Brothers,
Let’s take a second and thank God for making us men. As I move through my day, I see many different people and many different things. While we men are definitely the less attractive of the two sexes, I’m quite okay with that. As a sacrifice we have been able to retain a good grasp on logic except when we are angry or horny. Aside from that we are simple beings. Rather than go on and on about how men are, let me list a few reasons that make me question the logic of women.
1. The menstrual cycle. We all know women are completely incapable of logic during this time. There are 52 weeks in a year, and if you’re lucky a woman is sane for 40 of those. (I know it’s a blessing to give birth ! You go a head and keep that blessing, I’ll get in where I fit in – pun intended)
2. Footwear. Now I know damn well no logical person would walk around on there tippie-toes all damn day on any damn day no matter how good it makes their calves and ass look. Let me not fail to mention shoes that jam all of your toes together or worst of all, shoes where the pinky toe is not even on the sole. What’s up with that ? Did the pinky toe do something wrong ?
3. This one might set you back a lil. Bras. I was riding home on the train and I was noticing the difference between women’s endowments. As I noticed size, shapes, and elasticity, I wondered who came up with the bra ? I looked for the logic behind it. Was it for safety ? comfort ? And as the woman across from me dug at her strap and the strip of sweat that was forming underneath, I knew it wasn’t comfort. Then, if it’s for the look, I saw quite a few men on the same train that could have benefited from a push up (pun intended). What logical purpose does it serve ?
4. Make-Up. I’m a fan of the au-natural. I don’t mind a lil make up, some color on the cheeks. But damn, If I had to put on lipstick (I hate lipstick), lengthen my eyelashes, eye liner, eye brows, foundation, etcetera-etcetera !
Add the fact that I have yet to meet a woman that can hook up a surround sound component system. Or master any complex electrical unit. Don’t let this detract from a woman’s God given beauty, power, and other gifts. But some of the things women do on a daily basis are in the words of Mr. Spock of the planet Vulcan “illogical”.
Now ladies, do what you do, just know why I wonder about your mental stability.
On behalf of the brothers let’s send the women a big K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sistas)
And to the fellas, if there are any other issues regarding logic, please share.
29 comments:
which one of the brothers are you talking about?
I think bras are to hide our nipples from when they get hard....
Oh i can change a tire!!!!And i watch football...
I'm with NP on the bras thing. LOL I can change a tire. I watch football. And, I can set up electrical component systems at the crib (although Tivo has eluded me). I can even sand, prime and paint the crib. And, now that my skin is back to normal, I'm back to only wearing lip-gloss and sometimes mascara. :-) I was JUST watching some girl put on that pancake sh*t on her face this morning ON THE TRAIN! *shaking head*
Are you FCUKing serious! Most times I read this blog my senses are reeling. Let me break it down for you Bruh Man.
I guess the reason why you have a limited understanding of this topic is because you are man and you occupy a position of privilege which for the most part makes you incapable of realising chit cos you are an oppresser -- (like white people who truly believe racism is a thing of the past -- or the other white folks who don't give a chit beacuse any change would affect their white privilige). Get it?
Didn't think so.
Now Male Patriarchy and dumb bitches is why this happens. In order for women to function in this society and utilize all the benefits conferred upon them as women, they need to look a certain way. HOT!
Shoes can be torture instruments. and yes during a woman's daily make-up ritual, on average she will expose herself to more than 200 synthetic chemicals before she has morning coffee. Regular lipstick wearers will ingest up to four and a half kilos during their lifetime.
A woman's appearance affects her job opportunites, the calibre men she dates and the man she marries. No Bruh wants to be an ugly bitch or a bitch that is not vsually pleasing or who does not confer some prestiege to their public persona.
Considering we live in a society where a woman is an extention of a man, men with power get the best woman their money can buy and she ain't au natural...more often than not she ain't black! (another rant at another time) If she is, she paper bag brown. Au natural don't cut it. Sorry.
And those au natural ladies aren't even that natural they are just as smart as made up ladies -- they just conceal any defects really well and the key is invisibility. It is possible you may not even know the difference!
