life, huh, talk to me, baby
Your hair, perfume you wear
Brings back memories, oh, of you and me
You look so fine, you blow my mind
All over again, ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...So much has happened in my life
Since we parted
What about you
Now I’ve got myself together
And I know just what I want
And right now,I know that it’s you, you
Rock me tonight for old times sake
Would you baby, hey
Roll with me tonight for old times sake
Ooh...ooh...ooh...oh...oh...
From Freddie Jackson's Rock Me Tonight

This song is the inspiration of the next manlaw, which was inspired by Arizona Cardinals rookie quarterback Matt Leinart. Leinart is in this manlaw because apparently his on again off again girlfriend is expecting to deliver a boy in October. She was a basketball player for USC, where Leinart won the Heisman Trophy two seasons ago. Apparently the girl’s father spread this news, only weeks after Leinart signed a multi-million dollar deal. Now old girl says Matt should focus on this season and we will deal with things after ward. Manlaw states that Leinart read the wrong defense in this situation and if you are getting blitzed from the past, they least you should do is wear some damn Trojans. Damn, you would think since you played for USC for five years that the team nickname (Trojans) would stick to your head. Manlaw 2: If you are going to turn back the hands of time then one must be prepared for ANY consequences of such a move.

To tell the truth or not

Well it's time for me to get back on the horn here. My main man Conscious has been taking a beating, but he is still standing. I am also back on my blog at www.leejournalism.blogspot.com.

But lets get down to business.

It is always interesting when I debate with a good friend who shall remain nameless.
The last debate was on women and weight.
So she asks me: "So Greg, do I look fat?"
"Then she says be careful how you answer"
People know me. I will say what I have to say and have no fear of punishment.
But I said "You look fine, you are always fine" but, you could lose a couple of pounds.
She then gets mad and say you are not supposed to say that to a woman.
See this is what I have a problem with. This is another Burger King situation. You can't have it your way all the time.
What do I mean?
Women always say they want our honest opinion. They don't want to be lied to.
But when it comes to weight, they want you to be PC or come up with a sweet way to say no dear, you look fine.
Or dear, I am going to the gym because I need to work it out and I need you to come with me to provide inspiration.
Why do I have to use some mind game to get yo ass to the gym?
I thought women wanted honesty?
So which is it ladies?

A Letter to the Brothers

Brothers,



Let’s take a second and thank God for making us men. As I move through my day, I see many different people and many different things. While we men are definitely the less attractive of the two sexes, I’m quite okay with that. As a sacrifice we have been able to retain a good grasp on logic except when we are angry or horny. Aside from that we are simple beings. Rather than go on and on about how men are, let me list a few reasons that make me question the logic of women.



1. The menstrual cycle. We all know women are completely incapable of logic during this time. There are 52 weeks in a year, and if you’re lucky a woman is sane for 40 of those. (I know it’s a blessing to give birth ! You go a head and keep that blessing, I’ll get in where I fit in – pun intended)



2. Footwear. Now I know damn well no logical person would walk around on there tippie-toes all damn day on any damn day no matter how good it makes their calves and ass look. Let me not fail to mention shoes that jam all of your toes together or worst of all, shoes where the pinky toe is not even on the sole. What’s up with that ? Did the pinky toe do something wrong ?



3. This one might set you back a lil. Bras. I was riding home on the train and I was noticing the difference between women’s endowments. As I noticed size, shapes, and elasticity, I wondered who came up with the bra ? I looked for the logic behind it. Was it for safety ? comfort ? And as the woman across from me dug at her strap and the strip of sweat that was forming underneath, I knew it wasn’t comfort. Then, if it’s for the look, I saw quite a few men on the same train that could have benefited from a push up (pun intended). What logical purpose does it serve ?



4. Make-Up. I’m a fan of the au-natural. I don’t mind a lil make up, some color on the cheeks. But damn, If I had to put on lipstick (I hate lipstick), lengthen my eyelashes, eye liner, eye brows, foundation, etcetera-etcetera !



Add the fact that I have yet to meet a woman that can hook up a surround sound component system. Or master any complex electrical unit. Don’t let this detract from a woman’s God given beauty, power, and other gifts. But some of the things women do on a daily basis are in the words of Mr. Spock of the planet Vulcan “illogical”.
Now ladies, do what you do, just know why I wonder about your mental stability.



On behalf of the brothers let’s send the women a big K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sistas)
And to the fellas, if there are any other issues regarding logic, please share.

A memo from the bullshitting professionals....

