This is the first set of questions sent to brothersmanlaw@yahoo.com. Remember we will not reveal the names of those who submit questions.
Do you feel that a man and a woman can truly be platonic friends despite any lingering attraction?
SPCHRIST response
No. If one party (male or female) thinks the other is attractive...there is always the chance that party will test the curiosity in the future.
SKINNY G response
There will always be a sense of uneasiness when it comes to one party being attracted to a female friend. That party will attempt to gain the attention of the opposite sex by doing things that they would not do with other friends. It can't be a true platonic relationship with those attractive feelings.
Why do you think some women never give "good guys" a chance in favor of the "bad boys"?
SPCHRIST response
If women actually gave "good guys" a chance and stopped chasing "bad boys", they would have absolutely nothing to complain about.
SKINNY G response
I recall when I was a young G in high school and the rep on me was quoted by a female friend about me. "Greg, I could not date you because you are too nice and I would feel bad because I would cheat on you and you would not cheat on me."
I was like what kind of bullcrap is that. So as I got older I also experienced that women are more intreagued by guys who have a sense of excitement. It's usually those guys who live on the edge. But my question is how do you know good guys don't live on the edge too, but it's a different type.
But today I find that as ladies get older they tend to go for less drama after dealing with the wanna be thugs of yesteryear.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Back to the grill again !
You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:
What would you change?
Gooders Girl posed the question. Allow me to answer. I will keep it dating specific as I'm sure you are not interested in a complete life story.
First, I would change the fact that my father never gave me nor my older brother the game. As my role model and the man I trust the most and am closest too, this is who I wanted to help explain the game to me. For this exercise game will be the same as knowledge. Ma Dukes gave me a science book at 11 or 12, every subsequent lesson was self taught or learned through; books, porn, the fuzzy playboy station that we didn't really get, high school peers, experience.
Second, I wish I understood the responsibility of it. Especially emotionally, not only to my self but to the girls involved. My first time was her first time, but for me it was just a conquest because I was tired of being the virgin in the group when the cool guys talked. Her, it was she really liked me. I ended up hurting her because I didn't understand game. She and I are platonic friends now.
I would change my first true love. Well I wouldn't change much. Just the fact that I took it for granted. The fact that I didn't understand that work needed to be done consistently for our love to be maintained. I thought love was self sustaining. It wasn't. She and I were platonic friends before lovers and are platonic friends now after our physical love.
I would change the fact that I took all of my experiences with women and for years used them to exploit their feelings more efficiently. At the same time exploiting my self, my character. I would change the fact that I negatively influenced young men to behave like me and mistreat young women. Hell, occasionally I still catch myself doing it.
I would change. . .now that I think of it. I wouldn't change it for me, because without me walking that path who's to say I would understand the game as I do now. I would change it for a son if God blesses me with one. For a daughter, I would buy a shotgun !
disclaimer: goodersgirl please don't take this post as anymore than me finding your question one that I wished to answer out loud.
What would you change?
Gooders Girl posed the question. Allow me to answer. I will keep it dating specific as I'm sure you are not interested in a complete life story.
First, I would change the fact that my father never gave me nor my older brother the game. As my role model and the man I trust the most and am closest too, this is who I wanted to help explain the game to me. For this exercise game will be the same as knowledge. Ma Dukes gave me a science book at 11 or 12, every subsequent lesson was self taught or learned through; books, porn, the fuzzy playboy station that we didn't really get, high school peers, experience.
Second, I wish I understood the responsibility of it. Especially emotionally, not only to my self but to the girls involved. My first time was her first time, but for me it was just a conquest because I was tired of being the virgin in the group when the cool guys talked. Her, it was she really liked me. I ended up hurting her because I didn't understand game. She and I are platonic friends now.
I would change my first true love. Well I wouldn't change much. Just the fact that I took it for granted. The fact that I didn't understand that work needed to be done consistently for our love to be maintained. I thought love was self sustaining. It wasn't. She and I were platonic friends before lovers and are platonic friends now after our physical love.
I would change the fact that I took all of my experiences with women and for years used them to exploit their feelings more efficiently. At the same time exploiting my self, my character. I would change the fact that I negatively influenced young men to behave like me and mistreat young women. Hell, occasionally I still catch myself doing it.
I would change. . .now that I think of it. I wouldn't change it for me, because without me walking that path who's to say I would understand the game as I do now. I would change it for a son if God blesses me with one. For a daughter, I would buy a shotgun !
disclaimer: goodersgirl please don't take this post as anymore than me finding your question one that I wished to answer out loud.