Bras, dude? Lesson one. When you are at least a C cup you need some help strapping them up cos they hurt. If you think about all the walking or running you have to do, I ain't trying to get knocked out.
Periods -- I'll give you that one. It is what it is.
(sp?)aplogies, my nail extentions hit a few of the wrong keys.
The fear of things that are lower on the food chain. I've been requested to remove dead mice or kill insects from the homes of several females. Women who would challenge a grown man, run a company and go through hours of labor, afraid of something a primitive man would only pay attention to when real food is scarce. My rule: if it's small enough to catch and eat I only show fear if it has enough poison to change me lifestyle for the worse.
I walked into my bathroom at 1:30am the other morning to find "Jerry" scuttering behind my commode between the sink and tub. After shreking a couple of times high enough to compete with Mariah Carey, and almost doing a Micheal Jordan leap on to the toilet lid because my feet were bare and I was afraid it might touch me, I had a revelation.... YOU are the only one here, it's 1:30am and no one is coming to help you and you have to be up in another 6 hrs. As quick as all that runs thru my mind I grab the plunger as "Jerry" makes a break for the bathroom door - OH NO! SOP!
I am woman, hear me roar!
Now, I'll just need to have maintenance come get this dead mouse out in the morning...
LOL @ Gooder's last line...LOL!
She made a lot of good points. You men are mystified by what we go through, but you never once say thank you for going through it.
No periods: No kids
No Bra: Ta-Ta's may end up on the floor in the long run.
Men love for us to wear heels. Some even try to get us to wear them with lingerie. Same thing with make-up. Not one man can say they don't love to see a woman with some lipgloss, mascara and a little bronzer for affect. Don't get me wrong, some women over it do it!
Keep it real: You men love us and everything we do...be it logical or not.
Nice blog, bros. SPchrist, GLee, where y'all been hiding this spot?
Seriously though, this string of comments makes me glad I got married last summer.
Wifey and I are stuck w/each other, so to speak, so it don't matter how glad each of us is to be man/woman.
We gotta do what we gotta do to get along.
WHEW Its getting HOT In here.....
take off all your clothes
lol @ james burnett....thanks for visiting.
lol @ gooders girl...I'm glad you like me (or at least I think you do)...because I would have to check you for sharp objects...next time we meet.
Ya'll about to get me fired at work for laughing so hard at my desk.
You have had just about enough of me? oooooooohhh!
What you gonna do spank me?
Show me your words and I'll tell you who you are. And every time you write some chit. Ima tell you about it.
Re: Coward.
You said sometimes you sit the game out -- bench warmer -- means you ain't good enough to play or you lazy.
I can't sit the game out, cos i am always fighting/playing.
Re: Coming back as a white man
Hell yeah! cos then I would have the knowledge of a black woman and know what real power feels like AND control the struggle not just enjoy wallowing in it!
I would relish in being able to show some of you Bruhs the triple pronged oppression black women live under in this society. White Man, Black Man, White Woman.....
Then perhaps you would understand how black, male and retarded it is to 'sit the game out' when you should be uniting in the 'real fight' -- to end oppression -- sexist and racist domination but alas, sexist domination works for y'all...but racism doesn't.
Be sick of me Brother Man. I am here to stay.
I send Hugs and Kisses and urge you not to stay a Black retarded Male.
I like you Brother Man. I do understand at this satge if the feeling is not mutual.
Revolution!!!!!
Oh wow. I almost don't wanna comment. lol
I agree with most of what was said. But I woulda liked a disclaimer. I, like a couple of women who've comment, know how to change my own tires, replace my brakes, I drywall, paint, wire, and build things for my house, Ikill my own bugs, and I'd rather watch a football game on the couch than than go shopping any day. For the most part I wear very little makeup, but I am addicted to my stiletos... mostly b/c I'm 5 ft 2 and I hate coming up to regular sized people's chest/stomach area.
