Doug Williams, a rising black comedian, once did a sketch on BET’s renowned comedy show ComicView. Williams compared a relationship to a football team, where the head coach is the woman and the quarterback is the man. Each party has a 50 percent interest in the success/or failure of the team.
As any sports reporter, like me, will tell you, the success of a football team always comes down to the relationship of the head coach and the quarterback. The team will not thrive if there is dissension in the ranks between the head coach and any star player, which is usually the quarterback.
Why do I bring this up?
Simple.
In life, I hate liars, cheaters and thieves but somewhere on the second tier of people I despise are head coaches that can’t make a game time decision (a.k.a. also known as the indecisive woman syndrome). A game time decision is a choice that has to be made with the clocking ticking down and the game (in this case the relationship) on the line.
Hence, the MANLAW.
Fellas beware of the head coach that routinely fails at making game-time decisions before the clock runs out. If she can’t make up her mind when it is time you need to run fast, run far and run like Forrest Gump until she’s no longer viewable in the rearview mirror.
I have always measured the character of a head coach based on how that coach handled adversity. Any coach can make a decision when they have a billion options and things are going smoothly, but a true coach that I would play my ass for is a coach that I can trust in the clutch.
What happens when a head coach continually fails with clock management? The quarterback loses confidence in their head coach and starts calling his own audibles at the line of scrimmage. Very soon, the quarterback and the head coach are getting into a highly visible spat on the sideline. The relationship goes down hill from there and soon you have an avalanche in which only ownership can stop with a decision about which party do you keep, the head coach or the quarterback?
As the cliché goes, if you don’t know your history you are doomed to repeat it. In about 80 percent of the cases, ownership sides with the player. Fellas remember this manlaw the next time you have a head coach that is playing not to lose rather than playing to win the game.
17 comments:
what dude is letting someone else coach his team anyway?
blame the owner for hiring a head coach who can't come through in the clutch. hell, at the very least blame the general manager...*ahem* matt millen *ahem*
in other words, the interview process should have been extensive enough to include 'what if' scenarios so that the front office knew the kind of cat they were hiring...
for example, if ownership knows they're gonna draft a running quarterback, they don't need to hire dan reeves cuz he hates those kinds of guys. if they've got a team full of vets, don't hire steve spurrier, a cat who gets off on intimidating people to perform. that ish don't work in the pros with grown men.
avoid disaster by drafting a quarterback that fits the head coach's system or making sure you've got a coach who can adapt his game plan to best utilize the quarterback's skills.
Ooooh great analogy. More often than not the best relationships between head coaches and quarterbacks come from those which have weathered a lil friction. And isn't that true of romantic relationships? And Lord knows I hate an indecisive anyone but especially women. At least if men are feeling indecisive they push themselves to come to a decision. Why must women poll ALL their friends for their opinions before making a decision? Friends who, by the way, are probably lacking the same understanding that they can't attain. Anyway, off track. Dead on analogy.
Oh this can be applied in the reverse. Two minutes left in the game....the game is on the line...can your quarterback come through in the clutch? There are just as many indecisive men that when the going gets tough this man fumbles the ball. You could be the best coach in the world but if you can't rely on your quarterback to produce winning plays, it's time to cut him from your team.
Offense wins games. Defense wins championships. Read: people need to be proactive so it doesn't come down to the wire in the first place. THAT is typically where men fail, which is what will bring women to the decisive moment of "sh*t or get off the pot". And, I must say, I've met a huge number of indecisive "head coaches", ones that for whatever reason have not been through enough sh*t in their careers to know the true clutch players when they see them. The ones that carry so much baggage he can't see over the pile to know what the hell it is he needs for his team to be in it to win it long-term. Free agency is a muhf*cka; and, everone is replaceable. :-)
damn, i realize i didn't add my connection to your analogy...
in other words, make sure you do enough work and get a good idea of the person before you just hand your team over to them and be like "handle this".
Loving the analogy. And, I agree with your point.
Great post, Sherlon. The analogy is so on point it's not even funny.
Great post. What I'll say in respone to some of the comments is things at some point in time will come down to the wire. Meaning it's not what happens, it's how you react. You never really know how a coach handles things until that time comes. Every sounds like they have a plan when you have a winning record.
LMAO @ this post. I tend to agree with it but I'm always amused at how men can turn every life situation into a sports-related analogy.
@nikki...as clearly stated a relationship is a partnership...or at least successful ones that I've seen. Also, I'm talking about when you "hire" the right coach on paper and later find out that coach falsified their resume...
@Mystifiedlady....Yeah....you could see it that way. Too often, men are called on the carpet for not standing up and being somebody. This time, I'm shining the spotlight on some of your female species.
@Amadeo.....Amen...Amen...Amen
@the mistress...lol. Well I can't help it.
spchrist...
there might be a 50 percent interest in the success/or failure of the team, but the quarterback usually isn't the one to call his own plays (unless he's peyton manning), so the unequal power distribution of such a partnership doesn't make for a successful venture in my mind.
to make the power 50/50 the quarterback is then burdened with the responsibility of proving to the coach he can call his own plays, but based upon the designated roles as established by the partnership, the coach creates the strategy and calls the plays. all the quarterback is responsible for is executing.
so unless you're saying that all a brotha gotta do in a relationship is show up and do what the female says, the analogy is only partly applicable to relationship imo.
The analogy does work, but it also validates something I have come to discover over the years...brothas can not think on their feet.
Working 50/50 is definitely the way to go for the most part, but there are times when some one has to take the lead. Each has the benefit of a different perspective to take advantage of. Utilizing whomevers is more expedient is part of the 50/50, when you know when a situation calls for one to be 70/30 or 20/80.
You practice and plan all week, plays are perfect on paper - but you can never really figure what the opposition will bring, and when faced with a challenge and a clock in play, brothers drop the ball, often.
And how do you feel about the decisive coachs whose play opinions are definitive. Do you go out and make your own play, or switch teams to one that is more your style?
addendum:
I really, really, really try not to generalize on men & women, I am commenting on specific experiences. Yet, I feel most of my comment is applicable to the discussion....
Love the analogy SP, but the reality of that situation makes me turn to one of the best Maxwell songs no not the babymaker "This Woman's Work", but "Let's Not Play the Game".
waiver wire! i'll stick to fantasy football until '07!
Makes sense, Mr. C. Indecisiveness, whether in a relationionship or not makes solitaire mad.
(Yeah, I just talked in the 3rd person, ha!)
Thanks for your comments.
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