Ladies…leave the bullshitting to the professionals…in this case the male species. Manlaw 3:20

Men are the presidents, CEOs and chairmen of the boards when it comes to BULLSHITTING, Inc. We built this empire and we will surely protect our interests for now and forever more.

Exhibit A:
My boy has been dating his girlfriend on-and-off for 9 years. His girlfriend is yearning for that diamond ring and the house with a two-car garage. They’ve already got kids and he takes care of them well. He’s told me that he’s straight as far as marriage is concerned…so in simple terms as my girls En Vogue once sang she’s “never gonna get it…neva….eva…gonna get it.” The bullshit timer is still ticking and she’s still with him.

Back to the foundation of my thesis: ladies…leave the bullshitting to the professionals…in this case the male species.

Exhibit B:
The reason women shouldn’t bullshit is because their lineage (if you believe the Christian theology) is inherently flawed thanks to the first women name Eve. Ya’ll know the Bible story, God said don’t eat the fruit and of course bullshitting Eve got greedy and f$cked ya’ll up for everlasting generations. Now, many women are born with a defective bullshitting gene in their DNA.

How can I say that?

Well, that has to be the only reason good-natured, fine, got-it-together black women fall prey to bullshitting men all the time. Ya’ll are always willing to take a chance on a brother with rough edges and severe baggage.

You think we are doing that for ya’ll? Hell f$cking no.

Ya’ll also know you’ve got at least one girlfriend (maybe two…if your very unlucky) that burns up your anytime minutes to tell you about her bullshitting man. She tells you the same story. You give her the same advice. The result is always the same. Status quo.

Bullshitting in full effect.

The problem is women don’t understand the fundamental concept behind bullshitting. You can only bullshit with someone that is naïve enough to fall for it. So, in this case ladies you are not givers but genetically predisposed to receive bullshit. It is your choice or not to accept it.

So, what happens when women try to bullshit? More often than not, ladies you play yourselves in the process. You always pick a good man to bullshit and it almost always backfires in your face.

Why?

Men are certified bullshitters and we recognize that you’re a wannabe bullshitter from the jump. We will not tell you this right away…but we’ll let you breathe on your own for a while because we all know at some point ya’ll going to run out of oxygen.

It is at that point we gently remind you to "leave the bullshitting to the professionals...in this case the male species" with the breath that we saved listening to you.

On Some John Kerry Ish !

This is part rant, part question so bear with me. I am going to share with you a few scenarios and then tell you what I think about each. Please know that I apply some form or fashion of brother's man law to each.

1. I had a girlfriend in December and January just passed. Due to differences we both checked out emotionally and quickly broke up. Shortly there after, I being Conscious, saw the err in my ways. I had taken the lazy route, not communicating my emotions and frustrations expecting her to know automatically. I had also lost a woman who I considered a friend and had really grown fond of and enjoyed conversing with. I had also lost a very passionate and beautiful lover. So, while I didn't think I could salvage the relationship, I did want to salvage the friendship. So, I invited her out to dinner. She declined by stating "I don't recycle relationships". So, I said cool. Then I became insulted by the fact that if she couldn't accept a free meal then we really aren't friends. I kept it movin. I see her spot me downtown, she walks over and gives me a hug and some small talk. Now if you can't eat a meal on me then why hug me or chat me up. A week or so later she invites me to lunch. I accept (i'm not a complete assh*le).
But the day of, I call out of work cuz i'm sick. I email her to let her know and she doesn't even respond. Sent another email apologizing, still no response. So here's what it is. If I see her again she needs to keep it movin or expect a severe barrage of verbs, adjectives, and adverbs, with a couple of nouns here and there. Either, she f's with me or she doesn't not both.

2. When I was like 21 I was seeing this 17 year old. Shut Up. It's only 4 years difference. Anyway, I dated her for a few years, treated her badly, not like abuse but definitely not the best of ways. You know she was my young thing and I was in the streets hard. So, she would get late nights, maybe a weekend here or there. But I taught her alot. I was her best friend. I confided in her as she did me. But of course she was coming into her own and she wanted to be in the streets too. So, I told her I knew she wanted to do her thing and I stayed her friend as she dated other guys, other girls, etc. Fast Forward like 4 years and I've grown up some, so has she. I come at her on some real ish. Like why don't you come live with me, be my woman like we used to speak about. Naw, she wanted to get it crunk and move to the ATL. I pleaded. Aiight maybe not pleaded but I tried to convince her to stay but to no avail. She was out. Living the life - clubbin', picked up the slang, the accent, got a lil thicker. . .I tried to stay close through phone and email but she was feeling her self. Started dating an Atlanta Hawk who now plays in Dallas (I was secretly hating on him throughout the finals). Which of course ends their relationship. She visits Boston last summer. I took her to Charlie's on Newbury Street. We had a great time just hanging out and kicking it. No sex. She calls me from the "A" a few months later like "I'm pregnant" -
(It ain't me, I just said no sex.) Now, she has a son. . .the kids father wants nothing to do with either and guess where we are now ? Right, Con gets the phone call and IMs saying "I miss you" "I haven't heard from you" "I want to move back to Boston" "I want you to see my son" "Do you think we could date if I came home" -

