Brother's ManLaw

Sexting

2010-11-04T01:03:00.003-04:00

(Wikipedia) - The act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones.

(Urban Dictionary) - the act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having a sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit.

James Michael Evans, a former Bozeman (Montana) High track coach was accused of sending sexually explicit text and photo messages to female students.

Jenn Sterger, a former New York Jets employee, was a victim of sexting by former Jets quarterback Brett Favre, who now plays for the NFL. The matter is still under investigation by the NFL.

A police officer in Darke County Ohio was fired for violating the department's policy on "sexting."

Prince William County (Maryland) police have arrested a football coach at Stonewall Jackson High School, saying he sent lewd messages to a 16-year-old female student. Police said 42-year-old William Dignan sent numerous sexual messages to the girl by phone and by e-mail.

Every day it seems I hear one crazy story after another about someone "sexting" another person. You have high school coaches "sexting" teenage girls. NFL football players "sexting" female team employees. You have male police officers "sexting" on duty.

It is one thing if the person on the receiving end of the "sexting" welcomes it or even asks for it. However, it is another thing if men (there are probably a few women out there too guilty of this) are crossing the lines of decency daily by sending pictures of their "pipes" to unsuspecting females (and in some extreme cases teenage girls). It is just sick any way you slice it.

If this were done between two consenting adults I have no problem with it. The issue, and a legal one for that matter, is when someone is sending unsolicited sexually explicit photos of themselves to someone else. It is harassment and he/she shouldn't get away with it.

Off with her head...

2010-08-30T15:23:00.005-04:00

Joking. Sort of. But she deserves a severe punishment for what you'll read below.

28-year-old pop princess, Nadja Banaissa (shown), a member of a German pop group called "No Angels" said in court in Germany that she was “sorry” for not telling her sexual partners that she was HIV positive, although she was aware of her status. Apparently, she had unprotected sex with several men.

According to the charge sheet, she had unprotected sex on five occasions between 2000 and 2004 with three men and did not tell them she was infected. At least one of the three men, has been infected with HIV supposedly from Banaissa, but it hasn't been determined if he contracted it from her.

HIV and AIDS are no laughing matter and should be treated as such.

There should be a federal law about anyone KNOWINGLY having HIV and AIDS and going around having unprotected sex with people. I say starting with 15 years to life sentence for the what should be a federal crime in the U.S. I believe a few states have individual laws regarding this but I think this is a national matter.

I know critics are going to say well it takes two people to have sex and if the other person who doesn't have HIV or AIDS didn't insist on using protection then that's playing Russian Roulette with your life...along with several other side arguments you can claim.

But someone going around having unprotected sex with the virus shouldn't be dismissed either. Once someone is found guilty of doing this...there should be a HIV/AIDS registry set up similar to a sex-offender registry. I sure the ACLU would probably fight this....amongst other civil rights groups...but this is a matter of national security and the fight against HIV and AIDS.

Questions from the mailbag: Part 3

2010-08-15T20:59:00.002-04:00

Question from Dark & Lovely: Is there ever a time when a man should be expected to marry a woman?

Brother's Manlaw response: There is no official time table on it. Personally, I think after 2 years of dating, a man should know if he wants to marry a woman. Does that mean he will marry her before or after 2 years? No. But that's where the woman needs to stand up for herself and ask what does she want. If she's put in at least 2 good years and is in the safe child bearing age and wants kids and he isn't showing any signs of movement...she might want to consider dating other people. Men can be the biggest bullshitters on the planet and we'll have a woman on the hook for years or even decades if she lets us.

Letter To Black Women

2010-08-05T00:43:00.000-04:00

Dear Black Women,

Let me start of by saying this to you all: I love you and have so much respect for you all. I really do. The burdens you all carry are so great. You are definitely appreciated.

However, I have not been feeling the love from some of you. Lately, there seems to be a small, yet powerful and growing, movement of Black women who seem to hate/dislike or are disappointed in Black men. I have read so many articles,blogs and news reports about Black women saying Black men ain't sh*t/wont settle etc, Black men only like White women, Black men are less successful than Black women. It saddens me to see some of you say this. I feel the need to clarify and inform since many of these statements and feeling are inaccurate.

First, I will tackle the whole dating thing. I am hearing a lot from some Black women that "Men ain't sh*t" and all other variants of that. I feel that many of these women need to look in the mirror. One, quit trying to make someone into what you want instead of accepting them for who they are. Too many times we try to mold someone. It is not going to happen. Men give clear signals when they are not happy or don't want to commit. Pay attention, assess, then move on.. Secondly, that man might be a good man, just not the one for you. Incompatibility does not make someone a bad person, just a bad partner. Thirdly, many times we don't take the time to reflect on the damage we done. Many of the women who spew negativity need to take stock of the damage they have done; do some critical self-reflection. Take responsibility for the role you have play in the demise of your relationship.

The second issue I need to tackle is interracial dating. Black men are not "betraying" their race or Black women by dating outside their race. Black men do not "hate" Black women because they date outside their race. Let me tell you why some Black men date outside their race: numbers. Dating only Black women limits the pool. Expanding your pool to include women of other races expands the potential pool of mates. Quit reading your magazines, chatting with your girlfriends. They have the game all messed up. Black men love Black women. We really do. Dating outside the race does not mean we don't love you. We will still love and support Black women in any endeavors even if we date outside the race. Are some brothers self-loathers? Yes, but they are so few. It is not an epidemic of Black men who hate Black women. That is soooooooo wrong. So when you see a Black dude down the street with a woman of another color, don't hate. Be happy that he hopefully found someone and is able to create a happy and healthy relationship. Also, it takes more energy to be upset at that man than it is to find the right one for you.

Overall, I just want you all to know that I am worried. The movement of haters among Black women is growing. And if we hope to improve the condition of Black America, I need Black women to support the brothers. I need brothers to do the same.

Sincerely,

Epsilonicus

Buy you a drink?

2010-07-20T12:59:00.004-04:00

When did it become proper for a woman to ask a guy she doesn't know to buy her a drink?

Or worst...when did it become proper for a woman to demand a guy she doesn't know to buy her a drink?

Or even worst than both of those...when did it become proper for a woman you don't know to ask or demand you buy her and her girlfriend(s) drinks?

Are we to blame T-Pain for this because of his popular (but when you read the lyrics word for word...extremely silly) song "Buy You A Drink?

Or have women in general lost their damn minds?

I don't know where to point the blame. But there is one thing I know for certain. This epidemic isn't cute and it is something that needs to stop. If you as a woman are that darn thirsty, BUY YOURSELF A DRINK.

I was having this discussion with a male friend about our recent vacations and it happened to him while he was on vacation.

To paraphrase his response.

He said if he just met a woman at a club/bar/lounge or entertainment establishment and he's only been talking to a woman for five minutes, she shouldn't ask him to buy her a drink because he's going to say hell no. It doesn't matter how hot a woman looks. If he wants to buy her a drink, he'll offer and pay. No need to ask and damn sure no need to demand.

And if a woman is bold enough to ask/demand, his response is "I was just about to ask you (as a woman) to buy me a drink." That as he tells me, always ends the conversation for good. lol. I need to borrow that at some point in the future.

I couldn't agree with his policy more. But I have a variation to it.

Now, I'm a fairly generous person when it comes to being social. My number one reason for being in a club/bar/lounge or entertainment venue is to dance. I'm not a drinker. I don't profile. I'm there to break out a sweat on the dance floor. If a woman that I don't know dances with me for a while and I'm enjoying her company, it is my good nature to offer to buy her a drink.

Generally speaking, you have to engage me in something meaningful (a dance or a great conversation on something not superficial) to get a drink out of me, if I don't know you. Which begs me to ask another question, when did women lose the art of socializing? Just looking cute and sitting/standing around ISN'T enough and whoever told you it was should be forced to listen to Ashanti sing live for 24 hours straight.

So, ladies spread the word and make sure your girlfriends "don't ask and darn sure don't tell" any man to buy her a drink. Because more than likely if you do that, you'll probably end up with a dude that thinks he owns you after one drink.

Questions from the Mailbag: Part 2

2010-06-14T12:52:00.003-04:00

Question from Essence Cutie: Dear Man Law, I went through plenty of your blogs, and I didn't find this subject. Maybe I missed it. However, here it is. A lot of my friends are practicing celibacy in their relationships and they are happier than ever. I have strong feeling about it and it's worth considering. What are your views on this subject? How do your male friends feel about it. When is a good time to let him know, the beginning of the relationship or after a couple of dates?

Brother's Manlaw Response: Celibacy is not for every man or woman for that matter (AND IT CERTAINLY ISN'T FOR ME) and if I can speak for the majority of my male friends it isn't for them either. I might not want to have sex with you the first time I meet you but if there is a physical attraction and you have the personality to match the physical, I'm going to want to have sex with you at some point.

And if sex isn't on the table, it might be a deal breaker for me. I don't put a time frame on having sex with a woman and I can't stand women that have these silly 30, 60 or 90-day rules (yeah they read that silly chapter in Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady: Think Like A Man") because you can't put a time frame on sex. It never works. You have to go with your instincts to know when the moment is right or not. If you continue to make bad decisions on who to have sex with, then maybe you need to stop having sex altogether. But that's another blog topic for another day.

Now, if you are a woman and you believe in celibacy and it is a deal breaker for you then I think it is fair topic for discussion on Date 3 or after. Now, one more important thing on the celibacy issue. If you are going to claim you are celibate...you must STICK TO WHAT YOU SAY and you can't tease a man or go anywhere close to crossing that line. Because if you do that...eventually you will cross that line and you'll have nobody to blame but yourself.

Questions from the mailbag: Part 1

2010-06-11T11:09:00.005-04:00

Question from reader: I'm in a relationship with a "good" man but the sex is horrible! Should I continue to fake it? Am I at fault for my partner being a terrible lover? Is it true you are only as good as your lover?" Question via Anonymous.

Brother's Manlaw Response: Part 1 of answer: No. You shouldn't continue to fake it. The first and most important reason is that you are not getting satisfied and I'm afraid that is probably going to lead you to cheat if you haven't already. The second reason is he doesn't know that he isn't pleasing you and that isn't good for him either. I highly recommend you have a heart to heart with him and don't begin the conversation with the dreaded phrase "WE NEED TO TALK" because the majority of men shutdown emotionally when a woman says that. Right after the next time you have dinner you take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom and you tell him...to just listen and watch you as you please yourself. Remember men are visual creatures. After a few minutes of this...you take his hands and guide them to your sweet spots. You whisper in his ear and tell him how much it turns you on that the man you care about caresses these sweet spots each time. Suggestion and Part 2 of answer: After one tutorial session where you lay your cards on the table so to speak, you watch to see what he does the next time you make love. If he really cares about you, he was paying attention and took mental notes of what you did and tries to repeat them the next time. If he forgets something just take his hand and guide them to the spot and if you think he needs vocal support...whisper it in his ear. Now, if he doesn't make any improvements over the course of the next 2-4 times you make love and you don't think he'll ever improve or he seems not to care about your feelings...you've got a big decision to make. Sex is usually a big part of a successful relationship to some people and if you are someone that believes that...you'll have to pick one or the other. If you think you are going to cheat, I would suggest you break up with him before you do cheat and search for someone that can satisfy you in the bedroom as well as satisfy you outside of it. Part 3 of the answer: You are not at fault for your partner being a terrible lover because some people are just selfish lovers, or they don't pay attention to what they are doing and how someone responds to them in bed. No, it isn't true that you are only as good as your lover.

