Monday, March 26, 2007
Wow
Every once in a while, we come across something that just speaks for itself. Today was one of those days.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Six orgasms in 24 minutes...(or "Damn, we really do have to talk to them?")
The medical researcher who discovered women's "g-spots" is out with a new book that says women's brains are the most important organ in achieving orgasm, and not any physical part of the body.
The book is about, simply "The science of orgasm", but in one particularly interesting chapter, she details how some women with spinal injuries could actually relearn how to, well, get off -- in one case to the tune of six (count 'em: six) in a 24 minute span.
I don't know about y'all, but as successful as I like to think I am in the bedroom, six in 24 minutes? The hell kinda hairpin trigger she got? And not for nothing, don't think we men don't understand what this researcher is really trying to accomplish: all of a sudden there's a branch of science "proving" that stimulating a woman's brain really IS the key to everything else. Right, how convenient it is that now there's a way to definitively link actually having to have a conversation with your wife or girlfriend to how well things go later on when you're trying to do anything but talk.
Keep your book, lady.
The book is about, simply "The science of orgasm", but in one particularly interesting chapter, she details how some women with spinal injuries could actually relearn how to, well, get off -- in one case to the tune of six (count 'em: six) in a 24 minute span.
I don't know about y'all, but as successful as I like to think I am in the bedroom, six in 24 minutes? The hell kinda hairpin trigger she got? And not for nothing, don't think we men don't understand what this researcher is really trying to accomplish: all of a sudden there's a branch of science "proving" that stimulating a woman's brain really IS the key to everything else. Right, how convenient it is that now there's a way to definitively link actually having to have a conversation with your wife or girlfriend to how well things go later on when you're trying to do anything but talk.
Keep your book, lady.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Condoms, maybe?
File this under "triflin'". According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, a man went to court recently on a theft charge and admitted before a judge that he has six kids -- on the way, that is. That's right. Not six kids already. Not five and one coming. Not even four with twins in the oven.
No, this man -- and ever so loosely do I use the term -- said in open court, prior to his lawyer shutting him up, that he has six different women knocked simultaneously. Surprisingly enough, the cat wasn't even in court for custody or child support. His crime, according to the story, was running a scheme most crooks would know as playing the float. Basically, what you do is make a false deposit at an ATM machine, using an empty envelope, then immediately withdraw the cash back from the account. Because it takes a deposit a certain amount of time to clear, you're off scott free with the cash that you've "floated" yourself, at least until the bank catches its mistake.
I refuse to believe this man was stupid, despite the six kids thing (that's a big exception, I know). For one, a float hustle isn't one for the faint of heart or slight of brain. It takes sense to figure out how to make it work. Beyond that, dude had already made restitution for what he stole, a sign he was smart enough to get ahead of the system and at least try to win himself leniency. As it stands, he took a guilty verdict and walked with not a day behind bars. Last, the story says he produces music and that just got a deal worth at least 300 grand in up-front cash. This is no fool, more like a hustler, and not necessarily of the two-bit variety.
But what doesn't make sense to me is what respectable hustler would set himself up for a trap as big as having six kids by six different babymommas? Seriously, nothing in life could be worse than that, including jail. A man with as many schemes as he had should have been able to figure out a real easy solution to this problem: hit up the Trojan aisle, homie. Trojans ain't never hurt nobody.
No, this man -- and ever so loosely do I use the term -- said in open court, prior to his lawyer shutting him up, that he has six different women knocked simultaneously. Surprisingly enough, the cat wasn't even in court for custody or child support. His crime, according to the story, was running a scheme most crooks would know as playing the float. Basically, what you do is make a false deposit at an ATM machine, using an empty envelope, then immediately withdraw the cash back from the account. Because it takes a deposit a certain amount of time to clear, you're off scott free with the cash that you've "floated" yourself, at least until the bank catches its mistake.
