Questions from the mailbag: Part 3

Question from Dark & Lovely: Is there ever a time when a man should be expected to marry a woman?

Brother's Manlaw response: There is no official time table on it. Personally, I think after 2 years of dating, a man should know if he wants to marry a woman. Does that mean he will marry her before or after 2 years? No. But that's where the woman needs to stand up for herself and ask what does she want. If she's put in at least 2 good years and is in the safe child bearing age and wants kids and he isn't showing any signs of movement...she might want to consider dating other people. Men can be the biggest bullshitters on the planet and we'll have a woman on the hook for years or even decades if she lets us.

Buy you a drink?

When did it become proper for a woman to ask a guy she doesn't know to buy her a drink?

Or worst...when did it become proper for a woman to demand a guy she doesn't know to buy her a drink?

Or even worst than both of those...when did it become proper for a woman you don't know to ask or demand you buy her and her girlfriend(s) drinks?

Are we to blame T-Pain for this because of his popular (but when you read the lyrics word for word...extremely silly) song "Buy You A Drink?

Or have women in general lost their damn minds?

I don't know where to point the blame. But there is one thing I know for certain. This epidemic isn't cute and it is something that needs to stop. If you as a woman are that darn thirsty, BUY YOURSELF A DRINK.

I was having this discussion with a male friend about our recent vacations and it happened to him while he was on vacation.

To paraphrase his response.

He said if he just met a woman at a club/bar/lounge or entertainment establishment and he's only been talking to a woman for five minutes, she shouldn't ask him to buy her a drink because he's going to say hell no. It doesn't matter how hot a woman looks. If he wants to buy her a drink, he'll offer and pay. No need to ask and damn sure no need to demand.

And if a woman is bold enough to ask/demand, his response is "I was just about to ask you (as a woman) to buy me a drink." That as he tells me, always ends the conversation for good. lol. I need to borrow that at some point in the future.

I couldn't agree with his policy more. But I have a variation to it.

Now, I'm a fairly generous person when it comes to being social. My number one reason for being in a club/bar/lounge or entertainment venue is to dance. I'm not a drinker. I don't profile. I'm there to break out a sweat on the dance floor. If a woman that I don't know dances with me for a while and I'm enjoying her company, it is my good nature to offer to buy her a drink.

Generally speaking, you have to engage me in something meaningful (a dance or a great conversation on something not superficial) to get a drink out of me, if I don't know you. Which begs me to ask another question, when did women lose the art of socializing? Just looking cute and sitting/standing around ISN'T enough and whoever told you it was should be forced to listen to Ashanti sing live for 24 hours straight.

So, ladies spread the word and make sure your girlfriends "don't ask and darn sure don't tell" any man to buy her a drink. Because more than likely if you do that, you'll probably end up with a dude that thinks he owns you after one drink.

Questions from the Mailbag: Part 2

Question from Essence Cutie: Dear Man Law, I went through plenty of your blogs, and I didn't find this subject. Maybe I missed it. However, here it is. A lot of my friends are practicing celibacy in their relationships and they are happier than ever. I have strong feeling about it and it's worth considering. What are your views on this subject? How do your male friends feel about it. When is a good time to let him know, the beginning of the relationship or after a couple of dates?

Brother's Manlaw Response: Celibacy is not for every man or woman for that matter (AND IT CERTAINLY ISN'T FOR ME) and if I can speak for the majority of my male friends it isn't for them either. I might not want to have sex with you the first time I meet you but if there is a physical attraction and you have the personality to match the physical, I'm going to want to have sex with you at some point.

And if sex isn't on the table, it might be a deal breaker for me. I don't put a time frame on having sex with a woman and I can't stand women that have these silly 30, 60 or 90-day rules (yeah they read that silly chapter in Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady: Think Like A Man") because you can't put a time frame on sex. It never works. You have to go with your instincts to know when the moment is right or not. If you continue to make bad decisions on who to have sex with, then maybe you need to stop having sex altogether. But that's another blog topic for another day.

Now, if you are a woman and you believe in celibacy and it is a deal breaker for you then I think it is fair topic for discussion on Date 3 or after. Now, one more important thing on the celibacy issue. If you are going to claim you are celibate...you must STICK TO WHAT YOU SAY and you can't tease a man or go anywhere close to crossing that line. Because if you do that...eventually you will cross that line and you'll have nobody to blame but yourself.

