Thursday, December 28, 2006

Have it your way ?

a quick survey for everyone out there. . .

1. when dating do you date one person at a time ?

2. what are the pro's of dating multiple people simultaneously ?

3. what are the con's ?

Me, I prefer to date one person at a time but I gotta be feeling her and feel like I'm getting what I need in return.

The pros are guarding against developing real feelings. I mean 3 first dates in one month. If you are into variety.

See answer # 2

ps. Women please try to be honest with this. . .I promise I wont use it against you in a court of law !

Dope Sick Love

I was a feind. Became one at 17. She melted my heart instead of cones of ice cream.
Two kids orientated when our friendship was originated then it was like pieces of puzzles, complicated.

I fell in love at 17. I mean fell. On some stomach flippin. nervous, blissfully happy, jr prom, sr prom, and the whole nine. But I didn't understand the moves I was making. I blame it on my pops and my brother. You can expect a 17 to be conscious of self. I didn't become Conscious1 til 25. So, I recently turned 30. Milestone like a muhfucka. Naw. I don't think it's a milestone. No different than Feb 29th this year. I make my own milestones. But back to the topic.

Recently I been headed back to the lab w/o an ass to grab so then I think about all the pals I had. One after another one. I'd touch another one. Then date another one and ask the last if she was done. I get a cravin' like I feind for nicotine but I don't need a cigarette know what I mean ?

I'm feelin dope sick. Detoxing myself from love. I hardened myself and became a cold calculating brother. I been in withdrawal for a decade now. This rehab has not been working. I've tried everything. Clubbin. Alcohol. Tobacco. Crying. Seclusion. Depression. Working Harder. and the list goes on. But I don't get that feeling. I don't smile when a woman I'm dating calls. I don't look at a chic eyeing me and then think about her. I ain't felt no one like that in years. I mean I might smile if I thought I was going to get some. But that ain't all I'm looking for.

They say when a dope head gets out of detox they usually OD cuz they are chasing the feeling they had when they first got high. Which now requires much more dope. I'm chasing that high. I been using. . .but it ain't been the pure ish.

But wait, I got that Kentucky brown, she's giving me that feeling. I'm hot, she is the spoon, and we finna get high off this love.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Because black men read, too....

...We're proud to bring you the inaugural installment of the BML Book Club. Hell, Oprah did it, why can't we? Not to mention, unlike her show, you're more likely to find a rapper on our couch than a serial fabricator. (Take that, Harpo.)

In all seriousness folks, this is one of the new features we're going to do throughout 2007, where periodically we'll post about a book that one or all of us has read or plans to read. It won't be formulaic, as in, "we recommend this book because it meets x, y, and z, criteria"; instead we'll just choose things that we think you should have in your bookshelf (if you don't own enough books to have a bookshelf, stop reading this, open a new tab to Barnes & noble.com, and hit us back up when you do, you illiterate slug) -- either because they're humorous, or thought-provoking or maybe we just liked the picture on the cover.

So without further delay, selection numero uno comes from friends of the BML family. Authors Natalie Moore and Natalie Hopkinson stopped through Boston and showed y'boy PGS and Skinny G some love on the promo tour for their new book, "Deconstructing Tyrone: A New Look at Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation". I'll be honest: I haven't started reading the book yet because I was forced to put a bow on my copy and stick it under a tree until Christmas Day, but at least I bought one, showed up a the book signing and dragged a photographer from Boston magazine in off the street to give the homegirls some play. Besides, when you get two sistas writing a book that goes beyond the normal bullshit male bashing so common to discussing black males, how can you NOT show love? (Hint: that link above is to the Amazon.com page where you can BUY THE BOOK. Yeah, you. I said "BUY THE BOOK". These girls gotta eat, too.)

Selection number two, for most of you I'm guessing will fall in the category of "Shit I wanted to put in wifey's stocking in place of that Tiffany's bracelet but I didn't have the balls to." Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", was first published in 2004, but from the faces of a lot of married cats I see, they should update and re-issue this puppy annually. I'll let the author's own description of the book speak for itself:

"...Women no longer understand their own ability to create the relationships and family life that they truly desire. Years ago women were taught by their mothers that they needed to be wise and sensitive and "work" their men -- —they knew how to create and maintain a happy and well-functioning relationship using their so called "feminine wiles" in benevolent and mutually satisfying ways. Today, women have replaces these feminine wiles with disdain, hypersensitivity, criticism, bullying and nagging...Dr. Laura explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire."