(insert sound of needle scratching off of record here)

Are you serious ? I tried to do it right with you. I would have gave this woman my seed. I offered to share my home. You didn't want any of that. Now, faced with the reality that she is not where she wants to be, and has no man, and only now is it beginning to dawn on her that she should have taken a left at Albuquerque. So, I'm supposed to pick up the slack of this bum ass dude ? He ain't even the issue.

3. Last one. . I had to do 3 for the stripes (It's a Boston thing).
Last summer, I met this woman and we hit it off. We became cool and maintained mostly a highly charged physical relationship. Afterwork private cool down sets. Rockets in flight, Sunday afternoon delight. Episodes like that. One catch. She had a man in NY. So on a few occasions she would show regret or remorse and I gave her the option of not messing with me (which I shouldn't have to give her) or to get serious with me. She chose neither. She actually chose to start sleeping with a friend of mine that I introduced her to. Hey, i don't hate the player. I don't even hate the game. I mean if she wasn't sleeping with him. It would just be someone else, I didn't know. Anyway. Eventually, things became too much for her. I empathized. I told her I didn't judge her. She is a grown ass woman. By the way she was going to NY every other week to see her man. But back to the story. One day I get a voicemail with some cat talking greazy on my voicemail from a train station with a girl in the background crying on 3 way. (Please refer to previous post about keeping my name and number out of your boyfriends reach). She later called IMed me, admitted it was her and her man and asked me not to contact her in any way. no phone, no IM, no email, nada. Which is cool, I keeps it movin'.

Friday that just passed. I was out doing flyers outside a club and I see three chics, I walk over and as they turn I see her, she lights up, walks over to me, hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. Then maybe two days ago leaves a comment on my blog about us being kindred spirits and best friends forever and hoping that I find peace and happiness because she has. My first reaction was who does this _____ think she is ? I been peaceful and happy. Don't try to get all holier than I and be preaching down to me. And how is hugging me and kissing me on the cheek, and then writing to me consistent with no contact ?

With all that being said: Am I buggin or are these women ? Are they trying to be cordial ? Cuz, I can deal with people walking by me and not speaking. I am a Bostonian involved in politics, that shit happens everyday.

Brother's manlaw: you might have heard this one before "Either love me or leave me alone"

It ain't what you know but who you know !

Allow me to re-introduce myself. Conscious1 aka Mr. Sixseventeen aka International Man of Mystery. I operate on several planes. But there are someplaces I just don’t like my name to be. For example; don’t say my name to your boyfriend, don’t say my name in court, and keep my name out of the streets. I want to speak about the last one. I used to do my thing. I mean I have been in the Boston nightlife since 17 at Pollyestas. And I find women to be the most beautiful creatures on the earth. I am also fully aware that women are raised to be emotional beings and they like to talk, often about men. So, I learned at a young age that women would tell their friends about you. What you bought them, what you said, what you did, and how long you did it . . .So I became very selective about who I saw and in what capacity. I stayed away from the popular chics that everyone wanted because chances are they spoke to a lot of people which would put more people in my biz. I tended to look towards the chics that played sports, you know ill body but not really popular, maybe two or 3 real friends, not concerned with popularity. Later, it would be the quiet one at the bar tapping her foot, dressed conservative, wanting to dance but no ones asking because her ass ain’t hanging out. I’m at her. See jealousy nad hating ran rampant in the mid to late 90s. Brother’s that can’t dance, or had no game, or weren’t good looking would salt if they saw you too much especially in the company of a young woman that they were interested in. Worse case scenarios: gossip, prank phone calls, ice grills, and maybe violence(very rare, but not unheard of). And I have tests, within my first couple of conversations, I’ll ask about the ex ? I’ll see if she talks about him. Does she dog him out to a stranger ? If she does I take note immediately, and she might find herself a platonic friend. I have to ask myself what If our future split isn’t amicable ? I’ll be the next one to be on blast. I mean I know sometimes a woman can be your greatest commercial bragging to her friends. I have even gotten some action because a woman told her girl about the kid and how I do. But I have my own PR department and I prefer to handle my own promotional campaigns. I would like someone to form an opinion of me based on my actions towards them not necessarily the last woman I dated. And now with the advent of the internet, people can be put on full blast with pictures, stories, video and more. So, fellas be careful and choose wisely before you find yourself out there. Women, be ladies, if you have nothing nice to say. You know the rest

Brother's Man Law: Real men like to move in silence. Let my actions speak for themselves.