Questions from the mailbag: Part 1

Question from reader: I'm in a relationship with a "good" man but the sex is horrible! Should I continue to fake it? Am I at fault for my partner being a terrible lover? Is it true you are only as good as your lover?" Question via Anonymous.

Brother's Manlaw Response: Part 1 of answer: No. You shouldn't continue to fake it. The first and most important reason is that you are not getting satisfied and I'm afraid that is probably going to lead you to cheat if you haven't already. The second reason is he doesn't know that he isn't pleasing you and that isn't good for him either. I highly recommend you have a heart to heart with him and don't begin the conversation with the dreaded phrase "WE NEED TO TALK" because the majority of men shutdown emotionally when a woman says that. Right after the next time you have dinner you take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom and you tell him...to just listen and watch you as you please yourself. Remember men are visual creatures. After a few minutes of this...you take his hands and guide them to your sweet spots. You whisper in his ear and tell him how much it turns you on that the man you care about caresses these sweet spots each time. Suggestion and Part 2 of answer: After one tutorial session where you lay your cards on the table so to speak, you watch to see what he does the next time you make love. If he really cares about you, he was paying attention and took mental notes of what you did and tries to repeat them the next time. If he forgets something just take his hand and guide them to the spot and if you think he needs vocal support...whisper it in his ear. Now, if he doesn't make any improvements over the course of the next 2-4 times you make love and you don't think he'll ever improve or he seems not to care about your feelings...you've got a big decision to make. Sex is usually a big part of a successful relationship to some people and if you are someone that believes that...you'll have to pick one or the other. If you think you are going to cheat, I would suggest you break up with him before you do cheat and search for someone that can satisfy you in the bedroom as well as satisfy you outside of it. Part 3 of the answer: You are not at fault for your partner being a terrible lover because some people are just selfish lovers, or they don't pay attention to what they are doing and how someone responds to them in bed. No, it isn't true that you are only as good as your lover.

Where to meet womem

O.K. Fellas.

You're single (and don't want to be) and you're looking for a woman. I go out often in New Jersey and New York City and sometimes in Philadelphia and here is what I've observed. There are too many of our beautiful women who are single and in most cases don't want to be.

It might be our fault. It might even be her fault. It could be both of our faults.

Something has to give.

Now, I can't promise you that she'll be single or even a woman that you would want to date...that's your homework assignment...should you choose to accept it.

I'll just point you in the right direction. I've listed these as they came into my brain and not in order of importance. You're welcome to agree or disagree with me.

1) Weddings

2) Broadway plays and musicals.

3) Concerts of any adult male singer.

4) Happy Hours/Afterwork events

5) Home Depot/Lowes (this was strongly suggested by some single female homeowners in the Philly but I'm not officially buying it. lol)

6) Library

7) Spoken Word events

8) Fundraisers for charities

9) Museums

10) Any department store that has a good female shoe section.

11) Bookstores

12) Community service events

12) Wine tastings

13) Political events

14) Birthday parties of your single female friends

50 Grand a month for some....

I can't even finish the phrase from Method Man talking about the $55,000 Kelis was awarded in child support and spousal support from Nas recently. I saw that 75 percent of that money is for spousal support and the other 25 percent is for child support.

You can search on Youtube for the NC-17 rated clip as Method Man and Redman voice their opinion on child support and spousal support.

Removing the "derogatory lines" out of straight frustration. I agree 1 million percent with the underlying message that Method Man and Redman are saying.

Long term spousal support is wrong.
My thoughts: If you were making an income, then spousal support should be a
one-time payment equal to your total earnings from the previous tax year. If you
were not making an income, then spousal support should be a one-time payment
equaled to what the richer party spent on the spouse the previous tax year.

College fund as part of child support.
My thoughts: I don't know if this is standard but it probably should be. As part
of the child support package, I would like to see men have to dedicate money to
a college fund THAT THE MOTHER CAN'T TOUCH and only the child can reclaim on
their 18th birthday. If the child should die before their 18th birthday, the
mother should then get the money or have the money split between the mother and
father.

Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man Discussion (Part 2)

I want to say thank you to the 165 people that tuned into the live chat on Easter Sunday. I'm not sure if all the chatters were women but I suspect a very good portion were that night. Thank you for the support.

I hope you enjoyed the comments from my man Keith and I about the topics that Steve Harvey mentioned in his book. Someone asked when are we going to do a chat like this again and the honest answer is, I don't know.