Women in the Workplace

2010-01-19T13:45:00.001-05:00

I found this article on the MSNBC.com website and found it interesting. I think it is accurate in some workplaces. I have asked several male and female friends who have worked in a variety of offices and they thought it was true too. I think women need to really think carefully about how they dress.

How Men Perceive Women's Work Behavior

Feel free to comment!

The reasons she's not the one

2010-01-07T02:49:00.005-05:00

She snores. During the night, she bellows out a loud-pitch, glass-shattering snore that makes it impossible for you to sleep for one second. SHE'S NOT THE ONE.

She admits she takes bad care of her car: Women treat just about all their material possessions with care. So, if you find a woman that claims she doesn't take care of a car she depends on everyday. SHE'S NOT THE ONE

She's late for everything. It doesn't matter the event (movies, dinner, concert, banquet, picking you up from the train station, etc..) she's going to be late and fashionably late at that. When she says 10 minutes, she really means 20. SHE'S NOT THE ONE.

She calls one of her male friends "her husband." If this doesn't have red flag written all over it...I don't know what else would. If you haven't hit it yet and she's throwing nicknames around like "my husband" to describe one of her male "friends," you are probably never going to hit it and should move on. She's keeping you on the bench for a reason. SHE'S NOT THE ONE.

She takes forever to comply with a simple request from you. If a woman cares about you, then she will not take forever to return a phone call, a text message or an e-mail with a request from you...whether it be urgent or not. SHE'S NOT THE ONE.

She doesn't offer you a drink or any food when you come to visit. You're visiting her place for the first time and she doesn't offer to feed you or give you something to drink. Meanwhile, she gets herself something to drink (a Heineken for that matter) and sits back on the couch like nothing is wrong with that picture. Now, the only exception to this scenario is if the visit leads to sex. SHE'S NOT THE ONE.

All The Black Single Ladies...Throw Your Hands Up

2009-12-29T03:24:00.002-05:00

The problem is...(as the video below will explain) there are too many black single women and not enough black single men. Steve Harvey gives his take in the video...and my thoughts are below the video.

1) This is going to be painful to hear. I don't believe everyone is meant to be married. There are some people based on their personality and their lifestyle that make them hard to be attached to someone.

2) This is also going to be painful to hear. Some people (men and women) have standards that are ridiculous. For example, if you are a woman that's like 5-3...demanding any dude you are interested in has to be 6-feet or over is ridiculous. Now, that was kind of an extreme example but there are people who have "this mythical" check list that need to take a lot of stuff on it...OFF!

3) Every black man and woman has to do their share of introducing a single black friend of the same sex to a single black friend of the opposite sex. No one is saying going into the matchmaking business (although that might be another solution) but don't pass up an opportunity to help a friend out...who you know deserves to be with someone that will love and appreciate them.

Where to meet womem

2009-12-19T04:12:00.002-05:00

O.K. Fellas.

You're single (and don't want to be) and you're looking for a woman. I go out often in New Jersey and New York City and sometimes in Philadelphia and here is what I've observed. There are too many of our beautiful women who are single and in most cases don't want to be.

It might be our fault. It might even be her fault. It could be both of our faults.

Something has to give.

Now, I can't promise you that she'll be single or even a woman that you would want to date...that's your homework assignment...should you choose to accept it.

I'll just point you in the right direction. I've listed these as they came into my brain and not in order of importance. You're welcome to agree or disagree with me.

1) Weddings

2) Broadway plays and musicals.

3) Concerts of any adult male singer.

4) Happy Hours/Afterwork events

5) Home Depot/Lowes (this was strongly suggested by some single female homeowners in the Philly but I'm not officially buying it. lol)

6) Library

7) Spoken Word events

8) Fundraisers for charities

9) Museums

10) Any department store that has a good female shoe section.

11) Bookstores

12) Community service events

12) Wine tastings

13) Political events

14) Birthday parties of your single female friends

Where to Meet Men

2009-12-02T04:39:00.008-05:00

O.K. Ladies.

You're single (and don't want to be). Don't shake your head...you know I'm talking the truth. Stop listening to your girlfriends and for once listen to a man that can tell you where to find men.

Now, I can't promise you that he'll be single or even a man that you want to date...that's your homework assignment...should you choose to accept it.

I'll just point you in the right direction. I listed these as they came into my brain and not in order of importance.

1) Happy Hours/After work events.
My professional male friends and I have made the transition to attending more happy hours and after work events than staying out late.The reason being...most of us have to go to work in the morning but we still want to socialize with the professional crowd. The drinks are cheap. The music is usually good. People tend to loosen up when alcohol is involved. Also, you'll more than likely catch him in his Sunday best...since he just got off of work, which theses days is a very good thing. Wear something cute...put on some of that good perfume (don't over do it)...sit near the bar or a television...and make sure to smile (I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH) at any guy you think is cute.

2) Library
Every woman should love an intelligent man and especially one that reads a lot or has an extensive vocabulary. A man that knows his way around the library should be a man that has the key to your heart. Women tend to read...a lot more...than men and it seems to me that women dominate every book club that I hear about. Wouldn't it be nice to find a man that reads as much as you do? And wouldn't it be nice to have a stimulating conversation with a man about the hottest books on the bestseller lists? I think it is time to update your library card and find a good seat near the entrance.

3) Ski Trips
A lot of men like sports. A lot of men go on ski trips. Now, before anyone jumps all over me...I know a lot of people don't actually ski on ski trips. It is about socializing and what better way to interact with men than in front of a fireplace on a cold winter day/night. Most ski trips usually involve a bus ride to and from the ski location and that's plenty of time to talk. If you see a cutie, sit near him on the bus ride and strike up a conversation. Don't wait too long though because women tend to outnumber guys on ski trips...so you want to get ahead of the competition...if you know what I mean.

4) Spoken Word Events
I don't know a woman that doesn't love a man who is a spoken word artist or a man that appreciates listening to good spoken word. It is such a relaxing activity and add in a glass of wine/or your favorite beverage and it is a can't miss type of evening. You're probably not going to find a lot of men at a spoken word event...so pay attention to any guy that does show up. If he has the courage to get on stage or pick up the microphone...then you should probably bump him up on your priority list. If he does perform, you'll get a chance to learn how his mind works (the clean and probably the dirty version). Women always want to know what men are thinking and he'll probably make that task easy for you. Wear something cute...put on some of that good perfume (don't over do it)...sit near the front or near the entrance...and if you are a spoken word artist yourself...get on stage and wet his appetite.

5) Sports Bars
This should be obvious. If you don't actually see a sporting event live, the next best thing is to go to a sports bar. And guess what you'll find there...Men...Men and more Men. Now, if you absolutely hate sports...then this isn't a place you should try. If you can at least tolerate sports (don't need to be an expert or anything) this might be a gold mine. Find a sports bar that has the NFL ticket in the Fall and visit on a Sunday afternoon or catch the Sunday Night Football game. If you can hang late on a Monday night...go for the Monday Night Football game. Later in the season, the NFL plays games on Thursday nights. Of course, there are the NFL playoffs and those games are always on Saturday evenings and Sunday afternoons. And of course there is always the Super Bowl. Someone you know has to be throwing a Super Bowl party. Don't neglect the NCAA men's basketball tournament in March or the NBA playoffs in May and June or the MLB playoffs in late September and the month of October.

6) Super Bowl Parties
Someone you know has to be throwing a Super Bowl party. It is the most watched sporting event in the world and guess what a lot of men will be watching the game and hopefully at the party that you are going to. Sit near the TV or near the alcohol table (men like to drink too) so you'll get a bird's eye-view of which guys might not be paying attention to every detail in the game and instead checking you out. At halftime, move closer to your target and strike up a conversation about a big play in the first half. At the end of the game, you both should have already exchanged information.

7) Weddings
I strongly suggest that women attend the weddings of single male friends because every man that is getting married wants his male friends to witness it. You might get stuck at the singles table at the wedding reception but you can always walk around and talk to anyone that is interesting. When the music comes on...get on the dance floor and show what you got. But of course, keep it classy and don't get drunk and start falling all over yourself. Keep it classy. Of course, if he has a wedding ring on...look but DON'T TOUCH. You don't want another black woman trying to cut you. lol.

Birthday parties of your single male friends
For pretty much the same reason listed above for weddings, birthday parties of single male friends is one of the highest concentration of places you'll find other single men. If there is a guy that you have your eye on...ask the host (your male friend) what's the deal with him. He might even put in a good word for you to his boy and let the matchmaking begin.

Other places you are likely to bump into some men via suggestions from female friends who have found mates by meeting them at the following places.

Home Depot/Lowes (this was strongly suggested by some single female homeowners that I know but I'm not officially buying it. lol)

Fundraisers for charities

Bookstores

Community service events

Political events

The Single Black Male

2009-11-04T12:46:00.002-05:00

I have to give credit where it is due and this guy that writes this blog is VERY funny. Check out some of his posts and let me know what you think.

Post #1

Post #2

Post #3

Virginia's biggest loser +1

2009-08-27T12:53:00.007-04:00

So, William Taylor (left) really messed up. And his wife made him pay by wearing this silly sign admitting his adultery.
------------------------------------

Manlaw: Is this the new punishment for adultery? I hope not because no one is winning here.

William is "suffering" temporary embarrassment by wearing this silly sign but did he really learn his lesson and will he never cheat on his wife again?

We don't know that for sure.

His wife doesn't win either because the world now knows her husband stepped out on her and her marriage. I hope there are no kids in this family because they've been exposed to unnecessary shame not to mention family and friends that know these two idiots.

So, Mrs. Taylor if you really want to make a statement next time, do it quietly and file for divorce or better yet...stop with the gimmicks and make your cheating husband sleep on the couch with no sex for a month...that's if you plan to forgive him. If not, go with option No. 1 and keep the rest of the world out of your marriage.

"My Affair Wasn't 'Legally Wrong' "

2009-08-22T09:47:00.004-04:00

John Ensign Article

That quote above was said by esteemed US Senator John Ensign. He used this in comparing his affair to Bill Clinton when asked if he should resign.