Call me Hacksaw

Today's entry has been a point of contention between men and some women since the day some diamond-dealing miscreant convinced women that shiny rocks were symbols of undying love: Does she get to keep the ring if you call off the engagement?

My answer is a resounding "Hell No." Inasmuch as the ring signifies a promise that we'll share something together after we take vows, that promise is conditional on us actually taking those vows. Given that the rule-of-thumb for buying an engagement ring is that the man is supposed to spend three month's salary or something like that (I'd like to go back and find the sap of a romantic that agreed to that shit and bring him out for a public flogging, Manlaw style; have you ANY IDEA what three months of my salary is?), I could really use that cash back in my bank account for some decent purpose.

Beyond that, why the hell would you want to hold onto a symbol of something that will never happen? I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but...

Anywho, consider the following story of a man suing to get his $98,000 promise off some greedy broad's finger. I say screw the court: she don't wanna take it off, take a cutting tool to her and keep the whole finger.

Manlaw: I giveth; I can taketh away. The deal ain't done til the final "I do" is sung. One.

To sign or not to sign

So as I was browsing through AOL this morning, I noticed something that I had forgotten. The one item made me a think about an issue that reminds me of Kayne's Golddigger.
So the item read, Indiana Pacers star guard Stephen Jackson calls off his marriage to his fiance on the day of his wedding. Why?
Because she did not want to sign the prenup agreement.
Then fast forward to Bettles great Paul McCartney files for divorce and did not have a prenup to protect his $1.5 billion fortune.
Manlaw 3:25 states that why should people be entitled to something that was earned before the other person existed.
I believe in love and all of that. But when this much money is at stake and how divorce rates are even higher in these tax brackets, you need to protect yourself.
Paul earned his billion a long time before he even met this chick. But now she can get up to 25 percent of his fortune. Get the fcuk out of here.
Stephen, you represented the foundation of manlaw. Stick to your guns.
You earned our respect and the slate has been cleaned from your brawl in Detroit.

Manlaw Goes Live

With the early success from the Brothers Manlaw, the fellas have decided to hit the streets with their views on life as a brother.
The brothers will be on hand for a session at Skinny's Summer Jam on Saturday evening. So please stop by the crib to check us out.
It will be a lot of fun and there will be a surprise announcement.

Ya gotta pay, if ya gonna play…

I wasn’t fond of him when he played in the NBA.

I dislike him even more once I got word of the latest news, courtesy of the New York Post. If the allegations are true, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson has some explaining to do.

According to the article, he has seven children with three different women and the reports are that he hasn’t paid up for at least five of his seven kids. Oh, did I mention he reportedly spends $41,000 a month on himself? I’ll leave out the fact that he’s made about $60 million in his 14-year NBA career and filed for bankruptcy last year for another argument on another day.

Now, I don’t know if these women have taken the necessary legal action against Mr. Anderson (if they haven’t I have no idea what they are waiting for) because leaking this type of information will only get them sympathy and not the paper that they need to take care of HIS kids.

I’m only going to say this once…Ya gotta pay, if ya gonna play (at least when kids are involved)…Manlaw 3:19

Mr. Anderson only has half the equation solved. He is reportedly playing basketball in Lithuania and is making somewhere between $750,000 and $1 million per year. I’ll give him a standing ovation for finding employment when the NBA basically said he was washed up. But, I can’t condone not filtering some of that cash to the kids he helped create.

The case of the wedding ring....