If someone wants our thoughts (the male perspective...that is) on a specific topic about dating e-mail us at brothersmanlaw@yahoo.com and I'll see if I can't turn it into a blog entry or another chat.

Once again thanks for making the 4 hour and 47 minute chat (I was only planning on 2 hours max...lol) a total success.

Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man Discussion...

Please come back on Sunday, April 12 at 7 p.m. as I'll host an online discussion about Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man."

I agreed with about 65 percent of what Steve Harvey said. The book is hilarious and even if you think Steve Harvey is full of himself...the book is worth a look. On Sunday evening, I'm going to give the non-celebrity man's point-of-view of what Steve Havey was saying.

See you then.

Lets Talk

From MSNBC.com

By Associated Press:

Police in Connecticut say a woman attempting to reconcile with her husband handcuffed herself to him as he slept and then bit him on his torso and arms.

Police say 37-year-old Helen Sun told them she wanted to have a conversation with husband Robert Drawbough without him leaving. Police say she changed the locks on their bedroom and handcuffed herself to Drawbough while he was sleeping Monday.

Drawbough used a cell phone to call police. Officers heard his screams when they arrived at the couple's Fairfield home. He was treated at a local hospital.

Police charged Sun with third-degree assault, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and unlawful restraint. She was due in Bridgeport Superior Court on Tuesday.

Manlaw: Only allow her to handcuff you if it comes with a "happy ending"

Public Service Annoucement for the Ladies

-Written By A Woman

Honestly, I’m tired of hearing chicks say, “Men ain’t ish.” While this may be true some of the time, have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s something that you’re doing that is making men not want to stop and talk to you? You could just be unapproachable and that is why you can’t find a decent man. Maybe it’s something beyond your control, but then again maybe it’s not. Try to check the following:


Your Expressions:

Body language can tell a lot about a person like whether they’re mad or happy, or if they’re too busy to be bothered. You cannot go out somewhere and expect to meet men if you’re going to sit in the same spot all night with your arms folded across your chest. Men feed off your energy so if you want to meet someone you will have to be aware of your body language at all times. You don’t want the same ugly no good men walking up to you asking, “Why you looking so mean?” You know they’re bold and don’t care. Keep a pleasant look on your face and uncross your arms. This is an invite to let men into your space.

Your Appearance:

So you’re really walking out the house with curlers in your hair and your toes hanging over your flip flops? This is a no-no if you’re trying to catch a positive eye. Mr. Right could be out there but he’s going to look right over you and put you in the “hell no” category. If you have on sandals, make sure they are the right size and your toes are done. And if you have to keep your hair tied up, try to at least do it stylishly with a silky scarf…think Alicia Keys “Unbreakable” video. A good man wants his lady to look nice when she steps out.

Who you’re with:

“You’re only as good as the company you keep.” So why are choosing the loudest friends you have to go party with? You know the ones that dance on top of the bar and grab guys to get their attention and to buy them drinks. Sure, you all have a good time when you’re out. But save them for ladies nights when you aren’t thinking about men. If he see’s you with them, more than likely, he will think you act just like them and will ignore any eye contact you give him.

Manlaw: Already explained in the first paragraph by the female ghost writer.

They've got the pill for you in Sweden and Finland

if you have premature ejaculation problems. Not something that I need help with but for those of you suffering from this problem you might want to read the story below and then my comments afterwards.

J&J Ejaculation Pill, World’s First, Wins Approvals (Update2)