This is the most wack excuse ever. I am sure every cheating man in America has considered using that excuse. However, I am sure Ensign is the only guy to ever actually use it. If I was to ever cheat, I am going to use a better line. Here are some good examples:

"Babe, it was an accident. I kind of slipped, fell, and landed in the va-jay-jay"

" I was drunk"

" My heart ain't got nothing to do with my penis. He says that you are still his favorite (Thanks Kanye)"

All of these are better than "my affair wasn't legally wrong".

50 Grand a month for some....

2009-07-27T11:45:00.004-04:00

I can't even finish the phrase from Method Man talking about the $55,000 Kelis was awarded in child support and spousal support from Nas recently. I saw that 75 percent of that money is for spousal support and the other 25 percent is for child support.

You can search on Youtube for the NC-17 rated clip as Method Man and Redman voice their opinion on child support and spousal support.

Removing the "derogatory lines" out of straight frustration. I agree 1 million percent with the underlying message that Method Man and Redman are saying.

Long term spousal support is wrong.
My thoughts: If you were making an income, then spousal support should be a
one-time payment equal to your total earnings from the previous tax year. If you
were not making an income, then spousal support should be a one-time payment
equaled to what the richer party spent on the spouse the previous tax year.

College fund as part of child support.
My thoughts: I don't know if this is standard but it probably should be. As part
of the child support package, I would like to see men have to dedicate money to
a college fund THAT THE MOTHER CAN'T TOUCH and only the child can reclaim on
their 18th birthday. If the child should die before their 18th birthday, the
mother should then get the money or have the money split between the mother and
father.

He Shoots, He Scores

2009-06-01T13:03:00.006-04:00

I never thought anyone could give the Shawn Kemp's (seven kids by six women) or the Travis Henry's (11 kids by 10 women) a run for their money but I've got a name for you.

Desmond Hatchet

He's 29 and get this (insert drum roll music)...he's got 21 kids by 11 women. Mr. Hatchet you sir are a winner. Of course, I'm being facetious.

Yes. He's got Kemp beat by 2 touchdowns and he's got Henry, a football player for that matter, beat by a touchdown and a field goal. And here's the kicker: he's got a minimum wage job (which wasn't identified in the clip). So, if you are a resident of the state of Tennessee, you should be angry because you are paying for all those "x" and "y" chromosomes

I understand everyone has civil rights and the government shouldn't be telling people how many kids they can have BUT...Mr. Hatchet's case is utterly ridiculous. According to the clip, the state of Tennessee can only take half of his wages but considering he's on minimum wage that can't be a lot. And when you start dividing that 21 ways...we are probably talking a few dollars and even a fewer cents.

Obviously, Hatchet deserves every ounce of blame thrown his way but wait a minute, the women in this case are not angels and obviously they are not too bright either. It is not like he's worth millions and we can clearly see you are just after a piece of his money. That I can begrudgingly accept...I'm going to still call you trifling but we at least know you had a plan.

A friend had the best Facebook status to describe how I feel about the women: "Clearly Mr. "I'm 29 and I have 20-21 kids" is pitiful. But what's the adjective for baby momma #3-#11? Ignorance is bliss and it will also get you $1.89 in child support."

I laughed when I read the status message but clearly this isn't funny and baby momma No. 3 to No. 11 have some explaining to do. I can only imagine what they said to their parents. "Hey....mom and dad. I've got a surprise for you. I'm having a baby with Desmond. Yeah. He's got...um....I'm not sure how many kids he's got really."

Well, baby momma "No. 3 to No. 11" you should checked how many kids he had. You also should have done some research (based on the state you live in) on the child support laws. Most importantly, you should have made him wear a condom. Because clearly, you are not ready to be a mother if you are depending on a man with a minimum wage job and an exponential amount of illegitimate kids to support you. I thought people took STDs, STIs, HIV and AIDS seriously but we've found one extreme example of adults who don't get it.

Let's be real. This guy's game can't be that good that he convinced 11 women to let him go raw. It may be true but I just can't buy it. I also can't believe that there were nine women that just wanted to add onto this family tree. That may be true too but I just can't buy it.

Manlaw and womanlaw: This will probably never happen (because of civil rights laws) but the state of Tennessee needs to make an example of Mr. Hatchet and his bevy of women. The state shouldn't support any more kids that he has. Period. Not one penny. Also, the state should change the laws to go after 75 percent of his check or change the law that says after a certain amount of kids the percentage the state takes goes up. I'm not sure how you punish the women but I think if you start educating young women about the child support laws that might be a start. The basic premise should be this: the more kids a man has the less in child support you are going to get. So, it probably isn't wise to be baby momma No. 3 to No. 11. Let me backtrack again, maybe the state of Tennessee needs to get tough and start pushing vasectomies and tubal ligations. At least, these careless individuals can screw up their own lives and not bring innocent children into the world. Maybe even create a baby daddy or baby momma registry.

Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man Discussion (Part 2)

2009-04-13T13:20:00.003-04:00

I want to say thank you to the 165 people that tuned into the live chat on Easter Sunday. I'm not sure if all the chatters were women but I suspect a very good portion were that night. Thank you for the support.

I hope you enjoyed the comments from my man Keith and I about the topics that Steve Harvey mentioned in his book. Someone asked when are we going to do a chat like this again and the honest answer is, I don't know.

If someone wants our thoughts (the male perspective...that is) on a specific topic about dating e-mail us at brothersmanlaw@yahoo.com and I'll see if I can't turn it into a blog entry or another chat.

Once again thanks for making the 4 hour and 47 minute chat (I was only planning on 2 hours max...lol) a total success.

Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man Discussion...

2009-04-09T20:30:00.008-04:00

Please come back on Sunday, April 12 at 7 p.m. as I'll host an online discussion about Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man."

I agreed with about 65 percent of what Steve Harvey said. The book is hilarious and even if you think Steve Harvey is full of himself...the book is worth a look. On Sunday evening, I'm going to give the non-celebrity man's point-of-view of what Steve Havey was saying.

See you then.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php?option=com_mobile&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;task=viewaltcast&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;altcast_code=e311cef455" &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man Chat&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Lets Talk

2009-03-29T11:08:00.002-04:00

From MSNBC.com

By Associated Press:

Police in Connecticut say a woman attempting to reconcile with her husband handcuffed herself to him as he slept and then bit him on his torso and arms.

Police say 37-year-old Helen Sun told them she wanted to have a conversation with husband Robert Drawbough without him leaving. Police say she changed the locks on their bedroom and handcuffed herself to Drawbough while he was sleeping Monday.

Drawbough used a cell phone to call police. Officers heard his screams when they arrived at the couple's Fairfield home. He was treated at a local hospital.

Police charged Sun with third-degree assault, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and unlawful restraint. She was due in Bridgeport Superior Court on Tuesday.

Manlaw: Only allow her to handcuff you if it comes with a "happy ending"

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

2009-03-12T12:34:00.005-04:00

Name: Epsilonicus

Age: 22

Nationality: Black American

Status: In A Relationship

Location: East Coast, USA

Important Information: The leader of the Man-Law Revival Movement. This movement feels that the metrosexualization of men has caused many of them to forget the laws that men hold dear and sacred. This movement works to keep man-law alive. These rules have helped many men throughout the millenia.

Epsilonicus, although in a relationship, does offer wingman services. If you need these services, you know where to find him.

He mentors young men in the ways getting a date and keeping a woman. This service is provided mostly to college age men but can be offered more widely since it is definitely needed.

He is now a contributing writer to the Brother's ManLaw blog. He hopes that all the readers enjoy his tenure as a contributing writer.

Public Service Annoucement for the Ladies

2009-03-09T15:02:00.002-04:00

-Written By A Woman

Honestly, I’m tired of hearing chicks say, “Men ain’t ish.” While this may be true some of the time, have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s something that you’re doing that is making men not want to stop and talk to you? You could just be unapproachable and that is why you can’t find a decent man. Maybe it’s something beyond your control, but then again maybe it’s not. Try to check the following:

Your Expressions:

Body language can tell a lot about a person like whether they’re mad or happy, or if they’re too busy to be bothered. You cannot go out somewhere and expect to meet men if you’re going to sit in the same spot all night with your arms folded across your chest. Men feed off your energy so if you want to meet someone you will have to be aware of your body language at all times. You don’t want the same ugly no good men walking up to you asking, “Why you looking so mean?” You know they’re bold and don’t care. Keep a pleasant look on your face and uncross your arms. This is an invite to let men into your space.

Your Appearance:

So you’re really walking out the house with curlers in your hair and your toes hanging over your flip flops? This is a no-no if you’re trying to catch a positive eye. Mr. Right could be out there but he’s going to look right over you and put you in the “hell no” category. If you have on sandals, make sure they are the right size and your toes are done. And if you have to keep your hair tied up, try to at least do it stylishly with a silky scarf…think Alicia Keys “Unbreakable” video. A good man wants his lady to look nice when she steps out.

Who you’re with:

“You’re only as good as the company you keep.” So why are choosing the loudest friends you have to go party with? You know the ones that dance on top of the bar and grab guys to get their attention and to buy them drinks. Sure, you all have a good time when you’re out. But save them for ladies nights when you aren’t thinking about men. If he see’s you with them, more than likely, he will think you act just like them and will ignore any eye contact you give him.

Manlaw: Already explained in the first paragraph by the female ghost writer.

They've got the pill for you in Sweden and Finland

2009-02-16T17:05:00.004-05:00

if you have premature ejaculation problems. Not something that I need help with but for those of you suffering from this problem you might want to read the story below and then my comments afterwards.

J&J Ejaculation Pill, World’s First, Wins Approvals (Update2)

By Alex Nussbaum
Feb. 10 (Bloomberg) -- Johnson & Johnson won approval in Sweden and Finland for the first prescription pill to treat premature ejaculation, three years after U.S. regulators rejected the drug, the company said.
The drugmaker expects to win clearance for dapoxetine, to be sold as Priligy, in five more European nations and has applied for approval in Canada, Australia, Mexico, Turkey and six other countries, said Greg Panico, a spokesman for New Brunswick, New Jersey-based J&J, today in a telephone interview. The pill, taken a few hours before intercourse, should be in European drugstores by April, he said.
“There’s a globally significant market” for premature ejaculation treatments, Panico said. He declined to estimate sales.
Dapoxetine may generate $575 million a year by 2011 for the company, said Michael Weinstein, a JPMorgan Chase & Co. analyst in New York, in an Oct. 29 note to clients. It’s one of several drugs J&J is developing to replace revenue it expects to lose to generic competition to top-selling medications such as the antipsychotic Risperdal, he said.
Johnson & Johnson fell $1.77, or 3 percent, to $56.73 in New York Stock Exchange composite trading at 4 p.m.. The company has lost 8.5 percent over 12 months.
Potential Patients
From 4 percent to 30 percent of men worldwide suffer premature ejaculation at some point in their lives, Panico said. Estimates vary because some men are embarrassed to admit the condition, he said. J&J defined the condition as ejaculation within a minute of penetration. The Merck Manual of Medical Information defines it as ejaculation sooner than men or their partners would like.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration turned down J&J’s application to sell dapoxetine in 2006 without explanation. Panico wouldn’t discuss the FDA rejection. He said J&J was “keeping its options open” to resubmit the pill in the U.S.
Dapoxetine neutralizes a chemical messenger in the brain called serotonin, the neurotransmitter also affected by antidepressants such as Eli Lilly & Co.'s Prozac. The antidepressants also may be prescribed to treat premature ejaculation, according to the National Institutes of Health.
The serotonin-targeting drugs have been subject of thousands of lawsuits against companies including Pfizer Inc., GlaxoSmithKline Plc.and Merck & Co.by patients who say the medicines increased the risk of suicide.
Five clinical trials involving 6,000 men using dapoxetine found no evidence suicide or suicidal thoughts increased, Panico said. J&J’s drug is taken as needed, so it should pose fewer potential dangers than antidepressants taken regularly, he said.
The drug was originally developed by Lilly as a potential antidepressant and licensed to J&J, Panico said. The company is also awaiting decisions on approval in Austria, Germany, Spain, Italy and Portugal, said a statement morning by Janssen-Cilag EMEA, the J&J unit marketing the drug.