I refuse to believe this man was stupid, despite the six kids thing (that's a big exception, I know). For one, a float hustle isn't one for the faint of heart or slight of brain. It takes sense to figure out how to make it work. Beyond that, dude had already made restitution for what he stole, a sign he was smart enough to get ahead of the system and at least try to win himself leniency. As it stands, he took a guilty verdict and walked with not a day behind bars. Last, the story says he produces music and that just got a deal worth at least 300 grand in up-front cash. This is no fool, more like a hustler, and not necessarily of the two-bit variety.
But what doesn't make sense to me is what respectable hustler would set himself up for a trap as big as having six kids by six different babymommas? Seriously, nothing in life could be worse than that, including jail. A man with as many schemes as he had should have been able to figure out a real easy solution to this problem: hit up the Trojan aisle, homie. Trojans ain't never hurt nobody.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
We want prenup, we want prenup!
They say stupid is as stupid does, but maybe stupid is as stupid doesn't do.
In this case, stupid is a professional athlete, and what stupid didn't do was get a prenuptial agreement before he tied the knot. Amani Toomer, the New York Giants wide receiver, got divorced yesterday, and avoided what was expected to be a nasty court battle. Good for him, kinda.
The problem is that while he didn't have to go through the hassle of a trial, an annulment, not a divorce, is what he wanted. See, Toomer claimed that his wife was frigid, wouldn't have his babies, had at least four abortions without his knowledge and was generally a basket case after they'd agreed on having a big, happy family before they got married. In Vegas, no less.
His estranged countered that he was unreasonably demanding for sex (because we know how notorious those football players are for their low sex drives. B, please), and that he was holding back her career as a chiropractor and her aspirations to become a lawyer.
My guess is there's probably some truth to both of their claims, but that's beside the point. The real devil in the details here is that the unstated reason Toomer wanted an annulment, rather than a divorce, was to protect his assets. An annulment entitles the ex to little to nothing; in a divorce proceeding, she can get (and she had asked the court for) HALF. I personally will never understand what it is that makes women, men or anyone else feel entitled to half of the assets that they didn't help to build -- last time I checked, I never saw his wife on the field blocking for him -- but again, that's beside the point. At the end of the day, a prenuptial agreement, which doesn't seem to have been in place here, could have prevented all the drama. Outline, in writing, the terms under which both of you are comfortable parting, as well as your expectations for marriage, and you're straight. Never for the life of me will I understand why anyone getting married, pro athletes first among them, doesn't carry one around in their back pocket.
How hard can that be?
In this case, stupid is a professional athlete, and what stupid didn't do was get a prenuptial agreement before he tied the knot. Amani Toomer, the New York Giants wide receiver, got divorced yesterday, and avoided what was expected to be a nasty court battle. Good for him, kinda.
The problem is that while he didn't have to go through the hassle of a trial, an annulment, not a divorce, is what he wanted. See, Toomer claimed that his wife was frigid, wouldn't have his babies, had at least four abortions without his knowledge and was generally a basket case after they'd agreed on having a big, happy family before they got married. In Vegas, no less.
His estranged countered that he was unreasonably demanding for sex (because we know how notorious those football players are for their low sex drives. B, please), and that he was holding back her career as a chiropractor and her aspirations to become a lawyer.
My guess is there's probably some truth to both of their claims, but that's beside the point. The real devil in the details here is that the unstated reason Toomer wanted an annulment, rather than a divorce, was to protect his assets. An annulment entitles the ex to little to nothing; in a divorce proceeding, she can get (and she had asked the court for) HALF. I personally will never understand what it is that makes women, men or anyone else feel entitled to half of the assets that they didn't help to build -- last time I checked, I never saw his wife on the field blocking for him -- but again, that's beside the point. At the end of the day, a prenuptial agreement, which doesn't seem to have been in place here, could have prevented all the drama. Outline, in writing, the terms under which both of you are comfortable parting, as well as your expectations for marriage, and you're straight. Never for the life of me will I understand why anyone getting married, pro athletes first among them, doesn't carry one around in their back pocket.
How hard can that be?
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