WBML-TV
for all of you that subscribe to brothersmanlaw television you may have to adjust the contrast of your set before viewing. . .
I had a couple things on my mind I wanted to share. . .It's been that kind of couple of weeks ! I meant to disagree with some of the things I've read since the last time I posted. I am well aware that this is brothersmanlaw, I am also aware as I hope all of you are that sometimes brothers fight, sometimes they disagree, sometimes they just don't see eye to eye. I was reading phantom zone and I felt like Greg didn't do me justice. And in the interest of contrast and balance, I wanted to present my difference of opinion.
A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;
I can roll with both of these. I always believed the woman usually knows at-a-glance. You might be able to talk your way into some. But 7 times out of 10 you talk yourself out of some. Holla if ya hear me !
C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)
My first problem here is that there are so many more categories(ie; sugar daddies, pimps, . . .but that's a whole nother post.) My direct issue is to say that "friends" = emasculated. I mean damn, I have female friends that I have never slept with for a myriad of reasons including they ain't feelin me like that but should I not be "friends" with them ?
It makes me ask myself, can I be friends with a woman I am attracted to and not try to sleep with her. Shit, I hope so. I have female friends who are married who weren't married or unnatractive when we became friends. I hope to get married. Should I warn my future wife that all these women immediately want to sleep with me, might be interested in sleeping with me or are going to emasculate me.
I love to believe the first one is the most true. . .gimme a minute to think about that. Ahhh yes ! I mean I did look through my phone book last night wanting to get some and saw a bunch of women's names that were just platonic. I wish I had a found a non-platonic relationship, but this wasn't To be true not last night. Too bad I didn't get any numbers off of my reformed pimp routine, I was projected thourgh December. But let me not be digruntled. Greg did drop some gems about men hiding your physical interests. I wholeheartedly agree. Fellas, be slow and sweet if you are slow and sweet. Not if you are a ho and street. And the manlaw produced was "be who you be" is close to my highschool yearbook quote penned 13 years ago.
A true brothersmanlaw passed down to me from my brother when i was 16:
("As long as you're you, I'll be me")
as far as the bad boys getting all the chics. . it's true women love a bad boy but them cats don't last. . .and good women don't want them anyway. . .
now before I go, before the comments begin, let me leave you with this. I ain't writing to get a rise out of you, okay a little. I'm writing cuz I enjoy sharing my thoughts. I ain't baggin blogger broads (broads only used for aliteration, i swear !) . I ain't trying to come off as the sensitive blogger. Besides, most of ya'll don't know me from Adam. I am trying to provide contrast to the blog, the same contrast that i also possess in my thoughts, a different mindset to the party. So please rather than trying to diagnose or expose, attempt to understand. Cuz on the real, "Game always recognizes game" and ya'll see it because I didn't even have to mention no names.
next post is gooders girl inspired from this comment: You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:
What would you change?
STAY TUNED
I had a couple things on my mind I wanted to share. . .It's been that kind of couple of weeks ! I meant to disagree with some of the things I've read since the last time I posted. I am well aware that this is brothersmanlaw, I am also aware as I hope all of you are that sometimes brothers fight, sometimes they disagree, sometimes they just don't see eye to eye. I was reading phantom zone and I felt like Greg didn't do me justice. And in the interest of contrast and balance, I wanted to present my difference of opinion.
A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;
I can roll with both of these. I always believed the woman usually knows at-a-glance. You might be able to talk your way into some. But 7 times out of 10 you talk yourself out of some. Holla if ya hear me !
C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)
My first problem here is that there are so many more categories(ie; sugar daddies, pimps, . . .but that's a whole nother post.) My direct issue is to say that "friends" = emasculated. I mean damn, I have female friends that I have never slept with for a myriad of reasons including they ain't feelin me like that but should I not be "friends" with them ?
It makes me ask myself, can I be friends with a woman I am attracted to and not try to sleep with her. Shit, I hope so. I have female friends who are married who weren't married or unnatractive when we became friends. I hope to get married. Should I warn my future wife that all these women immediately want to sleep with me, might be interested in sleeping with me or are going to emasculate me.
I love to believe the first one is the most true. . .gimme a minute to think about that. Ahhh yes ! I mean I did look through my phone book last night wanting to get some and saw a bunch of women's names that were just platonic. I wish I had a found a non-platonic relationship, but this wasn't To be true not last night. Too bad I didn't get any numbers off of my reformed pimp routine, I was projected thourgh December. But let me not be digruntled. Greg did drop some gems about men hiding your physical interests. I wholeheartedly agree. Fellas, be slow and sweet if you are slow and sweet. Not if you are a ho and street. And the manlaw produced was "be who you be" is close to my highschool yearbook quote penned 13 years ago.