So on a recent night I went to a little birthday gathering where I was playing some spades (might I add that the first hand I had was trump tight and we ran a quick 10, then got eight on the next hand. But things went down after that).
But during the course of my playing the game, a separate conversation got my attention.
It was on the topic of women wearing the scare away ring on the left, marriage finger.
Apparantly a sister was wearing a silver ring on the marriage finger.
A fellow brother was wondering if she was married. Hell I looked at her and thought she was married too. But upon closer look at the ring, I knew it was a scare tactic.
One of the first things fellas notice about a woman besides her fine ass body and Gabrielle Union looks is to look to see if she is taken.
So we take our eyes to the left hand side to see if there is a nice little rock on her finger. If not, she is fair game. (But some fellas if the rock is there, it still does not stop them).
But this night the conversation took a spirtual turn. Being that I am a son of a minister, I found one arguement rather interesting.
The comment agreed by a couple of females was that if a man is destined for a woman, a scare away ring would not keep the man from that woman because he would hear from God to step to her.
From the man's point of view, supposed the dude is a newly created believer in God, but sees that ring and is discouraged. A lot of babes in Christ does not know how to hear the voice of God real well. His first instinct is to see the ring and show no disrespect.
As one dude said aptly, the ring is a symbol that God put together to show a Godly union. So why would a guy think that God would want him to disrespct the symbol.

Manlaw: Women, ditch the fake ring because you could be potentially lose a good guy that is possibly destined for you. His respect of the symbol is the type of man you think you want. Yes, we know some ladies wear it because they will meet more asses than not. But is it worth it to get through a lot of asses to get to the one you should be with?
Personally I hate the fake ring because you can begin an encounter with a dude with a lie.

...and back to our regularly scheduled program

I walk into the office of a female friend the other day and she's on the phone. When I appear, she tells whoever to hold on and informs me she's talking to her ex (why this info. was important, I don't know but I guess she felt I needed it). So I offered to leave so she can handle her b.i., to which she responds "Oh, are you jealous?"

No.

I'm not a jealous cat, and she's not my girl. But upon hearing me say that I wasn't jealous, she gets vexed and tells me to leave her office. Why? Because, gentlemen, women have egos. Big ones that rival if not surpass our own. Thus telling a woman after an obvious pine for a compliment or affection that you're indifferent is akin to invoking her wrath.

This, however, can work to your advantage: knowing the right balance of indulging and depriving a woman's ego is a powerful tool. Just don't overdo it; unlike women, we're pretty transparent when we try to be manipulative, and if they see through you, you'll suffer.

Manlaw: You're not the only one with an ego that needs stroking.

Bonus manlaw note: I walked into a bookstore recently and came across a book I thought I'd hate, because I'd heard said book was pretty bad. I read a few pages for myself and got intrigued, and wouldn't you know I'm all into it now. The lesson here is never judge a book by what other people tell you about its cover...

A Pause for the cause...

Ok, so when I'm not on here pontificating about manhood and its relationship to womanhood, I'm a business reporter in my day job and freelancer by night. One of the reasons I got into that business was because I thought use of the media was one of the best ways to disseminate info. to and about black folks -- good, bad and otherwise.

As I was building my career, I met a guy by the name of Nate Chapman, who was the first black man to run an investment banking company and grow it into a publicly-traded firm. (He'd later be convicted of fraud and is now doing time in prison). Transgressions aside, though, during an all-day mentoring session in his office the year I got out of college, Nate told me something that I've remembered to this day and that I think will resonate loud and clear for years: "The civil rights struggle of the 21st century is economic. He was right on so many levels -- with all of the legal and social progress made by black people over the last four decades, we still lag in areas like homeownership, personal and family wealth, business ownership and the political clout that comes along with all those things.

So to that end, I've created another blog that I hope you'll check out, called Blackpeoplesmoney. I hope it becomes a forum for the black and upwardly mobile that our generation represents to talk about our climb on a personal and community level to achieve economic parity. Check it out often, post, send me ideas and tell your friends about it.

Manlaw: you're not a man if you can't feed and clothe your peoples.

Jedi Mind Tricks

So in a past relationship I was accused of using a Star Wars tactic on her during our relationship.
I will call this chick Jersey Girl.
So what's her defitintion of Jedi Mind Tricks:
When men play with a woman’s mind and emotions. She says men are the masters of jedi mind tricks.
She said the signs that your man is playing a jedi mind trick are as follows:
He says she’s just a friend but every time that friend comes around you she is giving you dirty looks; He makes promises he never keeps but promises to anyone else he always follows through; He’ll say it’s all in your mind or you are misinterpreting a sitution when a conflict arises; He’ll say he is sorry and won’t do it again…only to turn around and do whatever he said he wasn’t going to do again; He’ll be the master of white lies and half truths. He’ll tell you he went out only he won’t tell you he went out with his ex-girlfriend.
For example, I would tell her, “My natural dispostion is always to be happy.”
Her Translation: it’s easy to lie to your face and smile at the same time.
My Translation: Unless given a specific question, I will only answer what was asked.
Now in some instances when I did not answer I direct question, rather I would re-direct her inquiry with another conversation or just move on all together. Another aspect of Jedi Mind Tricks.

