Monday, October 23, 2006

Back to the grill again !

You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:

What would you change?


Gooders Girl posed the question. Allow me to answer. I will keep it dating specific as I'm sure you are not interested in a complete life story.

First, I would change the fact that my father never gave me nor my older brother the game. As my role model and the man I trust the most and am closest too, this is who I wanted to help explain the game to me. For this exercise game will be the same as knowledge. Ma Dukes gave me a science book at 11 or 12, every subsequent lesson was self taught or learned through; books, porn, the fuzzy playboy station that we didn't really get, high school peers, experience.

Second, I wish I understood the responsibility of it. Especially emotionally, not only to my self but to the girls involved. My first time was her first time, but for me it was just a conquest because I was tired of being the virgin in the group when the cool guys talked. Her, it was she really liked me. I ended up hurting her because I didn't understand game. She and I are platonic friends now.

I would change my first true love. Well I wouldn't change much. Just the fact that I took it for granted. The fact that I didn't understand that work needed to be done consistently for our love to be maintained. I thought love was self sustaining. It wasn't. She and I were platonic friends before lovers and are platonic friends now after our physical love.

I would change the fact that I took all of my experiences with women and for years used them to exploit their feelings more efficiently. At the same time exploiting my self, my character. I would change the fact that I negatively influenced young men to behave like me and mistreat young women. Hell, occasionally I still catch myself doing it.

I would change. . .now that I think of it. I wouldn't change it for me, because without me walking that path who's to say I would understand the game as I do now. I would change it for a son if God blesses me with one. For a daughter, I would buy a shotgun !

disclaimer: goodersgirl please don't take this post as anymore than me finding your question one that I wished to answer out loud.

5 comments:

BZ said...

Well well, grasshopper! Is that why I got a call last night? HAHAHA! J/K Acknowledgement of the flaw in our behavior is the first step to progress/improvement. Glad you're understanding yourself.

POPS said...

still "chasing jason's lyric through the morning dew field" i see. stay up.

Gooders Girl said...

I catch myself liking you a little bit now...lets see how long that lasts! There is nothing I would really change cos I kinda think "I rock."

Seriously though, If I could, I would go back in time and leave myslef clues or cheat notes to help me make better decisions. Yep made some that still makes me cringe.

The game for women is different. My dad tried to me teach with a shot gun! He was unsuccesful.

If you are blessed to have a daughter -- you won't need to rely on a shot gun if you love her 'honestly'.

If you are truly striving to be the man you say you are and she recognizes that, she will seek a mate who is no less than you.

In the meantime, I would instruct her on condom useage! She ain't gonna be Daddy's little girl every step of the way!

"practice makes perfect -- habits make a wo/man".

Southerner in Suomi said...

Good one, I say!!! I had to laugh at you buying your daughter a shotgun. My dad has three girls, so he was stuck in a house with us an my mom. Needless to say, violence against male companions was regularly mentioned.
Also, it is very true that a woman will be attracted to someone like their father. They are the first male relationship they will have. They will watch how you treat women and use that to form their self-image and worth. My daddy wasn't perfect, but he definately set a good example for me.
It seems that you understand that and will definately do a good job. This is the same with a son.
Once again, thumbs up on this one!! Life is a learning process. Where would we be without our mistakes?

gishungwa said...

am with you on not wanting to change anything. i think have become a better person vide my experiences. If you model for your daughter you dont need a shotgun. One thing that i would change though is my very first.