By Alex Nussbaum
Feb. 10 (Bloomberg) -- Johnson & Johnson won approval in Sweden and Finland for the first prescription pill to treat premature ejaculation, three years after U.S. regulators rejected the drug, the company said.
The drugmaker expects to win clearance for dapoxetine, to be sold as Priligy, in five more European nations and has applied for approval in Canada, Australia, Mexico, Turkey and six other countries, said Greg Panico, a spokesman for New Brunswick, New Jersey-based J&J, today in a telephone interview. The pill, taken a few hours before intercourse, should be in European drugstores by April, he said.
“There’s a globally significant market” for premature ejaculation treatments, Panico said. He declined to estimate sales.
Dapoxetine may generate $575 million a year by 2011 for the company, said Michael Weinstein, a JPMorgan Chase & Co. analyst in New York, in an Oct. 29 note to clients. It’s one of several drugs J&J is developing to replace revenue it expects to lose to generic competition to top-selling medications such as the antipsychotic Risperdal, he said.
Johnson & Johnson fell $1.77, or 3 percent, to $56.73 in New York Stock Exchange composite trading at 4 p.m.. The company has lost 8.5 percent over 12 months.
Potential Patients
From 4 percent to 30 percent of men worldwide suffer premature ejaculation at some point in their lives, Panico said. Estimates vary because some men are embarrassed to admit the condition, he said. J&J defined the condition as ejaculation within a minute of penetration. The Merck Manual of Medical Information defines it as ejaculation sooner than men or their partners would like.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration turned down J&J’s application to sell dapoxetine in 2006 without explanation. Panico wouldn’t discuss the FDA rejection. He said J&J was “keeping its options open” to resubmit the pill in the U.S.
Dapoxetine neutralizes a chemical messenger in the brain called serotonin, the neurotransmitter also affected by antidepressants such as Eli Lilly & Co.'s Prozac. The antidepressants also may be prescribed to treat premature ejaculation, according to the National Institutes of Health.
The serotonin-targeting drugs have been subject of thousands of lawsuits against companies including Pfizer Inc., GlaxoSmithKline Plc.and Merck & Co.by patients who say the medicines increased the risk of suicide.
Five clinical trials involving 6,000 men using dapoxetine found no evidence suicide or suicidal thoughts increased, Panico said. J&J’s drug is taken as needed, so it should pose fewer potential dangers than antidepressants taken regularly, he said.
The drug was originally developed by Lilly as a potential antidepressant and licensed to J&J, Panico said. The company is also awaiting decisions on approval in Austria, Germany, Spain, Italy and Portugal, said a statement morning by Janssen-Cilag EMEA, the J&J unit marketing the drug.

Manlaw: First, Viagra and now this. What will they think of next? The sound you hear is about 1.5 million women clapping hard and asking when they can get their hands on this pill for the men in their lives. It is probably one of the most embarrassing things in a man's life to "come" too early and probably one of the most frustrating things in a woman's life to have to deal with a guy that does this often. I can see some very bold women ordering this pill in bulk and keeping it in the medicine cabinet, just in case. You have to figure good men are hard to find and good men that make women "come" like a river are even more rare. Now, does anyone see it as being hypocritical to approve Viagra but not approve a pill like this?

Women Can Smell a Man's Sexual Intentions?

By Melinda Wenner
Life Science

It's not hard to tell when a guy is "happy to see you."

The twinkle in his eye, his swagger, that sexy smile — all are clear
signs he's in the mood.

And, at least subconsciously, a woman can also tell by the scent of
his sweat, according to new research.

Scientists have long debated whether humans, like animals, use
chemical signals called pheromones to communicate sexual interest to
potential mates.

Problem is, the effects of pheromones are thought to be subconscious —
meaning that if we do communicate using them, we sure don't know it.

It's also hard to know what these pheromones might be and how we sense
them, so researchers understand little about them.

But if human pheromones are going to be anywhere, they're going to be
in sweat, right?

Denise Chen, a psychologist at Rice University in Houston, and her
colleagues devised an experiment to compare how women respond to
different forms of male sweat — sweat produced in everyday situations
versus that produced when a man is turned on.

The researchers speculated that if humans do produce and respond to
sweat pheromones, then a woman should respond to a guy's sexual sweat
differently than she does to his normal sweat.

Chen and her colleagues asked 20 heterosexual guys to stop wearing
deodorant and scented products for a few days.

Then they told the men to put small pads in their armpits as they
watched pornographic videos and became aroused. (The researchers
confirmed, using electrodes, that the images did the job.)

Later, the guys were asked to exchange those pads for fresh pads to
collect the sweat they produced when they weren't aroused.

Then the researchers recruited 19 brave women to smell the men's pads
while undergoing brain scans.

The investigators used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), a
technique that reveals the brain regions a person is using at any
given time — even if their brain activity is subconscious.

Sure enough, the women's brains responded very differently depending
on which sweat they sniffed. (And no, none of them passed out.)

The sexual sweat, but not the normal sweat, activated the right
orbitofrontal cortex and the right fusiform cortex, brain areas that
help us recognize emotions and perceive things, respectively.

Both regions are in the right hemisphere, which is generally involved
in smell, social response, and emotion.