A true brothersmanlaw passed down to me from my brother when i was 16:
("As long as you're you, I'll be me")
as far as the bad boys getting all the chics. . it's true women love a bad boy but them cats don't last. . .and good women don't want them anyway. . .
now before I go, before the comments begin, let me leave you with this. I ain't writing to get a rise out of you, okay a little. I'm writing cuz I enjoy sharing my thoughts. I ain't baggin blogger broads (broads only used for aliteration, i swear !) . I ain't trying to come off as the sensitive blogger. Besides, most of ya'll don't know me from Adam. I am trying to provide contrast to the blog, the same contrast that i also possess in my thoughts, a different mindset to the party. So please rather than trying to diagnose or expose, attempt to understand. Cuz on the real, "Game always recognizes game" and ya'll see it because I didn't even have to mention no names.
next post is gooders girl inspired from this comment: You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:
What would you change?
STAY TUNED
Friday, October 20, 2006
A new feature
In an attempt to spur more conversation manlaw will embark on a new feature called "Ask Manlaw".
We will answer questions based on your experiences in a blog entry. The brothers of manlaw will attempt to give our expert opinions.
We will not reveal the person's who submits questions.
If you want to ask the brothers any question we will post our responses. Email at brothersmanlaw@hotmail.com.
We will answer questions based on your experiences in a blog entry. The brothers of manlaw will attempt to give our expert opinions.
We will not reveal the person's who submits questions.
If you want to ask the brothers any question we will post our responses. Email at brothersmanlaw@hotmail.com.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The Phantom Zone
During life men will meet a number of women. They will encounter women they are attracted to and there are women they will befriend.
We will focus on the combination of the two.
There is the notion that women women say they want the man that they love to be their best friend also.
There are some women who say that may not be the case.
It is my belief that women are full of shit when they say they want their man to also be their best friend.
When a woman meets a man they have three categories to place a man into:
A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;
C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)
But the main reason that many men fall into the "friend" trap is because they act like friends at the outset of the relationship (or very soon after). Because they're shy, nervous around women, scared of rejection, insecure, or just desperate, they hesitantly hang around in the background, fumbling and sweating, hoping women will notice them and get the hint that they're interested.
In other words, they cloak their interest and shy away from openly declaring their sexual intentions. They are not sexually confident men. They don't want to expose themselves to rejection. But the truth is, you can't act like a friend and expect a woman to be attracted to you.
Women are attracted to male strength and masculinity (just as men are attracted to femininity). This is why bad boys (who are sexually confident men) are never friends -- they're always sexual partners.
However, women complain about these same "bad boys" as the men that they don't want
for a mate.
But men who are gentlemanly, accommodating, sincere and warm are the guys who are generally at the bottom of the totem pole.
MANLAW: Fellas be who you be.
I have been told by many women in my past that they didn't appreciate the person that I am because of their perceptions. But I have always been consistent in my approach to life. If you are a stone cold gentlemen be that. If you are like 50 Cent. Be who you be and don't let the ladies change who you are because if you change, you are living a lie for yourself and for your woman.
If you fall into that friend zone, don't fret, in the long run she will regret the label.
We will focus on the combination of the two.
There is the notion that women women say they want the man that they love to be their best friend also.
There are some women who say that may not be the case.
It is my belief that women are full of shit when they say they want their man to also be their best friend.
When a woman meets a man they have three categories to place a man into:
A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;
C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)
But the main reason that many men fall into the "friend" trap is because they act like friends at the outset of the relationship (or very soon after). Because they're shy, nervous around women, scared of rejection, insecure, or just desperate, they hesitantly hang around in the background, fumbling and sweating, hoping women will notice them and get the hint that they're interested.
In other words, they cloak their interest and shy away from openly declaring their sexual intentions. They are not sexually confident men. They don't want to expose themselves to rejection. But the truth is, you can't act like a friend and expect a woman to be attracted to you.
Women are attracted to male strength and masculinity (just as men are attracted to femininity). This is why bad boys (who are sexually confident men) are never friends -- they're always sexual partners.
However, women complain about these same "bad boys" as the men that they don't want
for a mate.
But men who are gentlemanly, accommodating, sincere and warm are the guys who are generally at the bottom of the totem pole.