Manlaw: First, Viagra and now this. What will they think of next? The sound you hear is about 1.5 million women clapping hard and asking when they can get their hands on this pill for the men in their lives. It is probably one of the most embarrassing things in a man's life to "come" too early and probably one of the most frustrating things in a woman's life to have to deal with a guy that does this often. I can see some very bold women ordering this pill in bulk and keeping it in the medicine cabinet, just in case. You have to figure good men are hard to find and good men that make women "come" like a river are even more rare. Now, does anyone see it as being hypocritical to approve Viagra but not approve a pill like this?

A baby daddy for every day of the week?

2009-02-09T01:22:00.007-05:00

We often throw the book at musicians, actors, athletes...etc... (basically men that are blessed with an insane amounts of money) when they go populating the world with children through their various baby mommas.

We quote scripture (chapter and verse) of how these men have no morals.

But rarely, if ever, do we take aim at women who are just as guilty, if not worse, than the same men we ridiculed on the gossips pages of tabloids and on the various celebrity gossip blogs.

It is a double standard that must change. If we're going to convict men in the court of public opinion for not "wrapping it up" then these same women must all serve the time for the same crime.

I mean...seriously....how many baby daddies do you really need Sinead O'Connor? Christie Brinkley? Faith Evans? Erykah Badu? Just to name a few.

Sinead O’Connor is pregnant with her FOURTH baby. She is due Christmas Eve. The baby daddy is her partner Frank Bonadio. Her other children are Jake, 18, with first husband, drummer John Reynolds; Roisin, 10, with Irish Times columnist John Waters; and two-year- old Shane, with musician Donal Lunny.

Christie Brinkley: Married FOUR times, THREE kids, THREE baby daddies. 1) Alexa Ray Joel, (born December 29, 1985), with Billy Joel. The name "Ray" was given to Alexa in honour to Ray Charles. 2) Jack Paris Taubman, (born June 2, 1995), with Richard Taubman. He was later adopted by Peter Cook and named Jack Paris Brinkley Cook. 3) Sailor Lee Brinkley Cook (born July 2, 1998), with Peter Cook.

Faith Evans: FOURTH Kids, THREE Baby Daddies: At 18, Evans won a scholarship to Fordham University in New York City to major in marketing. After a year, she left because she had a daughter, Chyna Griffin, with music producer Kiyamma Griffin. Evans married The Notorious B.I.G. nine days after meeting at a photoshoot. The marriage was turbulent as B.I.G. reportedly had affairs with Lil Kim and Charli Baltimore. But the two did reunite and their son Christopher Wallace, Jr. was born on October 29, 1996. In late 1997 Evans became pregnant by Todd Russaw. Her son Joshua was born later that year and the two married in summer 1998. In 2008 they had son Ryder Evan Russaw.

Erykah Badu: THREE KIDS, THREE baby daddies. Badu has a son named Seven Sirius born in 1997 with ex-partner André 3000 of OutKast. On July 5, 2004, Badu gave birth to a daughter, Puma Rose Sabti, in her Dallas home; Puma's father is West Coast rapper The D.O.C. who is originally from Dallas, Texas. She also dated rapper Common from 2000 to 2002. On February 1, 2009 Badu gave birth to her third child at home, a girl named Mars Merkaba, with her boyfriend of four years, rapper Jay Electronica.

Manlaw: I think it is time we start playing that clip from Madea's Family Reunion to our sons. The clip where Madea's loud-mouth brother, Joe, warns Boris Kodjoe's character that Vanessa is FERTILE because she's a single mother with two kids. Now, the movie scene, although a bit harsh, does have a point. Do you really want to be the third (or fourth or fifth) baby daddy? I think not. Back in the day, people were ashamed to be having a kid out of wedlock, now it is commonplace. And someone needs to have a SERIOUS chat with Erykah. Seven, Puma and Mars as baby names? GTFOHWTBS.

Women Can Smell a Man's Sexual Intentions?

2009-01-19T18:08:00.002-05:00

By Melinda Wenner
Life Science

It's not hard to tell when a guy is "happy to see you."

The twinkle in his eye, his swagger, that sexy smile — all are clear
signs he's in the mood.

And, at least subconsciously, a woman can also tell by the scent of
his sweat, according to new research.

Scientists have long debated whether humans, like animals, use
chemical signals called pheromones to communicate sexual interest to
potential mates.

Problem is, the effects of pheromones are thought to be subconscious —
meaning that if we do communicate using them, we sure don't know it.

It's also hard to know what these pheromones might be and how we sense
them, so researchers understand little about them.

But if human pheromones are going to be anywhere, they're going to be
in sweat, right?

Denise Chen, a psychologist at Rice University in Houston, and her
colleagues devised an experiment to compare how women respond to
different forms of male sweat — sweat produced in everyday situations
versus that produced when a man is turned on.

The researchers speculated that if humans do produce and respond to
sweat pheromones, then a woman should respond to a guy's sexual sweat
differently than she does to his normal sweat.

Chen and her colleagues asked 20 heterosexual guys to stop wearing
deodorant and scented products for a few days.

Then they told the men to put small pads in their armpits as they
watched pornographic videos and became aroused. (The researchers
confirmed, using electrodes, that the images did the job.)

Later, the guys were asked to exchange those pads for fresh pads to
collect the sweat they produced when they weren't aroused.

Then the researchers recruited 19 brave women to smell the men's pads
while undergoing brain scans.

The investigators used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), a
technique that reveals the brain regions a person is using at any
given time — even if their brain activity is subconscious.

Sure enough, the women's brains responded very differently depending
on which sweat they sniffed. (And no, none of them passed out.)

The sexual sweat, but not the normal sweat, activated the right
orbitofrontal cortex and the right fusiform cortex, brain areas that
help us recognize emotions and perceive things, respectively.

Both regions are in the right hemisphere, which is generally involved
in smell, social response, and emotion.

The findings bolster the idea that humans do communicate via
subconscious chemical signals, notes Chen in her study, which was
published in the Dec. 31 issue of the Journal of Neuroscience.

Our sexual intentions, in other words, may be a lot clearer than we
ever intended them to be.

That crush you have on your co-worker? She may already know — at least
subconsciously.
***
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479819,00.html

Manlaw: Why did they have 20 guys and only 19 women participate for this experiment? Anyways, as much as I would like to throw dirt on this experiment you can never underestimate the power of smell. I'm going to use some extra deodrant so that I'm not giving away my intentions too soon.

New Dating philosophy?

2008-12-30T16:36:00.003-05:00

I saw the following passage about a guy posted on a message board. Funny story and a lesson for the ladies out there.

-- MY DATE LAST NIGHT ---

When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan. Now don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I came away from the date feeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!

In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and ev en I was surprised that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that right- 5%! One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all this evidence I knew I had to change some things. So, this year.....

I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a credit card and ask them to open tabs for us. HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you know the Mastercard "priceless" serie s of commercials? Well, let me tell you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food (that they would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing to encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause SHE'S PAYING.

Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination of both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which brings me to my date last night...... omg.....

Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested w asn't good enough for her. Nah...she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson? Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar. Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the 'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me tell you - the girl i was with could really throw down the drinks. She was drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I encouraged her the whole way. She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever try it?' She's like....'Nooooooo!!!' I'm like, 'go on....just get some'. She's like 'are you sure'. I'm like, 'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she ordered one, then another, and finally one more..... wow she was probably more than a little drunk. I stuck to my Stoli and a splash of Cran.

When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5 drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli, but overall still a good value (i ate a ton of free macadamias and almond ds) $36.00. Damn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the restroom. I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date was heading out toward the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave - without paying!

Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor waitress standing just inside the front door with a small coctail tray. she did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn' t help wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that shit is expensive? Then I wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local Irish pub.

I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too...

Hence the manlaw: The ladies will get mad because it was a situation where a woman tried to get over on a guy and got PLAYED herself. The telling sign was the walk or sprint of shame to the door, when she she knew damn well she didn't have any cash or the means to pay for the outrageous stuff SHE ordered.

Who the fawk goes out (male or female) and doesn't have ANY MONEY or at least a credit card on them in case of emergency? And if you know you don't have any loot, why are you ordering enough grub and drank to feed an army? That's a terrible upbringing if she was told that a child and even worst if this was reinforced as a young adult.

It tells me she wasn't interested in getting to know the guy, or anyone for that matter, at all...it was all about her "getting something" out of it. What if he walked out on her and left her sitting at the table? What would she have done then? Has dating really deteriorated to this? Do women really calculate in their mind "how much they can squeeze out of a guy on a date?" This gimme mentality has to go...in 2009.

Bottom line.

1) You never assume anything.
2) You always let someone order for themselves.
3) If you don't have MONEY and this goes to ladies too...stay home. Or if you really want to go out, state that you have no money before we agree on plans.

Personally, there wouldn't have been a date if she tried to run this scam on me. The second she mentioned something that was 180 degrees different than what I suggested, it would have been a wrap for me.

Till Adultery Do Us Part?

2008-12-18T14:50:00.005-05:00

Suspended sentence for thespian Korean adulteress Ok So-Ri

Article from: Agence France-Presse
A LEADING South Korean actress who unsuccessfully challenged a national law which criminalises adultery has been given a suspended jail sentence for her extra-marital affair.

Ok So-Ri, 40, was sentenced by a district court on Wednesday after the constitutional court in October rejected her petition against the decades-old law.

Ok had admitted having an affair with a pop singer but blamed it on a loveless marriage to actor husband Park Chul, who had sued her and two of her alleged lovers. She had argued that the law infringed the right of individual choice in sexual relations. But the constitutional court ruled that adultery should remain a crime punishable by jail. It was the fourth time the court had refused to overturn the legislation, introduced in 1953. Ok was given a suspended eight-month jail term by the court in Goyang city, 30km northwest of Seoul.

