I saw the following passage about a guy posted on a message board. Funny story and a lesson for the ladies out there.
-- MY DATE LAST NIGHT ---
When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan. Now don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I came away from the date feeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!
In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and ev en I was surprised that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that right- 5%! One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all this evidence I knew I had to change some things. So, this year.....
I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a credit card and ask them to open tabs for us. HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you know the Mastercard "priceless" serie s of commercials? Well, let me tell you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food (that they would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing to encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause SHE'S PAYING.
Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination of both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which brings me to my date last night...... omg.....
Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested w asn't good enough for her. Nah...she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson? Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar. Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the 'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me tell you - the girl i was with could really throw down the drinks. She was drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I encouraged her the whole way. She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever try it?' She's like....'Nooooooo!!!' I'm like, 'go on....just get some'. She's like 'are you sure'. I'm like, 'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she ordered one, then another, and finally one more..... wow she was probably more than a little drunk. I stuck to my Stoli and a splash of Cran.
When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5 drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli, but overall still a good value (i ate a ton of free macadamias and almond ds) $36.00. Damn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the restroom. I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date was heading out toward the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave - without paying!
Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor waitress standing just inside the front door with a small coctail tray. she did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn' t help wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that shit is expensive? Then I wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local Irish pub.
I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too...
Hence the manlaw: The ladies will get mad because it was a situation where a woman tried to get over on a guy and got PLAYED herself. The telling sign was the walk or sprint of shame to the door, when she she knew damn well she didn't have any cash or the means to pay for the outrageous stuff SHE ordered.
Who the fawk goes out (male or female) and doesn't have ANY MONEY or at least a credit card on them in case of emergency? And if you know you don't have any loot, why are you ordering enough grub and drank to feed an army? That's a terrible upbringing if she was told that a child and even worst if this was reinforced as a young adult.
It tells me she wasn't interested in getting to know the guy, or anyone for that matter, at all...it was all about her "getting something" out of it. What if he walked out on her and left her sitting at the table? What would she have done then? Has dating really deteriorated to this? Do women really calculate in their mind "how much they can squeeze out of a guy on a date?" This gimme mentality has to go...in 2009.
Bottom line.
1) You never assume anything.
2) You always let someone order for themselves.
3) If you don't have MONEY and this goes to ladies too...stay home. Or if you really want to go out, state that you have no money before we agree on plans.
Personally, there wouldn't have been a date if she tried to run this scam on me. The second she mentioned something that was 180 degrees different than what I suggested, it would have been a wrap for me.
8 comments:
Happy New Year SPChrist!
"there is no knowing what they may expect...the question is, what can you afford...?"
OK Niceties aside, there is so much I could say about this scenario, but essentially the author and his date are both dead wrong, and I am glad I don't drink.
If you invite me I expect youto pay. 1st, 5th, 10th date whatever. That said, I do come prepared to take care of myself in case you lose your mind (i.e. wallet) during dinner and my treat is not explicitly stated.
While I appreciate this man's desire to be more cost prehibitive in his search for love? regular sex? He needs to decide what he is looking to get out of dating and find a better method to get to know these women. If you're not paying for the first date, with most ladies, you will not get a 2nd, let alone booty from a hoe. There is nothing courteous let alone chivalrous about his actions. From jump he has already insulted the woman by assuming she is trying to take advantage of him, and could not have gotten anything else out of the date as he enjoys goating her into to raking up a tab. He will never find what he's looking for playing that game. How many 2nd dates in the last 3 months has he had? Why not just tell a woman upfront you need to go dutch?
(we already know the answer to that)
@Athena Nike...(cracks knuckles).
5th and 10th date? Holy sheet. Who are these dudes you stringing along that much? LMAO. The most you are getting out of me is 3 dates that I will pay for. Afte that, you need to contribute if you have interest in me...otherwise we part ways.
Dating isn't a one-way street and that's where MANY women have it wrong.
Now, while comical, his method to expose her was a bit extreme and probably something I wouldn't have done. Nevertheless, she is still responsible for her own actions and ORDERING THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND LIQUOR YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT is unexuseable. She was an opportunist and as they say on the Wire. "She needed to get got." And she got hers and probably ended up in a jail cell.