Manlaw states there are no half-truths or half-lies. Manlaw states if you want a specific answer, then ask a specific question. Or better, yet, if you feel you are a victim of this sourcery, then leave the situation.
There are no tricks to that. Though, according to Jersey Chick. I was one hell of a Sith Lord. But I would just say I am Luke Skywalker using the force.

From Boyz to Men

We are the men of Brothers Manlaw.

PGS = Keith Reed is below as a 23 day old baby to young Pittsburgh Pirate fan to grown ass pimp.








Skinny G = Gregory Lee

Look at Skinny as a baby, then getting that paper from kindergarten, then from high school and today as the man.







Well we only have a picture of SPChrist as a man. We think he was thrown off the bed at a real early age.

My name ain't Swammi

Every man has found himself in this position: Something's wrong with your woman, mother, sister, et al. Knowing her as well as you do, you sense this. The feeling, the tension, walks in the room before she does, and once she gets there, the air is thick as soup.

Then, the deadly, piercing silence of a woman's unspoken emotions. Struggling, you make small talk, looking for context clues. She responds with monosyllabic answers that provide you no indication. Is she angry, tepid, seething, frustrated, sad? Is it work, you, something she saw on TV, her friend on the way for his monthly visit? Having no clue, and knowing only that doing nothing, anything at all, ensures you a bigger problem than the one you've got at that moment, you conjure up the stones to ask the one question that's obvious to every man at this juncture:

"What's wrong?"

And in that instant, you lose all control of the situation -- as if you had it to begin with.

The problem, brothas, is that you're just NOT a mind reader. As a general rule, men are more pragmatic in thinking and action, which conversely means we're pretty emotionally stupid. That's why it's called "women's intuition", and not "men's"; a woman's intuition will give her a pretty damn good idea not only when something's wrong, but what that wrong is and how to fix it, even when you may not completely be able to articulate it. I've experienced this numerous times, having expressed frustration, anger or rage to no end, only to have my significant at the time look calmly at me and say something like "you need to go to sleep; go lay down and I'll be in there in a second." Much as I fought, it was just that simple: lay my cranky ass down and problem solved.

But do NOT be fooled by this, guys. You are simply not equipped to soothe so simply as is the fairer sex. This does not mean that you can't solve whatever your woman's problem is at the time, in fact, many of these situations arise because she wants YOU to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to make her feel better. The problem is you don't know what.

So in the interest of happier homes everywhere, I suggest the following: Guys, tell your woman, up front, kindly, that you may indeed possess the wizardry to make her feel better somehow. But you're not a genie who's gonna fly out of his lamp unless said lamp is rubbed, which is to say that ladies, knowing how emotionally stupid we males are, you're going to need to step up and speak up if you want us to help you out with emotions we simply don't have the aptitude to understand.

MANLAW: You're an emotional nincompoop. Embrace it, communicate it, and if you've got a good woman, you'll be rewarded.

When a Man Is Being A Man

So today I was reading the New York Times and ran across an interesting story about middle age men who refuse to go back to work after being released from high paying jobs.
So there was one section about this cat named Alan, who is 53 and made this statement, "I have come to realize that my free time is a lot to me."
So instead of working he continues to draw money from the equity in his house and from the family savings. Then he continues by saying "If things really get tight, I might have to take a low wage job, but I don't want to do that."
Meanwhile all his wife, who is receiving a disability check, stands back and supports her man's decision not to work.
This is apparently a growing trend for men around the nation because these men feel like they should still be getting the top dollars they were getting in their previous gigs.
Manlaw is a bit perplexed about this situation.
Manlaw suggests that if a man makes a decision and means what he says, then you have to live with it and apparently his wife has and chosen not leave the relationship.
But Manlaw does not believe in just sitting on your ass either.
However, Manlaw can say this, a man's home is his castle.
Therefore it is ok for them to chill at home with no job, but it does not mean it is right if you are supporting a family.