Happy reading.


Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Too Much Information...

I rarely side with Wendy Williams on a lot of things.

However, I must give her temporary amnesty for this interview with Carmen Bryan. (NSFW - not safe for work...I really mean it).

Seriously, I mean there are so many manlaws in this interview you could fill up a legal sized piece of paper (front and back).

Let's get to the excerpt that made me shudder in my computer chair.

Wendy to Carmen: So, you've slept with guys who have slept...with LOTS of women. You say that you caught one STD. Which strain of STD was it?

Carmen to Wendy: Chlamydia (with a smile on her face)

Wendy turns to Shawn (her studio sidekick): Is Chlamydia curable?

Shawn turns to Wendy: Yeah it is curable.

Wendy turns to Carmen: I knew he would know.

Shawn continues talking to Wendy while she's talking to Carmen:
I've never had it but I know it is curable.

Wendy to Carmen: So is that the only STD you've ever had?

Carmen to Wendy: Yes.

Wendy to Carmen: When is the last time you've had an HIV test?

Carmen: In 1999.

Wendy to Carmen: You haven't slept with anyone since 1999?

Carmen to Wendy: No. I wouldn't say that.

Wendy to Carmen: Were you having unprotected sex?

Carmen to Wendy: On occasion.

Wendy to everyone in the studio: Everybody is burning. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y is B-U-R-N-I-N-G. New chairs please.

Wendy finishes this comment as she takes out a can of Lysol and starts spraying in Carmen's direction.

Hence the MANLAW: These days, it is important to know YOUR STATUS. However, it is more important that you know the status of a woman especially if you are going out into the rain without a rain coat. You might catch a cold and that cold might not be curable.

This has been a public service announcement from the brothers at BML.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

FUBAR

In military parlance, this means "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair". It's what they say when a tank or some other piece of vital equipment gets blown up or otherwise damaged to the point where it cannot be fixed. Key thing to remember here is that there's a difference between something being FUBAR'd and being completely destroyed; in some ways a FUBAR is worse because the damaged equipment is still laying around, a visual symbol of a major fuck-up.

Ok, so what's this got to do with Manlaw? A lot, because, as men, we've all FUBAR'd a relationship (if you haven't, you've never had a relationship, or you're just perfect, in which case you're not really a man. Real talk.) It could be the aftermath of the one mistake you made that you'll never really be forgiven for, or the cumulative effect of you not taking seriously signs that a woman is getting tired of your bullshit -- until it's too late. In other cases it may not have to do with a woman at all -- any relationship or important connection can be FUBAR'd by mistakes big and small.

So, brothers, we here at Manlaw invite you to tell us about your FUBARs -- share your stories of lost love, like or whatever that you had no choice but to sit and watch as it stood, damaged but beyond your ability to fix. No worries, you can remain anonymous and we promise not to make (too much) fun of your idiocy in ruining a good thing.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

What's the world come to?

Every once in a while, man bites dog. Or there's a freak snowstorm in August. Or a black man gets pulled over by cops who don't shoot at him 100 million times when he reaches for his driver's license.

But rarely does a man get over in divorce court. So rare it is, in fact, that when it happens, it's newsworthy: CBS Sportsline reports today that the former tennis great Chris Evert has to pay out $7 million to get unhitched from her husband. Yeah, you read it right -- a judge, in Florida of all places, let a man walk into court with divorce papers and walk out with cash. Her cash. Cats must be barking at dogs today. Pigs flying. Nelly speaking on Spelman's campus.....

What's next, huh? How about a spray-on condom?

So during the day I come across weird stories and this one is no different.

I have no manlaw for this. The piece speaks for itself.

Los Angeles Times
Posted November 30 2006, 2:23 PM EST

BERLIN -- German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.

Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, said the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.


"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said. "We're very serious."

Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. He said it would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip.

However, before the new condom can be sold in shops, the firm must ensure that the latex is evenly spread when sprayed, as well as optimise the vulcanization process.

Krause hopes the high tech condom, which will be available in different strengths and colours, will on the market by 2008.

He said the spray can would likely cost some 20 euros ($26) as a one-off purchase. The latex cartridges - sufficient for up to 20 applications - would cost roughly 10 euros, he said.

Krause said he had hit upon the idea when considering the difficulties some people faced using condoms, and drew inspiration from spray-on plasters now used in medicine.