"Committing adultery with an acquaintance of the spouse is something to be denounced. However, the accuser (Park) should also be blamed for being negligent in family life," the court said in a statement."It should also be taken into account that the accused, a celebrity whose private life has been laid bare to the public, has suffered enough pain."

The 38-year-old pop singer, who was not publicly identified, received a suspended six-month jail sentence.Ok's petition rekindled debate over whether adultery should be a crime punishable by up to two years in jail.

Some women's groups contend the law must be maintained to protect female rights in a traditionally male-dominated society. Critics say it breaches an individual's right to sexual choice and is outdated. Some lawmakers are pushing for a bill to repeal the legislation. The law is usually invoked only when a husband or wife complains of a partner's adultery. He or she must follow up the complaint by filing for divorce.

According to a survey quoted by newspapers last year, nearly 68 percent of South Korean men and 12 percent of women confessed to having sex outside marriage. Court data shows the number of people jailed for adultery has declined sharply over the years. Last year, 1,190 people were indicted but only 47 were jailed and 592 were given suspended sentences.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24813882-2703,00.html

Manlaw: Let me first say that this is a fawked-up law in South Korea. With that said, O.K. So-Ri and any male that voilates this law should be lucky the penalty isn't castration. See, if that was the penalty, I think adultery would be WAY down (no pun intended). But the interesting stat is the survey done by South Korean newspapers that said "nearly 68 percent of South Korean men and 12 percent of women confessed to having sex outside of marriage." Now, you know someone is lying here and when there is such a disparity in the polling, I am throwing the dirt on the women. These men are not cheating by themselves. Women have much more incentive to lie about sex than men so they will not be seen as loose. To correct this irregularity, you should multiply the women's precentage by at least 3 to bring it to 36 percent. That's more believable.

The New 50-50

2008-10-10T11:22:00.004-04:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7661786.stm
Cambodian couple cut home in half

Mr Rim's half of the house has been moved to an undisclosed location
An estranged couple in Cambodia have sawn their house in half to avoid the country's convoluted divorce process.
Moeun Rim and his wife, Nhanh, who have been married nearly 40 years, split the building last week following an argument, local officials said.
Mr Rim has removed his share of the property and the couple have also divided their land into four parts; two for their children, and two for them.
Divorce cases in Cambodia can be costly and may take a long time to settle.
The house - or one half of the house - is located in Prey Veng province, about 90km (56 miles) from the capital, Phnom Penh.

In sickness and health

The couple fell out after Mr Rim accused his wife of neglecting him whilst he was ill.
"We tried to persuade them to think clearly before they did this because they had been married for nearly 40 years," local chief Vorng Morn told the Phnom Penh Post newspaper.
"But they did not listen," he said.
A local lawyer told the newspaper that dividing a property was legal if both parties had agreed to it - but that it did not mean the pair were legally divorced.
"If in the future they have any disagreements, the provincial chief will not be responsible, as there had not been a judgment from the court," Prak Phin said.

P.S. a.k.a "the manlaw"

This gives a new definition to the phrase "50-50" and it better not catch on in the United States. Always judge a relationship by the bad times and how she's able to deal with it. Once you have your answer, then you'll know if you need to cut your loses in half and be done with it.

The new punishment for not doing housework?

2008-09-22T13:50:00.002-04:00

A 20-year-old Fort Worth, TX woman will have a lot of explaining to do before a judge after she's accused of an aggravated assault charge after police say she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.

You know this didn't start and most likely will not end (that's if he's not dead next time) with the dishes. This woman has ISSUES and it most likely has nothing to do with him. He probably isn't a saint either but when you bite someone, break a picture frame across someone's face and swing a sword...YOU ARE TRYING TO CAUSE unrepairable damage.

Hence the manlaw: There is no honor is getting beat up by your girlfriend and for god's sake move out of the way or at least duck the next time she goes on a war path. Unless the girlfriend is an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling, softball or fencing, a healthy male should be able to fend off a woman. Either that or hit the gym. Sheeesh.

Caught With Your Pants Down...

2008-09-09T23:18:00.003-04:00

This appeared on Craig's list and I have to give a fist pound to the woman that obviously wrote the following item.

Found : Your Panties (Please Come Get Them) (222 Curlew St, Rochester, NY 14613)

Reply to: comm-821755873@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-01, 1:40AM EDT

Found:

Hi. I found your panties and I was wondering if you want them back. You left them at my house between August 18 and August 23 while I was in the hospital delivering my son. I don't know who you are, but obviously you know my husband.

Anyways, I would like you to come and get them. I am not going to assault you or threaten you, or say or do anything against you, this is obviously my husband's wrong doing. I'm honestly not even sure that you knew he was married. He might have even told you some BS story just to get into your panties...which you forgot to take with you.

For all of you reading this who think it is a joke, I assure you that it is not. My husband, however finds it to be a hoot. He even tried to tell me that they must be mine and I am mistaken. This is not the case. First off, I have bought all of my own underwear, so I know what I own. Secondly, I have not worn panties in this size for 2 years, so I am sure that I would vividly remember seeing them in my underwear drawer for 2 years. Third, if they were mine, being that they are too small, they would not have ended up in my laundry because I would not be able to wear them.

If you are not sure that they are yours, I have attached a photo and will leave a description of the panties below. No explanation on your part is required, but if you are interested in testifying in court to pay him back for treating you like a piece of meat, I am happy to oblige you, it is your choice. If these are your panties, please e-mail me and I will give you the address you can pick them up at, though I'm sure you all ready know it.

Specs on Said Panties:

*Size 6

*Magenta fabric with black stitching around the gathering on the lower half.

"Love and Kisses" applique on the front in light pink and black

Small silver heart charm attached to black bow on the front, center.

My husband wanted to keep them, but I managed to pull them from his grasp after I threw them at him. I figure someone might want them back. Again, no explanation on your part is necessary. If you want, I will even mail them to your address or your friend's address so that you don't have to meet me. They are even freshly washed, since I did not notice them until I took them out of the dryer tonight with a load of my laundry.

Thanks!

Sometimes a manlaw writes itself: The guy indirectly mentioned in this post needs to turn in his player card IMMEDIATELY. He shouldn't pass Go and he damn sure isn't collecting $200 (he's probably going to pay 10 times that in a divorce settlement. If he was that careless to leave incriminating evidence around...then he deserves whatever punishment his wife dishes out.

Black is Beautiful..

2008-09-07T00:03:00.004-04:00

And Susan Crain Bakos wrote an essay about it.

Like to read it? Here you go...

You have to give it to her because she does bring up some interesting points.

Wingman Rules!

2008-08-26T21:01:00.004-04:00

My boy Jesse broke this down recently to myself and some other fiends and I felt it was my civic duty to disseminate his manifesto to America.

=======================================================

Ok....we know the ladies have mastered the arts of having their Wingpersons...be he gay man, lady friend, or Mother Hen types, they WILL ruin the fun for everyone because you don't deviate from the plan that was agreed upon when everyone was less horny and drunk. But we men have allowed homophobia and cuckolding women to break up the bond and merit of the beloved "wingman."

I'm reminded of the old Bud Light commercial with the two brothers on a double dinner date when another honey catches one's eye. For those who don't know the Wingman has a different responsibility than the Wingwoman.

Therefore I feel it's my responsibility to offer a refresher course and outline the rules.

WINGMAN RULES

1) It's best to establish before going out who is to "take one for the team" or who is "overdue" for his Leadman role.

2) The Wingman is a mutual role for all parties involved. Unless agreed upon before hitting the scene, whomever gets the hookup first (Leadman), the other(s) must collectively support Leadman until the mission is accomplished.

3) Leave your heart at home. If you're thinking about a lost or distant love, suck it up and be a Wingman to your boy!

4) No cock blockin'! If you're boy already has an in with a lady you've had an eye on, you have 2 options; A) let your boy know and leave it up to HIM to step back (no forcing him to) or B) stick to your duties as a Wingman and act faster next time.

SETTING UP

1) If the decision is made that a spokesperson from the group is to introduce you to the cutie (clearing the brushes if you will), the lead man is NOT, repeat NOT to make eye contact or ever look in the general direction of target until the spokesperson returns. Leadman/Setup should busy himself in convincing conversation...preferably with a woman. Exceptions to the "return" rule include the phone text or another Wingman giving him the "clear."

2) Once the Leadman has an in, the others must do what's necessary to keep things on track. Once Leadman is set, next Leadman is given support.

Group Guys & Group Ladies Mingle:

1)Under NO circumstances are any two couples to hold a private conversation. Two couple break off are the minimum group reduction.

2)Women will find weak Wingman and cause him to divulge the group's weakness, shattering everyone's prospects once word reaches Mother Hen. Answer and/or avoid personal questions about you or wing men accordingly when on the dance floor.

3)NEVER answer a question about your boy unless it's a 100% positive image answer. Questions about other Wingman are answered ONLY in the paired up couple or group presence.

4)Never bicker about money or who is picking up the tab in front of the ladies. Cover your broke ass wingman and cash him out later!

5)Never flash cash in front of the ladies.

Disseminating Information:

1) Always check your Wingman for the grooming keys regularly: hair, collar, fly, breath, sweat, straight clothing. Bring it to their attention ASAP and as discreetly as possible!

2) Children, marriage, pregnancies, smoking, ugly feet, bad breath, bulge between legs, Adam's apple, bad teeth, man hater, possible lesbian, stuffed bras, and weaves should be brought to the attention of ALL members ASAP!! Especially the Leadman. If he looks bad, everyone looks bad! *see below on ABORT PROTOCOL*

3) Needless to say, while looking out for what you like, if you catch a honey eying your boy, you let him know.

4) Always share the eye candy love. Hoggin' up the long legs, Dancefloor Queen, braless honey, or jigglin' butt will get your wings clipped and or "set up" with a #2.

5) NEVER point, provide GOOD landmarks. "9 o'clock in red dress about 5' 7"" Making your boy(s) look all over the place makes the whole group look bad and hungry. Exception to the pointing rule is when a "quick look or miss it " reaction is needed. Do NOT abuse this exception.

ABORT PROTOCOL:

1) Choosing to abort an ongoing "get to know" MUST have agreed approval of at least 2 Wingman before initiating. This is to confirm that reasons for aborting are within the rules of engagement and/or weighed against the potential and likely results of continuing engagement.

2) Abort Level is to be determined 1) GET HIM OUTTA THERE ASAP 2) He's been over there long enough, save that for getting to know later b/c we have bigger fish to fry OR we got a better hook up for him 3) Bring it to his attention and let him make his own decision.

3) The Wingman currently not engaged in a "fast track" conversation with a woman, is to do whatever is necessary to bring the information and recommendation of the group to the Leadman without causing a scene.