There are many women who cake on the makeup, wear shoes when they're uncomfortable (to a sporting event nonetheless which is a pet peeve of mine), who wear being a woman like its a handicap or a right to be helpless and whiny. But many of those women are told that they have to be that way to get and keep a man. I know I was, I just chose to rebel.
Bras are entirely fucntional. Bras to us are like have boxers or briefs that give your just enough support so you aren't all over the place all day. LOL I don't mind bras so much. Now pantyhose... that's a TOTALLY different torture mechanism lol
I need my bra cause my tatas will be everywhere but in my shirt...
I don't need makeup, I wear a lil when going out...
I wish I didn't have a menstral cycle, I hate it just as a man would...
Shoes, I like comfortable shoes...there are some comfortable heels, if they're not, I'm not wearing them...
But I can hook up electronics....change tires, brakes, rotors, tune-ups...box, ...I was raised as a tomboy, but I also fon't want to need a man for anything other than a good lay...*lol*
So with that being said...I feel you are speaking of majority of women, but not all, there's always exceptions....
More illogical things women do:
They ask questions they already know the answer to.
They ask questions they don't want the answer to
They also expect that when something goes wrong, you are suppose to know as if you are psychic.
change conscious to 'con'.
knowledge - clearly not enough.
decent and respectful enough for ya?
Still sending hugs and kisses AND Riding High.
First let me say raised by a single black woman, shared the womb with a black woman, and love black women. Having said that, the most illogical thing I've known a woman to do
a) have a baby daddy that ain't significant in their own life, because paternity though a tie that binds, is not that tie that always keeps one anchored down
b) wear bad weave: if you are going to even go there make sure we atleast have to do the finger test and finger the hair (or get threatened when we attempt to), otherwise its a waste of your time
c) stay in a relationship that isn't working simply because....
d) relegated a good black man to permanent friend status, a damn shame
A "men" to all that! lol
before i get a post off...
hey, can one of y'all ladies who knows about brakes, engines and tires come holla at me cuz my shit is currently inoperable?
but anyway...
OK, men, i'mma give y'all a very valuable lesson here.
critiquing women's beauty rituals and calling them illogical is a no-no. ain't 'nary a one of y'all in here not a slave to a beyonce, a j-lo, a stacey dash, alicia keys, or a zoe saldana.
you do realize all those women wear bras, makeup, and high heels, right?
look, i ain't trying to critique your crossover, so don't holla at me about what i put on my face, in my hair, or on my tits. now, i don't wear makeup, got all my own hair -- although ain't nuthin wrong if you don't -- and believe going bra-less is only for those women who just came from up under the knife.
while you may ponder about why we (allegedly) can't put together a surround system...and i also have put up my own, and tivo, computer, etc ... it ain't like y'all don't do some illogical/nasty-ass shit. a few things to consider.
- if men are so freakin' logical, why'n'da fuc to half of yall don't know how to wipe ya ass thoroughly? now, most of my ladies up in here have had the frightening experience of doing the husband's or boyfriend's laundry only to discover those tell-tale STREAKS. i can't help my period, but some of y'all can help wiping ya ass properly.
- some of us can't rebuild an engine, but most of y'all can't do basic shit like feed yourself. can't boil water, but you can change oil. now tell me, which one of these skills helps you survive on a DAILY basis? and no, hot pockets do not count as cooking.
- and if i go in another's man bathroom that looks like area 51...it ain't logical to live in filth, as too many of my bruhs love to do.
- while you wonder why i'm wearing a bra, i'm wondering why so many of y'all don't regularly buy new underwear. i mean, for real, y'all boxers sometimes look like they've gone through afghanistan. bullet-holes e'erywhere.
men are simple. women are complex -- i prefer that to illogical, by the way. we're ying and yang. i'll teach you about hollandaise sauce, and you teach me about a serpentine belt. though in my case, i'll show you why peyton manning will never outsmart bill belichick's 3-4 defense in the playoffs and you can kill that spider for me of which i am deathly afraid.
like it or not, God set us up to be HELPmates to one another. so while you may question our rituals, know they are there for a reason.