The findings bolster the idea that humans do communicate via
subconscious chemical signals, notes Chen in her study, which was
published in the Dec. 31 issue of the Journal of Neuroscience.

Our sexual intentions, in other words, may be a lot clearer than we
ever intended them to be.

That crush you have on your co-worker? She may already know — at least
subconsciously.
***
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479819,00.html

Manlaw: Why did they have 20 guys and only 19 women participate for this experiment? Anyways, as much as I would like to throw dirt on this experiment you can never underestimate the power of smell. I'm going to use some extra deodrant so that I'm not giving away my intentions too soon.

New Dating philosophy?

I saw the following passage about a guy posted on a message board. Funny story and a lesson for the ladies out there.

-- MY DATE LAST NIGHT ---

When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan. Now don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I came away from the date feeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!

In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and ev en I was surprised that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that right- 5%! One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all this evidence I knew I had to change some things. So, this year.....

I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a credit card and ask them to open tabs for us. HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you know the Mastercard "priceless" serie s of commercials? Well, let me tell you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food (that they would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing to encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause SHE'S PAYING.

Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination of both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which brings me to my date last night...... omg.....

Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested w asn't good enough for her. Nah...she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson? Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar. Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the 'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me tell you - the girl i was with could really throw down the drinks. She was drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I encouraged her the whole way. She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever try it?' She's like....'Nooooooo!!!' I'm like, 'go on....just get some'. She's like 'are you sure'. I'm like, 'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she ordered one, then another, and finally one more..... wow she was probably more than a little drunk. I stuck to my Stoli and a splash of Cran.

When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5 drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli, but overall still a good value (i ate a ton of free macadamias and almond ds) $36.00. Damn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the restroom. I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date was heading out toward the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave - without paying!

Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor waitress standing just inside the front door with a small coctail tray. she did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn' t help wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that shit is expensive? Then I wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local Irish pub.

I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too...


Hence the manlaw: The ladies will get mad because it was a situation where a woman tried to get over on a guy and got PLAYED herself. The telling sign was the walk or sprint of shame to the door, when she she knew damn well she didn't have any cash or the means to pay for the outrageous stuff SHE ordered.

Who the fawk goes out (male or female) and doesn't have ANY MONEY or at least a credit card on them in case of emergency? And if you know you don't have any loot, why are you ordering enough grub and drank to feed an army? That's a terrible upbringing if she was told that a child and even worst if this was reinforced as a young adult.

It tells me she wasn't interested in getting to know the guy, or anyone for that matter, at all...it was all about her "getting something" out of it. What if he walked out on her and left her sitting at the table? What would she have done then? Has dating really deteriorated to this? Do women really calculate in their mind "how much they can squeeze out of a guy on a date?" This gimme mentality has to go...in 2009.

Bottom line.

1) You never assume anything.
2) You always let someone order for themselves.
3) If you don't have MONEY and this goes to ladies too...stay home. Or if you really want to go out, state that you have no money before we agree on plans.

Personally, there wouldn't have been a date if she tried to run this scam on me. The second she mentioned something that was 180 degrees different than what I suggested, it would have been a wrap for me.

Till Adultery Do Us Part?

Suspended sentence for thespian Korean adulteress Ok So-Ri

Article from: Agence France-Presse
A LEADING South Korean actress who unsuccessfully challenged a national law which criminalises adultery has been given a suspended jail sentence for her extra-marital affair.

Ok So-Ri, 40, was sentenced by a district court on Wednesday after the constitutional court in October rejected her petition against the decades-old law.

Ok had admitted having an affair with a pop singer but blamed it on a loveless marriage to actor husband Park Chul, who had sued her and two of her alleged lovers. She had argued that the law infringed the right of individual choice in sexual relations. But the constitutional court ruled that adultery should remain a crime punishable by jail. It was the fourth time the court had refused to overturn the legislation, introduced in 1953. Ok was given a suspended eight-month jail term by the court in Goyang city, 30km northwest of Seoul.

"Committing adultery with an acquaintance of the spouse is something to be denounced. However, the accuser (Park) should also be blamed for being negligent in family life," the court said in a statement."It should also be taken into account that the accused, a celebrity whose private life has been laid bare to the public, has suffered enough pain."

The 38-year-old pop singer, who was not publicly identified, received a suspended six-month jail sentence.Ok's petition rekindled debate over whether adultery should be a crime punishable by up to two years in jail.