PRESENCE

1) make sure each and every pose you hold says MAN. Just like when dancing, never have your arms or hands looking restless.

2) Give your boys room. This ain't Football, no need to huddle. Plus real men take up space they don't need even in a crowd, cuz who's gonna tell them they can't? NO ONE that's who!

3) No staying together for more than 5 min. Good conversation or not, just as lead conversation is to be shared, so is the "lookout" role. Share the responsibility of being the "one" who ventures out to the "chickenhead" cluck group gathered up in the corner or by the bar. Every once in a while, just straight break up and scout the place.

Fellas.....anything I miss?

Wifey Material: How Do You Stack Up?

2008-07-29T13:03:00.004-04:00

No. 1 Quality Men Want in a Wife
(from aol.com)

Filed under: Attraction & Chemistry, Friends & Family, Dating, Commitment & Marriage

The adage is true: Men tend to marry a woman who is like their mother.

We're not talking looks or personality. It's even bigger than that. We're talking life direction. Whether a young man's mother earned a college degree and whether she worked outside the home while he was growing up seems to have an effect years later when he considers his ideal wife, according to a study by University of Iowa sociologist Christine Whelan, author of "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women."

High-achieving men, that is those who earn salaries in the top 10 percent for their age and/or have a graduate degree, are highly likely to marry a woman whose education level mirrors their mom's.

Nearly 80 percent of the high-achieving men whose mothers had college degrees married women with college degrees, and 19 percent of them married women with graduate degrees. Of men whose moms had graduate degrees, 62 percent tied the knot with graduate degree holders, and 27 percent said "I do" to women with college degrees.

Sixty-eight percent of high-achieving men agreed with the statement, "Smart women make better mothers."

"Successful men in their 20s and 30s today are the sons of a pioneering generation of high-achieving career women. Their mothers serve as role models for how a woman can be nurturing and successful at the same time," said Whelan, a visiting assistant professor of sociology in the UI College of Liberal Arts and Sciences. "One man I interviewed put it like this: 'If your mother is a success, you don't have any ideas of success and family that exclude a woman from working.'"

Fun facts about men and their mothers:

-- 72 percent of mothers of high-achieving men worked outside the home after they had children.

-- Among those men, 75 percent agreed or strongly agreed with the statement "Men are more attracted to women who are successful in their careers."

-- Men who grew up with working moms were almost twice as likely to marry a woman who makes $50,000 or more per year.

-- 62 percent of high-achieving single men disagreed with this statement: "Women who are stay-at-home parents are better mothers than women who work outside the home."

-- 75 percent of the high-achieving men disagreed with this statement: "It is usually better for everyone involved if the man is the achiever outside the home and the woman takes care of the home and family."

"These young men saw their mothers as smart women who could choose to work outside the home, and now that they're making decisions about what they want in a wife, it seems that they are choosing similar types of women," said graduate student Christie Boxer, who assisted with the research.

Manlaw: Ladies get to know a man's mother very closely. He might not admit this to your face but in some way he's comparing you to his mother to see how you stack up.

Who wants to be a millionaire? (Part 2)

2008-04-06T20:55:00.003-04:00

Lisa Miceli is tarnishing the reputation of goldiggers.

She's already struck out twice on paternity tests with my man Michael Jordan and now she has the balls to ask him for a THIRD paternity test.

Umm...Michael finally said it is time to play some defense and sued her for harassment. That's probably the best defensive move Michael has made in a long time.

But serioulsy, how many times do you have to embarrass yourself?

What Black Men Think!

2008-03-21T14:34:00.002-04:00

This was a very good PSA.

Why You Should Avoid Dating Single Mothers!

2008-01-11T05:28:00.000-05:00

I can't say I agree with every thing said here, but the man does make some valid points.

I've never dated a single mother myself but I'll have to reference the checklist if I ever come across one soon.

You Don't Even Know You Are the Father!

2007-11-26T08:29:00.000-05:00

I guess this is an only in the UK story because I don't see how this would fly in the United States.

Manlaw: Another reason to ALWAYS wrap it up. Don't take any chances. As it has been proven time and again, the courts will find a way to screw a man over if they can.

Who wants to be a millionaire?

2007-11-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

More like who doesn't want to be like Mike right now?

$168 million is A LOT of money to pay out in a divorce settlement, record-breaking for a celebrity according to this article.

But, the report says Juanita signed a pre-nup that said she could get 1/2 of Jordan's fortune, she got 1/3 or Jordan's fortune.

And they say women do the most vindictive things....

2007-10-28T04:50:00.000-04:00

Pilar Stofega could be a first-ballot inductee into the Haters Anonymous Hall of Fame.

Granted.

Men do some really stupid stuff every now and then. But you have to admit when women want to get grimey, women come out swinging with their nails sharpened.

Manlaw: Pilar Stofega (and women like her) if you somehow find this blog...take this friendly advice and read "He's Just Not That Into You.". This book should be required reading for every woman over 21. Scratch that. He's WAY BEYOND not into you anymore if he's married and living a peaceful life.

I Ain't Saying She A Gold Digger...but

2007-10-04T10:39:00.000-04:00

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST -- THE RESPONSE IS PUUUUUURE GENIUS.

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250K. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper eastside so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this posterwith services orother commercial interests

Disclaimer: Sometimes a manlaw writes itself...like this guy did with his response. lol.

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple acr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won'tbe getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.--

Ask Manlaw (Part 2)

2007-09-27T06:47:00.000-04:00

In an attempt to spur more conversation manlaw brings back a feature we call "Ask Manlaw".

We will answer questions based on your experiences in a blog entry. The brothers of manlaw will attempt to give our expert opinions.

We will not reveal the person who submits the question.

If you want to ask the brothers any question, e-mail us at brothersmanlaw@yahoo.com.

How Not To Become a Single Woman During Football Season

2007-08-30T13:54:00.000-04:00

I don't have any scientific research to back up this claim but I'm going out on a limb and saying there's a spike in breakups during the fall because of football season.

And guess what?

It is not his fault.

Football was there before you were and that will never change. Don't make him choose football or you...because you just might get your feelings hurt.

Seriously.

So, that's the manlaw/PSA for you ladies...and don't say I didn't save you from becoming a single woman during football season.

Also...check out the links below

Read This (Part 1)

Read This (Part 2)

Man's Not So Best Friend (Part 2)

2007-07-18T15:31:00.000-04:00

You can call this a knockout blow for "Roy."

As the article states, "that's a pseudonym for a guy in New Jersey that was told in 1999 by his ex-wife "Bonnie" (also a pseudonym) that their youngest son was actually the child of "Patrick" (also a pseudonym) the boy's godfather with whom she'd been having an affair."

Sounds like a simple "he thought-she didn't tell the truth story"

However, the article also states... "the next year, "Roy" decided to sue "Patrick" for reimbursement of child support he had paid to take care of the child, "Darren." A lower court sided with "Roy" and ordered the biological father to pay the child support, a decision he appealed. The Appellate Court again sided with "Roy," and it was appealed to the Supreme Court."

As you probably guessed (if you didn't click on the link above), Roy lost on a technicality according to the article, "In its unanimous ruling, the Supreme Court ruled that "Roy" was not entitled to a child support reimbursement because under the state's Parentage Act claims must be filed before a child turns 23 years old."

Hence the manlaw: First, fellas read part 1 of this series. Second, find out if your state has a Parentage Act on the books, if yes, read every line of the law if you are involved in a paternity dispute. I believe the Parentage Act is different in every state that has one on the books.

Personally, I think Roy went about this the wrong way. He sued the wrong party. I would have sued "Bonnie" because it appeared to me that she 1) knew what the law stated and 2) she knew he wasn't the father all this time and 3) she f$cked up three people's lives (Roy, Patrick and Darren) in the process of revealing this information.

You think Roy will make the same mistake again? Well, I hope nobody is that f$cking stupid.

Multiplication of the assets

2007-06-23T03:18:00.000-04:00

According to this survey, almost one in three American men say that they had sex with at least 15 partners, while just one in 11 American women report similar behavior.

For those that don't like fractions, that's about 33 percent of men and about 9 percent of women agree on that aforementioned number of at least 15 partners.

Hmm.

Somebody is lying.

Guess who I'm going to point the finger at?

Manlaw: Since women underreport their number of sexual partners more so than men overreport their number of sexual partners, fellas always multiple her "number" by three to bring it up to average.

You have to remember that women don't include one-night stands, non-boyfriends or bad lovers in their totals. Women remember and admit to quality while men remember and admit to quantity.

Man's Not So Best Friend

2007-05-11T03:32:00.000-04:00

Now, isn't THIS some sh$t.

Even when a man does an honorable thing, he's still getting run over because of women and man's not so best friend, the U.S. Court system.

Manlaw: If you're going to be a sperm donor, do your homework. Also, don't be generous in Pennsylvania unless you're willing to roll the dice.

As the last line of the article states "About two-thirds of states have adopted versions of the Uniform Parentage Act that can shield sperm donors from being forced to assume parenting responsibilities. Pennsylvania has no such law."

The Donkey Kong

2007-04-02T08:47:00.000-04:00

They say kids say the darndest things, but I think mostly that applies to adults. Consider this IM conversation I had with a friend of mine, a 20-sumn editor at a magazine in New York fashion magazine. She's cool with me using this story so long as I don't identify her, and since there are plenty of 20-sumns at Gotham City clothes rags, I think I'm good here.

Anywho, Miss Editor's losing a lil weight, so we're talking about workout programs and the like. The conversation goes:

Miss Editor: I think I may have lost too much weight
KTR: Oh no...you didn't lose the ass did you?

Miss Editor: LOL! People keep saying that...why is that so important?
KTR: Are you serious? Ass is one of the things that makes black women beautiful. Seriously, no homo. I'm not being funny about that, it's just something that tends to be a distinguishing characteristic of a lot of black women.

Miss Editor: So then what's the distinguishing characteristic of black men? Nevermind.
KTR: No, not nevermind. You're the woman, you tell me what the distinguishing characteristic is.

Miss Editor: Honestly, the DONKEY KONG! Seriously. I've been with white men, wasn't feeling it. Even been with an Asian guy, definitely wasn't feeling that....

The "donkey kong"? That's funny enough on its own. But made it hilarious is that this conversation took place as I'm in the middle of reading Scott Poulson-Bryant's HUNG: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men In America. Hung is Poulson-Bryant's deconstruction of the myth of The Big Black Dick, a treatise of sorts on how the proposition of being labeled physically and metaphorically HUGE by society at large can at once make you a walking threat worthy of lynch-mob justice (Emitt Till), while rendering you nothing more than a plaything in the eyes of a mere horny college girl (Poulson-Bryant himself).

In short, the book's about the fallacy of the black phallus and what that does to those of us who through birth have to carry both the fallacy and the phallus around with us.

Just food for thought.

Wow

2007-03-26T23:02:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while, we come across something that just speaks for itself. Today was one of those days.

