You're the kind of woman
That needs a man that's always there
It's not that you require a lot
Just need some tender love and care
I give good love
I'll buy your clothes
I'll cook your dinner too
Soon as I get home from work
I'll pay your rent
Your faithful lover
Soon as I get home, soon as I get home from work
Girl, I'll treat you right
And I'll never lie
Remember when Babyface penned the song "Soon as I Get Home From Work".
It was the song ladies cheered and the brothers were like damn another dude filling these women's heads up with some unrealistic bullshit.
Well Manlaw will give a little glimpse on how some mature brothers actually attempted to be like the 'Face.
Let's take Brother X, a 28-year old, stock market analyst from Jackson, Mississippi.
Today he works in NYC where he is doing his thing as a rising star in the industry.
He is known within the industry circles. He is known to be a friendly, but sociable person who loves to have a good time.
In his private time, he retreats to things that people don't have any clue that is going on. He likes to have that air of mystery about him.
His dating life has been up and down. Probably because of his hectic career and partly due to loyalty to his friends. This dude realized the error of his ways in previous relationships. However, he looks inward and made a determination to do everything by the book when it came to his next woman.
He wanted to do the Babyface thing.
Low and behold there was this one young lady that he knew and had a good friendship where at times they flirted with each other on occasion. One obstacle though - it was the dreaded LDL - long distance relationship.
So one day the dude just asks if she would interesting in dating and she said of course and he set about doing the things necessary to build a relationship.
He was doing all the things a dude should do in being with this woman: taking her out to dinners; getting her surprise gifts; sending flowers just because; writing cute snail letters to her (that's some old school stuff there). He would plan the trips to see each other on weekends.
He was also supportive of all of her efforts in her life and actually paid attention to detail when it came to things in her life. He thought he was doing all the right things to keep the train rolling.
But then things started to get a little hairy. She started to become to take things for granted. She started to withdraw a bit. But keeps the line still close to the dude.
Brother X notices this trend, but maintains the course for one final stand with the young lady. The young lady would be cool sometimes and sometimes withdrawn. But like near the end of every trip she acts like you are the love her life.
Then Brother X feels great and goes about his business feeling happy and thinking things maybe fine.
But then later the next week Brother X goes to his inbox and finds a note from his girl that basically said she wanted to stop dating so she can focus on her re-establishing her career and wanted make decisions independent of a relationship but she also said he was her best friend.
So Brother X replied well he was always supportive of her life but questioned how you can still be best friends with someone you basically dumped on email. Best friends don't do that.
So Brother X says he will move on after on final discussion to get his closure and move the hell on.
So Brother asked what the real deal was.
She replied in several different ways and Brother X can see through all the crap.
She first explained the lives of the two parties were different. That he was too flashy for her. Next she said that his spiritual walk was not the same as hers.
(no Brother X is not a regular church goer, but has relationship with God).
Then she says she knew that she felt like this in the beginning but thought it would go away.
So then Brother X basically replied and said that he felt insulted by those remarks because it made it seem he like was a bad guy and that's far from the truth. So in his mind he was like he does not want to hear about how women want good men.
Then she replied by saying don't make yourself out to be the victim. She then mentions the Brother's X from years back and said you had a choice and you got rid of a good woman.
The Brother was heated and said she had nothing to do with the conversation and that was uncalled for.
She then retreated. She got off the phone.
But later in the day she calls Brother back. She then says the reason she pulled back is because she continues to be indecisive about what she is going to do with her life. The other stuff she said was uncalled for.
So she now thinks every thing is fine.
But the reality for the Brother is all is not well, but the Brother intends to move on because he knew he deserved a better fate.
The Manlaw rule from this situation.
Learn to be a little more like Bobby B and be a little less of Ralph T.
That way you can protect yourself from being duped like Brother X. Let the lady really earn her rent check from Babyface.
10 comments:
This sounds all too famil...
Things that make you say, hmmmmm?!
I hope Sil... I mean, "Brother X" doesn't allow this one bad apple to spoil the bunch.
It saddens me when people change the way they deal with others because of the mistakes that one person made. Yeah, it hurts, yeah it sucks, but using that as a reason to put your wall up in the future benefits no one.
Now I'm not saying don't be cautious. But everyone has faced some sort of disappointment after putting forth their best effort. So don't assume that there is no one out there that can appreciate a Babyface-type brotha.
Babyface moments should be reserved for your fiance or wife.
Be like Bobby B and a little of Ralph T until she earns it you are getting some real guarentees.
amen, skinny g!
you made a classic relationship mistake: you gave someone the goods before they ever earned it.
instead of paying attention to whether this young lady was worth it, you decided to jump all in, change of the game, without really looking to see what you were jumping into.
nahimean?
relationships aren't science projects. just because you do the "right things" doesn't mean it will come out right. it's trial and error. and like duck says, you can't hold this against all women. cuz certainly, you all don't want us to hold shit against all men.
my theory always has been that if you really find a good woman/man at the right time in your life, you ain't got to think about doing the babyface shit. you'll just do it automatically without second thought.
and remember one thing: e'eery body ain't got to like you. some people, you can give them flowers every day, notes, chocolate, what have you...and they still ain't feeling you. sometimes, the shit is just chemistry.
bottom-line, playa: you tried to hard.
how about this for a better manlaw:
you be you and not an r & b singer.
The only thing that she said was right was that you got rid of a good woman when you had one...and for what...lol. So what she said was right but when she said it was wrong. Truth hurts...Just shaking my head.
I don't emphaise on that level I am afraid. "Pay back is a bitch Mofo believe me". We all take one for the team from time to time.
I have got more dirt than I dished out...but I did dish some dirt as did you.
It ain't the woman or man it's YOU. Men always pursue what they can't have and never want the chick that is there and willing.
Well most of the time... People get the treatment they want in relationships for whatever twisted reason...I think I'll stop there.
As someone who has been dumped via IM and then e-mail (and not even from the ex-girlfriend herself...the new man on the block informed me)...I SINCERELY know how Brother X feels.
I agree with Duck and J. I don't recall how long you said Brother X and said girl were together, but it wasn't long enough. She didn't earn that type of treatment. He doesn't need to show that type of stuff, at least not all of it, all the time, in the beginning. Get to know someone, figure out if they really are worth it. And it doesn't necessarily have to be your wife or fiance only, but it definitely has to be someone you know for sure is wife potential.
But yeah, whoever bruhman is, don't let this one immature chick make you turn bad. There will be someone that can appreciate and reciprocate your love, affection and adoration.
Maybe she just changed her mind...
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