Even when you do all things correctly

You're the kind of woman
That needs a man that's always there
It's not that you require a lot
Just need some tender love and care
I give good love
I'll buy your clothes
I'll cook your dinner too
Soon as I get home from work
I'll pay your rent
Your faithful lover
Soon as I get home, soon as I get home from work
Girl, I'll treat you right
And I'll never lie


Remember when Babyface penned the song "Soon as I Get Home From Work".
It was the song ladies cheered and the brothers were like damn another dude filling these women's heads up with some unrealistic bullshit.
Well Manlaw will give a little glimpse on how some mature brothers actually attempted to be like the 'Face.
Let's take Brother X, a 28-year old, stock market analyst from Jackson, Mississippi.
Today he works in NYC where he is doing his thing as a rising star in the industry.
He is known within the industry circles. He is known to be a friendly, but sociable person who loves to have a good time.
In his private time, he retreats to things that people don't have any clue that is going on. He likes to have that air of mystery about him.
His dating life has been up and down. Probably because of his hectic career and partly due to loyalty to his friends. This dude realized the error of his ways in previous relationships. However, he looks inward and made a determination to do everything by the book when it came to his next woman.
He wanted to do the Babyface thing.
Low and behold there was this one young lady that he knew and had a good friendship where at times they flirted with each other on occasion. One obstacle though - it was the dreaded LDL - long distance relationship.
So one day the dude just asks if she would interesting in dating and she said of course and he set about doing the things necessary to build a relationship.
He was doing all the things a dude should do in being with this woman: taking her out to dinners; getting her surprise gifts; sending flowers just because; writing cute snail letters to her (that's some old school stuff there). He would plan the trips to see each other on weekends.
He was also supportive of all of her efforts in her life and actually paid attention to detail when it came to things in her life. He thought he was doing all the right things to keep the train rolling.
But then things started to get a little hairy. She started to become to take things for granted. She started to withdraw a bit. But keeps the line still close to the dude.
Brother X notices this trend, but maintains the course for one final stand with the young lady. The young lady would be cool sometimes and sometimes withdrawn. But like near the end of every trip she acts like you are the love her life.
Then Brother X feels great and goes about his business feeling happy and thinking things maybe fine.
But then later the next week Brother X goes to his inbox and finds a note from his girl that basically said she wanted to stop dating so she can focus on her re-establishing her career and wanted make decisions independent of a relationship but she also said he was her best friend.
So Brother X replied well he was always supportive of her life but questioned how you can still be best friends with someone you basically dumped on email. Best friends don't do that.
So Brother X says he will move on after on final discussion to get his closure and move the hell on.
So Brother asked what the real deal was.
She replied in several different ways and Brother X can see through all the crap.
She first explained the lives of the two parties were different. That he was too flashy for her. Next she said that his spiritual walk was not the same as hers.
(no Brother X is not a regular church goer, but has relationship with God).
Then she says she knew that she felt like this in the beginning but thought it would go away.
So then Brother X basically replied and said that he felt insulted by those remarks because it made it seem he like was a bad guy and that's far from the truth. So in his mind he was like he does not want to hear about how women want good men.
Then she replied by saying don't make yourself out to be the victim. She then mentions the Brother's X from years back and said you had a choice and you got rid of a good woman.
The Brother was heated and said she had nothing to do with the conversation and that was uncalled for.
She then retreated. She got off the phone.
But later in the day she calls Brother back. She then says the reason she pulled back is because she continues to be indecisive about what she is going to do with her life. The other stuff she said was uncalled for.
So she now thinks every thing is fine.
But the reality for the Brother is all is not well, but the Brother intends to move on because he knew he deserved a better fate.

The Manlaw rule from this situation.
Learn to be a little more like Bobby B and be a little less of Ralph T.
That way you can protect yourself from being duped like Brother X. Let the lady really earn her rent check from Babyface.

Up In Da Club...

Ladies you must understand that when we say we are “going out with the boys” we don’t expect you to turn into the local district attorney. Just give us a passionate kiss as a reminder of what we are coming home to and leave it at that….Manlaw 3:16

Ladies you must also understand that when we are out with the boys situations can occur….Manlaw 3:17

For example, NBA players Jason Caffrey, Gary Payton and Sam Cassell (then-playing for the Milwaukee Bucks) got into an altercation in 2003 outside a Toronto strip club.

Recently, the situation went to court and Sam Cassell took the stand (hmm…there’s that second rule of engagement again).

The details are very sketchy (depending on who you believe) but one thing is absolutely clear. Payton’s wife, Monique, is the chillest black woman and spouse in the United States.

Why?

Ladies please memorize her comments about her husband's predicament in a 2003 Seattle Post-Intelligencer column by Susan Paynter.

“I don't care about that stuff," Monique said. "Guys are guys. They'll go to those places. And sometimes athletes can be targets for trouble. Other (NBA) wives ask their husbands, 'How could you go to that place? How could you do that?' But I say, 'Hey, I'll go with you if you want.' If not, at least I know where he is. All I tell him is to come home safe."