Six orgasms in 24 minutes...(or "Damn, we really do have to talk to them?")

2007-03-21T20:27:00.000-04:00

The medical researcher who discovered women's "g-spots" is out with a new book that says women's brains are the most important organ in achieving orgasm, and not any physical part of the body.

The book is about, simply "The science of orgasm", but in one particularly interesting chapter, she details how some women with spinal injuries could actually relearn how to, well, get off -- in one case to the tune of six (count 'em: six) in a 24 minute span.

I don't know about y'all, but as successful as I like to think I am in the bedroom, six in 24 minutes? The hell kinda hairpin trigger she got? And not for nothing, don't think we men don't understand what this researcher is really trying to accomplish: all of a sudden there's a branch of science "proving" that stimulating a woman's brain really IS the key to everything else. Right, how convenient it is that now there's a way to definitively link actually having to have a conversation with your wife or girlfriend to how well things go later on when you're trying to do anything but talk.

Keep your book, lady.

Condoms, maybe?

2007-03-12T22:39:00.000-04:00

File this under "triflin'". According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, a man went to court recently on a theft charge and admitted before a judge that he has six kids -- on the way, that is. That's right. Not six kids already. Not five and one coming. Not even four with twins in the oven.

No, this man -- and ever so loosely do I use the term -- said in open court, prior to his lawyer shutting him up, that he has six different women knocked simultaneously. Surprisingly enough, the cat wasn't even in court for custody or child support. His crime, according to the story, was running a scheme most crooks would know as playing the float. Basically, what you do is make a false deposit at an ATM machine, using an empty envelope, then immediately withdraw the cash back from the account. Because it takes a deposit a certain amount of time to clear, you're off scott free with the cash that you've "floated" yourself, at least until the bank catches its mistake.

I refuse to believe this man was stupid, despite the six kids thing (that's a big exception, I know). For one, a float hustle isn't one for the faint of heart or slight of brain. It takes sense to figure out how to make it work. Beyond that, dude had already made restitution for what he stole, a sign he was smart enough to get ahead of the system and at least try to win himself leniency. As it stands, he took a guilty verdict and walked with not a day behind bars. Last, the story says he produces music and that just got a deal worth at least 300 grand in up-front cash. This is no fool, more like a hustler, and not necessarily of the two-bit variety.

But what doesn't make sense to me is what respectable hustler would set himself up for a trap as big as having six kids by six different babymommas? Seriously, nothing in life could be worse than that, including jail. A man with as many schemes as he had should have been able to figure out a real easy solution to this problem: hit up the Trojan aisle, homie. Trojans ain't never hurt nobody.

We want prenup, we want prenup!

2007-03-01T08:44:00.000-05:00

They say stupid is as stupid does, but maybe stupid is as stupid doesn't do.

In this case, stupid is a professional athlete, and what stupid didn't do was get a prenuptial agreement before he tied the knot. Amani Toomer, the New York Giants wide receiver, got divorced yesterday, and avoided what was expected to be a nasty court battle. Good for him, kinda.

The problem is that while he didn't have to go through the hassle of a trial, an annulment, not a divorce, is what he wanted. See, Toomer claimed that his wife was frigid, wouldn't have his babies, had at least four abortions without his knowledge and was generally a basket case after they'd agreed on having a big, happy family before they got married. In Vegas, no less.

His estranged countered that he was unreasonably demanding for sex (because we know how notorious those football players are for their low sex drives. B, please), and that he was holding back her career as a chiropractor and her aspirations to become a lawyer.

My guess is there's probably some truth to both of their claims, but that's beside the point. The real devil in the details here is that the unstated reason Toomer wanted an annulment, rather than a divorce, was to protect his assets. An annulment entitles the ex to little to nothing; in a divorce proceeding, she can get (and she had asked the court for) HALF. I personally will never understand what it is that makes women, men or anyone else feel entitled to half of the assets that they didn't help to build -- last time I checked, I never saw his wife on the field blocking for him -- but again, that's beside the point. At the end of the day, a prenuptial agreement, which doesn't seem to have been in place here, could have prevented all the drama. Outline, in writing, the terms under which both of you are comfortable parting, as well as your expectations for marriage, and you're straight. Never for the life of me will I understand why anyone getting married, pro athletes first among them, doesn't carry one around in their back pocket.

How hard can that be?

Get your wet wipes !

2007-02-08T18:46:00.000-05:00

Okay. . .Okay. . .Okay. . .

Let's talk about Lisa Nowak. No, I'm not going to bash her or be insensitive to what people are deeming "mental anguish". We have all wanted to be the object of someone's romantic attention. I mean I remember I was like 20 and I thought my girlfriend was cheating on me. She went out and was calling me drunk saying she would be home late. My "mentally anguished" ass walked about 15 minutes to her crib at 3:00 am to sit between two cars across the street waiting to see who she came home with. Luckily for me it was only 15 minutes away and I'm a man so I didn't see the need to rock a diaper !

First off she's a married mother of 3. So already I'm losing sympathy for her "anguished" ass ! Second, how are you mentally and intellectually fit to be an astronaut but yet drive 900 miles to confront a woman about a man who ain't even yours wearing a diaper. I mean what was she listening to in the whip. How are you driving and just peeing on yourself ? That ain't gangsta ! I know. The astronauts wear diapers for take off and landing. But damn that's exiting and entering a planet's atmosphere. This is driving. Pull your dumb ass over. I'm sorry, I'm bashing.

And. And. She was going to kidnap this chic. She wasn't even sure that homegirl was seeing dude. She just snapped and decided she was willing to risk her husband, 3 children, a career at NASA, and was going to pack a bag, fill up with gas, throw on a diaper and roll out huh ? Just like that ?
Now, was she driving a hybrid cuz what car goes 9 hours w/o a refill ? Why she couldn't piss then ?(ghetto grammar, picture we on the front porch)

She runs up on chic and tries to get in the car then knocks on the window and sprays pepper spray in the window. Oh lawd. This is the best scheme an astronaut could come up with ? And why do people cover their face on the way to court. Don't they know we got the mug shot, we got the name. . .what the hell ?

So now the real question. . .Is she just crazy in love ? or Just crazy ?
I mean I have made women cry. I have caused stress, and probably "mental anguish".
I have had pictures cut up and put in my mailbox ? I've had my house broken into by my woman and I have had a woman follow me home (walking). . .and we were young. I mean it was me and her. Not me and her and her husband and 3 kids. So, what was he doing that she would do some crazy shit like that on a hunch ?

And she's a f#$%in astronaut son. I saw armageddon. The cats go through rigorous training on how to survive in extreme environments. They are supposed to be on some top level mensa sh#t. Suduku ain't sh@t to them. They are supposed to be able to perservere through "mental anguish" not cave in and throw some D (iaper)'s on it and ride out !

All over now travelers will be trying to save time by wearing diapers. F around and see NASA endorsing depends.

"Is your life busy ? Feel like you don't time for sh!t ? Rock depends, handle your business, you can deal with that other sh#t later !"

Manlaw: if you go visit a woman and she has diapers but no kids and no old folks on a bed in the living room. . .RUN !

...to be so lucky

2007-02-06T13:50:00.000-05:00

Meet Cindy, my homegirl who moved from Boston to San Diego about a year ago. Cindy's cool people for any number of reasons, but she added one to the list today.

See, Cindy, as she describes it, has the "worst spoiling tendencies" when it comes to her man. Today she's planning a trip for she and her guy to go to Hawaii -- all on her. Let's take a step back for a minute here -- Cindy's no pushover, despite what the name suggests. She's a multiethnic, edgy chic from Dorchester (those of you from Boston will get the implication of that off top), who's petite but with a body, easy on the eyes and soft spoken but who drag races in her spare time and could likely kick the ass of half the men I know my size.

Given that, it was surprising to hear her talking about the fact that outside of racing and her other "normal" exploits, that Cindy also enjoys "...knowing I can splurge on a guy...cooking, baking, and tons of gifts all the time." Makes her feel good, she says. I'll bet it makes him feel good, too.

But it did give me a lot of questions, though. Women my age and younger, at least many of those I've met, ain't exactly what I'd call the "cater to my man" set, regardless of what Beyonce sings about. If they are, it's usually attached to some condition or another, as in 'he's got to prove himself before he deserves, x, y, or z', or 'he's got to be great in bed to deserve breakfast'. Rarely have I heard a woman speak of wanting to spoil a man because of how it made her feel.

Cindy, though, apparently had a better role model than some of the other women I know.

"I learn from my mother, that's how she keeps my dad in love with her
after 34 years. Many women think that they're the ones that need to be
spoiled, but men need affection too. A bj and stuff in the bedroom can
only do so much. Plus, my bf is helpless in the kitchen. I just also
happen to love cooking and baking, it calms me down. It also makes it
easier when I am with a high maintenance guy who loves expensive
clothes, jewelry, cologne, and the occasional getaways. Whenever I go
out with my girls shopping, I always find something for HIM as well. So
for valentine's day, I'm surprising him with a trip to Hawaii, a package
to an all inclusive resort, and some clothes for the vacation."

Ladies, got them notebooks out?

When Sex Goes Wrong on the Net

2007-01-30T16:31:00.000-05:00

Steamy Blog Lawsuit Heads for Trial
By MATT APUZZO
AP
WASHINGTON (Dec. 27) - When Robert Steinbuch discovered his girlfriend had discussed intimate details about their sex life in her online diary, the Capitol Hill staffer didn't just get mad. He got a lawyer.
Soon, though, the racy tidbits about the sex lives of the two Senate aides faded from the front pages and the gossip pages. Steinbuch accepted a teaching job in Arkansas, leaving Washington and Jessica Cutler's "Washingtonienne" Web log behind.

While sex scandals turn over quickly in this city, lawsuits do not. Steinbuch's case over the embarrassing, sexually charged blog appears headed for an embarrassing, sexually charged trial.

Lurid testimony about spanking, handcuffs and prostitution aside, the Washingtonienne case could help establish whether people who keep online diaries are obligated to protect the privacy of the people they interact with offline.

Cutler, a former aide to Sen. Mike DeWine, R-Ohio, says she created the blog in 2004 to keep a few friends up to date on her social life. Like a digital version of the sex-themed banter from a "Sex and the City" episode, Cutler described the thrill and tribulations of juggling sexual relationships with six men.

One of those men was Steinbuch, a counsel to DeWine on the Judiciary Committee. Cutler called him the "current favorite" and said he resembled George Clooney , liked spanking and disliked condoms.

"He's very upfront about sex," she wrote. "He likes talking dirty and stuff, and he told me that he likes submissive women."

When Ana Marie Cox, then the editor of the popular gossip Web site Wonkette.com, discovered and linked to Cutler's blog, the story spun out of control. Cutler was fired and Steinbuch says he was publicly humiliated. He went to court seeking more than $20 million in damages.