Ok J, after I finished laughing my ass off, I applaud you dear. You made so man good points. That's how you should see if Con, you know two people with the same personality don't get along. So stop trying to understand it and roll with it. :)
back with vengeance, huh? this shT is comedy. lemme buy you a drink, duke.
Well, I guess this was a heated topic...too bad I missed it all when the sparks were actually flying rather than smoldering...But SPC, I feel you on your feelings. I'm an exception to what you imply, but it does not offentd me because I look at me fellow females and wonder what up with them sometimes to when it comes to teh things u mentioned...except for teh period...lol
Hmm...is it safe for me to comment here? I'll give it a whirl.
Menstrual cycles are optional these days. I rid myself of mine 10 years ago, and tons of women are following suit.
Anyhow, I liked your list but trust me, womanhood is THE SHIT! I hate to go here but it is you all who benefit from our presence in your lives the most. Scientific fact. Men who are married live 7 years longer than single men while married women only live 2 years longer than single women. You guys think you have tons of power but without us, your quality of life does not reach it's full potential. Sorry.
Still love ya'll like some play cousins though!
if men are so freakin' logical, why'n'da fuc to half of yall don't know how to wipe ya ass thoroughly? now, most of my ladies up in here have had the frightening experience of doing the husband's or boyfriend's laundry only to discover those tell-tale STREAKS. i can't help my period, but some of y'all can help wiping ya ass properly.
~~~~CCCCHHHHHHHHUCCCCCCHHHHHHHH~~~~
Can we say sexist? And narrow-minded? Condescending?
Maybe you should just keep your thoughts to yourself.
I put all my own electrical shit together. And yes, that includes a surround-sound system. I know more about cars and maintaining them than most of my male contemporaries. And if you buy good shoes that are the right size, they don't hurt. That's why Manolos exist, sweetie.
You're kidding me on the logic thing, right?
You're looking at a sista who watches football, has her own PS2, hauled a 27 inch tv into her apartment HERSELF, pays her bills and can hook up her own surround sound component system, THANKS.
I'll usually always defend an intelligent, level-headed brotherman but I can't do it in this instance. You DON'T get a pass from me.
a man created the bra. and likely created high heels too. and please believe if women walked around in flats, no make-up, and no bras every single day, there would be mutiny.
LMAO! C has started some sh*t! I think some folks are being entirely too sensitive. He's just commenting on a humororous observation. As a very self-confident woman, I can admit when I've allowed hormones to influence my reactions/choices in certain matters. I appreciate bras and the fact that they will delay gravity's hold on the DDs. If yours isn't comfortable, buy one that is. I wear high heels because I'm short and I like tall men. Big f'n deal. I don't wear them when I don't need to or feel like it. And yeah, I hate creepy sh*t like rodents and insects. But, that doesn't prevent me from handling business on my own and doing things I enjoy - like camping. If I have a man around and he wants me to do the cooking - that's fine. I enjoy cooking. Not like he can't do it himself (that's what hot pockets and frozen dinners are for). But, he better be willing to take out the trash and to handle rodent duty. COMPROMISE I can change tires, install electronic systems, swing a bat, play hockey (ice and field) and install lighting. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy basking in my femininity at times, either.
Cot dam...I was away from some time and our new blogger Con1 starts some -ish. I love it.
I will be the first to say I love women with bras on, high heels and their faces made up.
The other day I watched a friend get her face together. Do you know how long that took? Freaking 20 minutes.
I am so appreciative that I can get up for work late and it takes me less than 30 minutes to get ready.
So I appreciate what it takes for a woman to get it together. I don't have the time to do that. Hell I don't have the time to put on my contacts.
Now on the gender role things such as put together electronics, cutting grass, changing tires...If a woman can do that, big ups to them. If I can do it, then I hope they can...
But here is one thing I have an issue with. If I can burn in the kitchen (a lot of you guys have had my cooking) and a woman can't even boil water, then I have issues.
Ladies, keep putting on that maybeline, wearing pumps with that sexy Victoria's Secret gear and get that TIVO hooked up.
You got my vote.
Post a Comment