Ladies…I hope you were taking notes because brothers don’t like to repeat themselves…Manlaw 3:18

-spc

She ain't trippin on you...

...she'd rather fuck your car.

So goes the hook on a rhyme from one of my old school favorites, Too Short. Dude ain't lyrically brilliant, but he kept it real. And as I found out the other day, he may never have kept it realer (yea, I got a degree in English and I said "realer") than on the aforementioned song.

Short puts it down in this one right here, explaining in his Oakland, Ca., vernacular his understanding of the fact that with some women, no matter how genuinely attracted to you they might appear to be, said attraction ain't always what it seems. Yeah, she's feelin you, givin vibes, flirting, lettin you know you can get the math if not more, if only you'll speak up (manlaw note: closed mouths don't get fed). But with our egos, we men rarely stop to consider that it may not be us, in whole or in part, that she's attracted to. She might have caught you on a good day, rockin that suit that hangs off your shoulders just right, fresh from the chop shop with a new shapeup, or caught your glance from the window of that rented 300C you borrowed from your cousin and just came from getting detailed.

You got that look, that flirt, that number. Kudos. But she ain't trippin on you, she'd rather fuck your car.

Fast forward: I'm chillin with a homegirl of mine, talking about the Manlaw blog, which prompts her to break tradition and let me in on a lil rule of womanlaw, at least as she sees it. She dishes that an unwritten rule of hers is that she never, ever talks to a dude whose eye she catches if the dude is getting into our out of, say, the new AMG-kitted S-Class. Sounds counterintuitive -- women like dudes with nice whips -- until you consider her next sentiment, which was that from that moment on, she never knows whether or not it was the guy or the fact that the guy had the car that turned her on in that instant. That she wouldn't want to find herself sitting across from the dinner table with a dude wondering whether if she'd be there had the cat hopped off the Orange line instead of into sum'n that cost more than a downpayment on a nice crib.

She wouldn't want to wind up in the act with this dude and have to wonder: am i screwing him or his car? Get it?

Long story short, fellas: I ain't sayin' look a gift horse in the mouth. If you ridin' nice and that increases your shooting percentage from the floor, I'm all in favor. But with all things in life, ego can blind you to the angles you need to be able to see in order to know how to play your position right. Perhipheral vision is a proverbial muhfucca.

Manlaw: "No need to be a player or a superstar... She ain't trippin on you she'd rather fuck your car."

-PGS

"Divas" and the Rules of Engagement...

Opening remarks…
Ladies, you should not expect a man you JUST met to take you to a 5-star restaurant and wine and dine you... The purpose of dating is to get to KNOW the individual man and NOT his money or personal possessions or what can a man do for you... Money can often times be a front and many women have gotten confused because they see a shiny car and what appears to be a 'fat wallet'... Don't be fooled, surely you are worth more than a free meal... If you are that hungry, take yourself out!

The case…
If you are a true diva, you were not offended by what I just said because a true diva doesn’t sweat the materialistic things in life. How do you become a diva? Ladies, you must earn that status and a man will let you know when you’ve reached that status.

For the sake of argument, let’s divide the men into the marriage-minded (there aren’t too many of them around) and those that want to play house.

I’m a marriage-minded man and to reach Diva status with me you must win my heart. You’ll know that you’ve reach Diva status with me when you hear the phrase “will you marry me” followed by the sight of a diamond ring. Until then, you are in training and you must earn your stripes.

Now for the man that wants to play house, I was once one of them, ladies you must follow the rules of engagement and fully understand that men do not tie their decisions in with emotions. Also, if you are playing this version of the game…you must understand that a man will determine when you will be promoted to the marriage-minded version. Unfortunately, women often tie their emotions in with decisions and that’s how ya’ll get hurt and cry foul. We’ll provide you with the tissues and then remind you of the basic rules of engagement. Your girlfriends can take it from there.

Now, the first rule of engagement is you can’t demand from us what you can’t do for yourself. It is 2006, so before your bus-pass-carrying, no-job-having, still-being-supported-by parents self, starts mouthing off make sure you can handle the situation by your self. Once men reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit, we often don’t come back.

The second rule of engagement is you can’t truly make a man do something he doesn’t want to do. The police, the IRS and the U.S. Court System are the only entities that can make a man do something he doesn’t want to do. So, ladies do your homework before you get involved with a man in a playing-house-situation and don’t play yourself in the process.

In conclusion…
There are more rules…to the list but I can’t remember them all off the top of my head. If I do find the e-mail I once sent to a female that cried foul, I’ll update this entry. Henceforth, I’m sure conversations from this entry will jog my memory.

-spc