MANLAW: Fellas be who you be.
I have been told by many women in my past that they didn't appreciate the person that I am because of their perceptions. But I have always been consistent in my approach to life. If you are a stone cold gentlemen be that. If you are like 50 Cent. Be who you be and don't let the ladies change who you are because if you change, you are living a lie for yourself and for your woman.
If you fall into that friend zone, don't fret, in the long run she will regret the label.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Game Time Decisions
Doug Williams, a rising black comedian, once did a sketch on BET’s renowned comedy show ComicView. Williams compared a relationship to a football team, where the head coach is the woman and the quarterback is the man. Each party has a 50 percent interest in the success/or failure of the team.
As any sports reporter, like me, will tell you, the success of a football team always comes down to the relationship of the head coach and the quarterback. The team will not thrive if there is dissension in the ranks between the head coach and any star player, which is usually the quarterback.
Why do I bring this up?
Simple.
In life, I hate liars, cheaters and thieves but somewhere on the second tier of people I despise are head coaches that can’t make a game time decision (a.k.a. also known as the indecisive woman syndrome). A game time decision is a choice that has to be made with the clocking ticking down and the game (in this case the relationship) on the line.
Hence, the MANLAW.
Fellas beware of the head coach that routinely fails at making game-time decisions before the clock runs out. If she can’t make up her mind when it is time you need to run fast, run far and run like Forrest Gump until she’s no longer viewable in the rearview mirror.
I have always measured the character of a head coach based on how that coach handled adversity. Any coach can make a decision when they have a billion options and things are going smoothly, but a true coach that I would play my ass for is a coach that I can trust in the clutch.
What happens when a head coach continually fails with clock management? The quarterback loses confidence in their head coach and starts calling his own audibles at the line of scrimmage. Very soon, the quarterback and the head coach are getting into a highly visible spat on the sideline. The relationship goes down hill from there and soon you have an avalanche in which only ownership can stop with a decision about which party do you keep, the head coach or the quarterback?
As the cliché goes, if you don’t know your history you are doomed to repeat it. In about 80 percent of the cases, ownership sides with the player. Fellas remember this manlaw the next time you have a head coach that is playing not to lose rather than playing to win the game.
As any sports reporter, like me, will tell you, the success of a football team always comes down to the relationship of the head coach and the quarterback. The team will not thrive if there is dissension in the ranks between the head coach and any star player, which is usually the quarterback.
Why do I bring this up?
Simple.
In life, I hate liars, cheaters and thieves but somewhere on the second tier of people I despise are head coaches that can’t make a game time decision (a.k.a. also known as the indecisive woman syndrome). A game time decision is a choice that has to be made with the clocking ticking down and the game (in this case the relationship) on the line.
Hence, the MANLAW.
Fellas beware of the head coach that routinely fails at making game-time decisions before the clock runs out. If she can’t make up her mind when it is time you need to run fast, run far and run like Forrest Gump until she’s no longer viewable in the rearview mirror.
I have always measured the character of a head coach based on how that coach handled adversity. Any coach can make a decision when they have a billion options and things are going smoothly, but a true coach that I would play my ass for is a coach that I can trust in the clutch.
What happens when a head coach continually fails with clock management? The quarterback loses confidence in their head coach and starts calling his own audibles at the line of scrimmage. Very soon, the quarterback and the head coach are getting into a highly visible spat on the sideline. The relationship goes down hill from there and soon you have an avalanche in which only ownership can stop with a decision about which party do you keep, the head coach or the quarterback?
As the cliché goes, if you don’t know your history you are doomed to repeat it. In about 80 percent of the cases, ownership sides with the player. Fellas remember this manlaw the next time you have a head coach that is playing not to lose rather than playing to win the game.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Ladies...The Truth Hurts!
So I came across a real thought provoking email from this brother, who will remain nameless.
(written by a brother)
Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch. Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home". Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us Black Males do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a Black Woman takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally. Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black Women have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying.... SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TOA MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODYIF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT. BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that." No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies. "Just take me as I am or have nothing @ all...."
MANLAW: Just tell the truth and be really honest with yourselves. Remember, the blame should first start with you.
(written by a brother)
Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch. Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home". Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us Black Males do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a Black Woman takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally. Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black Women have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying.... SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TOA MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODYIF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT. BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that." No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies. "Just take me as I am or have nothing @ all...."
MANLAW: Just tell the truth and be really honest with yourselves. Remember, the blame should first start with you.
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