No. 1. I don't know how you missed this since you are a woman. You don't get drunk on a first date. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. She put herself in harm's way...and she's lucky he was only out for some harmless fun.
No. 2. Chivalry is dead. And it is women like the one mention in this story that killed it. Ordering $300 plus worth of food and drinks (on a first date my you) is clearly taking advantage of the system. And you better believe if he wasn't out for some harmless fun, "he's expecting a return on his investment and pretty quickly for that matter." Is that a situation you really want to put yourself into? Just like someone trying to give you an extravagant gift you know damn well know you don't deserve...you JUST SAY NO. I can tell she isn't bright either because the second he's egging her on to gorge herself a light bulb should have gone off. Am I being set up? And that's when she should have exhibited some self-control and know when to say enough.
WOW -- this is a crazy dating story. Chick was crazy to get drunk and order $300+ worth of food/drinks -- that bill is more than what I'd pay for groceries in a month -- and to ask anyone to pay that amount of money for a one night date is insane. In addition, she should have NOT tried to skip out on the bill she created. That demonstrates she has no integrity. Dude should NOT have encouraged her to order whatever she liked and not tell her she was paying for it before the date. Yet, it's inconsiderate to order every item on the menu. Yes, it's nice to "assume" a man will pay for something he invites me too but eventually, if I'm interested in seeing this guy -- I will have to come out of pocket and buy something. Its an honor to be taken out to dinner and have my meal purchased -- not a "unalienable" right. The bad economy effects everyone so I can be considerate of his wallet. Momma taught me to only order whatever I could pay for (to prevent scenarios like the one we've read about from happening) and to NEVER leave home without money. I may not always have cash -- but I've got access to it or awesome friends who will come to my rescue if needed.
LMAO...if that is the type of women he is attracting, instead of changing dating tactics, perhaps he should try a different caliber of woman!
I don't pay for first dates. If I do, trust there will NOT be a second. BUT I prefer low key events versus big budget extravaganzas. I'm much more impressed with a man who can find something budget friendly in Manhattan than the one who wants to go to the most expensive restaurant he knows.
Every woman isn't looking for a come up or a free meal.
Both of these characters were tacky, tacky, tacky; but I believe him more so because the farce of date was premeditated to embarass her, he just did not know it'd be at the $300 level.
I hate this tacky broad tried to tip toe out on the check. A real woman would've picked up a new man on the way to the restroom who could handle the tab, or at least been candy on my arm when I paid my $300 and thanked the other for his time. I hate a gold digger/usurpers as much as the next man, they give good women a bad name. That said, I don't believe that gives men the right to act in a way unbecoming a gentleman - that is just my opinion. If you can't always take the high road, that's you. If chivalry is dead, then all the real men are dead, and these are perilous times for a woman.
@Cain...I like the way you think.
@DollFace...."I don't pay for first dates. If I do, trust there will NOT be a second."
lmao...So, you will not even pick up the tip? I tend not to do the dinner thing for a first date anymore. It is too cliché.
@Athena..."A real woman would've picked up a new man on the way to the restroom who could handle the tab, or at least been candy on my arm when I paid my $300 and thanked the other for his time."
You are hilarious. I guess women aren't as independent as they say they are. hmm...
"If chivalry is dead, then all the real men are dead, and these are perilous times for a woman."
Like I said before chivalry is "six feet under" and women like Ms. Johnny Walker piled the dirt on the casket. May the system rest in peace. No guy writes a blank check anymore and if he does...HE'S STUPID! A real man asks the right questions to see if she's really interested in getting to know him before he goes out on a date with her. He obviously didn't do his research for this examination and she obviously tried to wing it without her VISA.
I hate to be rude, but I am not paying on the first date. I do not know you from Adam or Eve and you trying to get my money. Forget that. I am glad I have a gf. There would be some broken hearts
This is why I pick up girls at college bars.
@Epsilonicus...ahh...A girlfriend would be nice these days...because I'm really tired of the dating scene. Nobody has geninue intentions anymore.
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