Some women's groups contend the law must be maintained to protect female rights in a traditionally male-dominated society. Critics say it breaches an individual's right to sexual choice and is outdated. Some lawmakers are pushing for a bill to repeal the legislation. The law is usually invoked only when a husband or wife complains of a partner's adultery. He or she must follow up the complaint by filing for divorce.

According to a survey quoted by newspapers last year, nearly 68 percent of South Korean men and 12 percent of women confessed to having sex outside marriage. Court data shows the number of people jailed for adultery has declined sharply over the years. Last year, 1,190 people were indicted but only 47 were jailed and 592 were given suspended sentences.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24813882-2703,00.html

Manlaw: Let me first say that this is a fawked-up law in South Korea. With that said, O.K. So-Ri and any male that voilates this law should be lucky the penalty isn't castration. See, if that was the penalty, I think adultery would be WAY down (no pun intended). But the interesting stat is the survey done by South Korean newspapers that said "nearly 68 percent of South Korean men and 12 percent of women confessed to having sex outside of marriage." Now, you know someone is lying here and when there is such a disparity in the polling, I am throwing the dirt on the women. These men are not cheating by themselves. Women have much more incentive to lie about sex than men so they will not be seen as loose. To correct this irregularity, you should multiply the women's precentage by at least 3 to bring it to 36 percent. That's more believable.

The New 50-50

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7661786.stm
Cambodian couple cut home in half

Mr Rim's half of the house has been moved to an undisclosed location
An estranged couple in Cambodia have sawn their house in half to avoid the country's convoluted divorce process.
Moeun Rim and his wife, Nhanh, who have been married nearly 40 years, split the building last week following an argument, local officials said.
Mr Rim has removed his share of the property and the couple have also divided their land into four parts; two for their children, and two for them.
Divorce cases in Cambodia can be costly and may take a long time to settle.
The house - or one half of the house - is located in Prey Veng province, about 90km (56 miles) from the capital, Phnom Penh.

In sickness and health

The couple fell out after Mr Rim accused his wife of neglecting him whilst he was ill.
"We tried to persuade them to think clearly before they did this because they had been married for nearly 40 years," local chief Vorng Morn told the Phnom Penh Post newspaper.
"But they did not listen," he said.
A local lawyer told the newspaper that dividing a property was legal if both parties had agreed to it - but that it did not mean the pair were legally divorced.
"If in the future they have any disagreements, the provincial chief will not be responsible, as there had not been a judgment from the court," Prak Phin said.

P.S. a.k.a "the manlaw"

This gives a new definition to the phrase "50-50" and it better not catch on in the United States. Always judge a relationship by the bad times and how she's able to deal with it. Once you have your answer, then you'll know if you need to cut your loses in half and be done with it.

The new punishment for not doing housework?

A 20-year-old Fort Worth, TX woman will have a lot of explaining to do before a judge after she's accused of an aggravated assault charge after police say she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.

You know this didn't start and most likely will not end (that's if he's not dead next time) with the dishes. This woman has ISSUES and it most likely has nothing to do with him. He probably isn't a saint either but when you bite someone, break a picture frame across someone's face and swing a sword...YOU ARE TRYING TO CAUSE unrepairable damage.

Hence the manlaw: There is no honor is getting beat up by your girlfriend and for god's sake move out of the way or at least duck the next time she goes on a war path. Unless the girlfriend is an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling, softball or fencing, a healthy male should be able to fend off a woman. Either that or hit the gym. Sheeesh.

Caught With Your Pants Down...

This appeared on Craig's list and I have to give a fist pound to the woman that obviously wrote the following item.

Found : Your Panties (Please Come Get Them) (222 Curlew St, Rochester, NY 14613)

---

Reply to: comm-821755873@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-01, 1:40AM EDT


Found:

Hi. I found your panties and I was wondering if you want them back. You left them at my house between August 18 and August 23 while I was in the hospital delivering my son. I don't know who you are, but obviously you know my husband.

Anyways, I would like you to come and get them. I am not going to assault you or threaten you, or say or do anything against you, this is obviously my husband's wrong doing. I'm honestly not even sure that you knew he was married. He might have even told you some BS story just to get into your panties...which you forgot to take with you.

For all of you reading this who think it is a joke, I assure you that it is not. My husband, however finds it to be a hoot. He even tried to tell me that they must be mine and I am mistaken. This is not the case. First off, I have bought all of my own underwear, so I know what I own. Secondly, I have not worn panties in this size for 2 years, so I am sure that I would vividly remember seeing them in my underwear drawer for 2 years. Third, if they were mine, being that they are too small, they would not have ended up in my laundry because I would not be able to wear them.

If you are not sure that they are yours, I have attached a photo and will leave a description of the panties below. No explanation on your part is required, but if you are interested in testifying in court to pay him back for treating you like a piece of meat, I am happy to oblige you, it is your choice. If these are your panties, please e-mail me and I will give you the address you can pick them up at, though I'm sure you all ready know it.

Specs on Said Panties:

*Size 6

*Magenta fabric with black stitching around the gathering on the lower half.

"Love and Kisses" applique on the front in light pink and black

Small silver heart charm attached to black bow on the front, center.

My husband wanted to keep them, but I managed to pull them from his grasp after I threw them at him. I figure someone might want them back. Again, no explanation on your part is necessary. If you want, I will even mail them to your address or your friend's address so that you don't have to meet me. They are even freshly washed, since I did not notice them until I took them out of the dryer tonight with a load of my laundry.

Thanks!

Sometimes a manlaw writes itself: The guy indirectly mentioned in this post needs to turn in his player card IMMEDIATELY. He shouldn't pass Go and he damn sure isn't collecting $200 (he's probably going to pay 10 times that in a divorce settlement. If he was that careless to leave incriminating evidence around...then he deserves whatever punishment his wife dishes out.

Black is Beautiful..

And Susan Crain Bakos wrote an essay about it.

Like to read it? Here you go...

You have to give it to her because she does bring up some interesting points.

Wifey Material: How Do You Stack Up?

No. 1 Quality Men Want in a Wife
(from aol.com)

Filed under: Attraction & Chemistry, Friends & Family, Dating, Commitment & Marriage


The adage is true: Men tend to marry a woman who is like their mother.

We're not talking looks or personality. It's even bigger than that. We're talking life direction. Whether a young man's mother earned a college degree and whether she worked outside the home while he was growing up seems to have an effect years later when he considers his ideal wife, according to a study by University of Iowa sociologist Christine Whelan, author of "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women."

High-achieving men, that is those who earn salaries in the top 10 percent for their age and/or have a graduate degree, are highly likely to marry a woman whose education level mirrors their mom's.

Nearly 80 percent of the high-achieving men whose mothers had college degrees married women with college degrees, and 19 percent of them married women with graduate degrees. Of men whose moms had graduate degrees, 62 percent tied the knot with graduate degree holders, and 27 percent said "I do" to women with college degrees.

Sixty-eight percent of high-achieving men agreed with the statement, "Smart women make better mothers."

"Successful men in their 20s and 30s today are the sons of a pioneering generation of high-achieving career women. Their mothers serve as role models for how a woman can be nurturing and successful at the same time," said Whelan, a visiting assistant professor of sociology in the UI College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. "One man I interviewed put it like this: 'If your mother is a success, you don't have any ideas of success and family that exclude a woman from working.'"

Fun facts about men and their mothers:

-- 72 percent of mothers of high-achieving men worked outside the home after they had children.

-- Among those men, 75 percent agreed or strongly agreed with the statement "Men are more attracted to women who are successful in their careers."

-- Men who grew up with working moms were almost twice as likely to marry a woman who makes $50,000 or more per year.

-- 62 percent of high-achieving single men disagreed with this statement: "Women who are stay-at-home parents are better mothers than women who work outside the home."

-- 75 percent of the high-achieving men disagreed with this statement: "It is usually better for everyone involved if the man is the achiever outside the home and the woman takes care of the home and family."

"These young men saw their mothers as smart women who could choose to work outside the home, and now that they're making decisions about what they want in a wife, it seems that they are choosing similar types of women," said graduate student Christie Boxer, who assisted with the research.

Manlaw: Ladies get to know a man's mother very closely. He might not admit this to your face but in some way he's comparing you to his mother to see how you stack up.

You Don't Even Know You Are the Father!

I guess this is an only in the UK story because I don't see how this would fly in the United States.

Manlaw: Another reason to ALWAYS wrap it up. Don't take any chances. As it has been proven time and again, the courts will find a way to screw a man over if they can.