The case is embroiled in thorny pretrial issues, with each side demanding personal information from the other. Steinbuch wants to know how much money Cutler received from the man she called her "sugar daddy." Cutler demanded Steinbuch's student evaluations from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock Law School, where he teaches.

Steinbuch also recently added Cox as a defendant in the case, though he has not served her with court papers. A trial date has not been set, but Matthew Billips, Cutler's attorney, said there are no settlement talks that might head off a trial.

"I have no idea what he wants," Billips said. "He's never said, 'This is what I think should be done."'

Neither Steinbuch nor his attorney returned phone calls seeking comment. In court, attorney Jonathan Rosen said Steinbuch wants to restore his good name. Students in his legal ethics class all search the Internet and learn about the blog, Rosen said.

"It's not funny and it's damaging," Rosen told a judge. "It's horrible, absolutely horrible."

To win, Steinbuch will have to prove that the details of their sexual relationship were private and publishing them was highly offensive. Billips argues that Cutler never intended to make the blog public but, in the information age, data is easily copied and distributed beyond its intended audience.

If the case goes to trial, its outcome will be important both to bloggers and to people who chronicle their lives on social-networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. Marc Rotenberg, director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, said he may teach the Washingtonienne case this spring during his class at Georgetown Law School.

"Anybody who wants to reveal their own private life has a right to do that. It's a different question when you reveal someone else's private life," he said, adding that simply calling something a diary doesn't make it one. "It's not sitting in a nice, leather-bound book under a pillow. It's online where a million people can find it."

Rotenberg asked, what if Cutler had secretly videotaped the encounters and sold the videos without Steinbuch's consent? There has to be a line somewhere, he said.

Since being fired, Cutler moved back to New York, wrote a novel based on the scandal, posed nude for Playboy and started a new Web site, where she solicits donations "for slutty clothes and drugs."

She wouldn't discuss the case but said she's amazed by what has happened.

"The fact that anyone was interested in the first place was a surprise," she said. "The fact that there was a lawsuit in the first place was a surprise. That it's still going on is a surprise."

U.S. District Judge Paul Friedman was surprised, too.

"I don't know why we're here in federal court to begin with," Friedman told attorneys for both sides in April. "I don't know why this guy thought it was smart to file a lawsuit and lay out all of his private, intimate details."

In that sense, the Washingtonienne lawsuit has become a study into when to make a federal case out of something and when to just let it go away. It's a question lawyers wrestle with all the time.

Lanny Davis, the former special counsel to President Clinton who now advises companies during times of crisis, tells clients to decide whether they want justice or simply to set the record straight and get a message across.

"If you're looking for justice, the court system is the only thing you have," Davis said. "If you're looking to get the full story, good and bad, into one coherent narrative, the court system is perhaps the worst possible forum."

Have it your way ?

2006-12-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

a quick survey for everyone out there. . .

1. when dating do you date one person at a time ?

2. what are the pro's of dating multiple people simultaneously ?

3. what are the con's ?

Me, I prefer to date one person at a time but I gotta be feeling her and feel like I'm getting what I need in return.

The pros are guarding against developing real feelings. I mean 3 first dates in one month. If you are into variety.

See answer # 2

ps. Women please try to be honest with this. . .I promise I wont use it against you in a court of law !

Dope Sick Love

2006-12-28T12:08:00.000-05:00

I was a feind. Became one at 17. She melted my heart instead of cones of ice cream.
Two kids orientated when our friendship was originated then it was like pieces of puzzles, complicated.

I fell in love at 17. I mean fell. On some stomach flippin. nervous, blissfully happy, jr prom, sr prom, and the whole nine. But I didn't understand the moves I was making. I blame it on my pops and my brother. You can expect a 17 to be conscious of self. I didn't become Conscious1 til 25. So, I recently turned 30. Milestone like a muhfucka. Naw. I don't think it's a milestone. No different than Feb 29th this year. I make my own milestones. But back to the topic.

Recently I been headed back to the lab w/o an ass to grab so then I think about all the pals I had. One after another one. I'd touch another one. Then date another one and ask the last if she was done. I get a cravin' like I feind for nicotine but I don't need a cigarette know what I mean ?

I'm feelin dope sick. Detoxing myself from love. I hardened myself and became a cold calculating brother. I been in withdrawal for a decade now. This rehab has not been working. I've tried everything. Clubbin. Alcohol. Tobacco. Crying. Seclusion. Depression. Working Harder. and the list goes on. But I don't get that feeling. I don't smile when a woman I'm dating calls. I don't look at a chic eyeing me and then think about her. I ain't felt no one like that in years. I mean I might smile if I thought I was going to get some. But that ain't all I'm looking for.

They say when a dope head gets out of detox they usually OD cuz they are chasing the feeling they had when they first got high. Which now requires much more dope. I'm chasing that high. I been using. . .but it ain't been the pure ish.

But wait, I got that Kentucky brown, she's giving me that feeling. I'm hot, she is the spoon, and we finna get high off this love.

Because black men read, too....

2006-12-27T11:47:00.000-05:00

...We're proud to bring you the inaugural installment of the BML Book Club. Hell, Oprah did it, why can't we? Not to mention, unlike her show, you're more likely to find a rapper on our couch than a serial fabricator. (Take that, Harpo.)

In all seriousness folks, this is one of the new features we're going to do throughout 2007, where periodically we'll post about a book that one or all of us has read or plans to read. It won't be formulaic, as in, "we recommend this book because it meets x, y, and z, criteria"; instead we'll just choose things that we think you should have in your bookshelf (if you don't own enough books to have a bookshelf, stop reading this, open a new tab to Barnes & noble.com, and hit us back up when you do, you illiterate slug) -- either because they're humorous, or thought-provoking or maybe we just liked the picture on the cover.

So without further delay, selection numero uno comes from friends of the BML family. Authors Natalie Moore and Natalie Hopkinson stopped through Boston and showed y'boy PGS and Skinny G some love on the promo tour for their new book, "Deconstructing Tyrone: A New Look at Black Masculinity in the Hip-Hop Generation". I'll be honest: I haven't started reading the book yet because I was forced to put a bow on my copy and stick it under a tree until Christmas Day, but at least I bought one, showed up a the book signing and dragged a photographer from Boston magazine in off the street to give the homegirls some play. Besides, when you get two sistas writing a book that goes beyond the normal bullshit male bashing so common to discussing black males, how can you NOT show love? (Hint: that link above is to the Amazon.com page where you can BUY THE BOOK. Yeah, you. I said "BUY THE BOOK". These girls gotta eat, too.)

Selection number two, for most of you I'm guessing will fall in the category of "Shit I wanted to put in wifey's stocking in place of that Tiffany's bracelet but I didn't have the balls to." Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", was first published in 2004, but from the faces of a lot of married cats I see, they should update and re-issue this puppy annually. I'll let the author's own description of the book speak for itself:

"...Women no longer understand their own ability to create the relationships and family life that they truly desire. Years ago women were taught by their mothers that they needed to be wise and sensitive and "work" their men -- they knew how to create and maintain a happy and well-functioning relationship using their so called "feminine wiles" in benevolent and mutually satisfying ways. Today, women have replaces these feminine wiles with disdain, hypersensitivity, criticism, bullying and nagging...Dr. Laura explains that emotionally men are "simple" creatures and women only need provide such basic necessities as respect, gratitude, food, sex, and some space for "guy time" in order to achieve the happy home they truly desire."

Happy reading.

Too Much Information...

2006-12-20T12:59:00.000-05:00

I rarely side with Wendy Williams on a lot of things.

However, I must give her temporary amnesty for this interview with Carmen Bryan. (NSFW - not safe for work...I really mean it).

Seriously, I mean there are so many manlaws in this interview you could fill up a legal sized piece of paper (front and back).

Let's get to the excerpt that made me shudder in my computer chair.

Wendy to Carmen: So, you've slept with guys who have slept...with LOTS of women. You say that you caught one STD. Which strain of STD was it?

Carmen to Wendy: Chlamydia (with a smile on her face)

Wendy turns to Shawn (her studio sidekick): Is Chlamydia curable?

Shawn turns to Wendy: Yeah it is curable.

Wendy turns to Carmen: I knew he would know.

Shawn continues talking to Wendy while she's talking to Carmen:
I've never had it but I know it is curable.

Wendy to Carmen: So is that the only STD you've ever had?

Carmen to Wendy: Yes.

Wendy to Carmen: When is the last time you've had an HIV test?

Carmen: In 1999.

Wendy to Carmen: You haven't slept with anyone since 1999?

Carmen to Wendy: No. I wouldn't say that.

Wendy to Carmen: Were you having unprotected sex?

Carmen to Wendy: On occasion.

Wendy to everyone in the studio: Everybody is burning. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y is B-U-R-N-I-N-G. New chairs please.

Wendy finishes this comment as she takes out a can of Lysol and starts spraying in Carmen's direction.

Hence the MANLAW: These days, it is important to know YOUR STATUS. However, it is more important that you know the status of a woman especially if you are going out into the rain without a rain coat. You might catch a cold and that cold might not be curable.

This has been a public service announcement from the brothers at BML.

FUBAR

2006-12-14T14:32:00.000-05:00

In military parlance, this means "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair". It's what they say when a tank or some other piece of vital equipment gets blown up or otherwise damaged to the point where it cannot be fixed. Key thing to remember here is that there's a difference between something being FUBAR'd and being completely destroyed; in some ways a FUBAR is worse because the damaged equipment is still laying around, a visual symbol of a major fuck-up.

Ok, so what's this got to do with Manlaw? A lot, because, as men, we've all FUBAR'd a relationship (if you haven't, you've never had a relationship, or you're just perfect, in which case you're not really a man. Real talk.) It could be the aftermath of the one mistake you made that you'll never really be forgiven for, or the cumulative effect of you not taking seriously signs that a woman is getting tired of your bullshit -- until it's too late. In other cases it may not have to do with a woman at all -- any relationship or important connection can be FUBAR'd by mistakes big and small.

So, brothers, we here at Manlaw invite you to tell us about your FUBARs -- share your stories of lost love, like or whatever that you had no choice but to sit and watch as it stood, damaged but beyond your ability to fix. No worries, you can remain anonymous and we promise not to make (too much) fun of your idiocy in ruining a good thing.

What's the world come to?

2006-12-05T14:49:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, man bites dog. Or there's a freak snowstorm in August. Or a black man gets pulled over by cops who don't shoot at him 100 million times when he reaches for his driver's license.

But rarely does a man get over in divorce court. So rare it is, in fact, that when it happens, it's newsworthy: CBS Sportsline reports today that the former tennis great Chris Evert has to pay out $7 million to get unhitched from her husband. Yeah, you read it right -- a judge, in Florida of all places, let a man walk into court with divorce papers and walk out with cash. Her cash. Cats must be barking at dogs today. Pigs flying. Nelly speaking on Spelman's campus.....

What's next, huh? How about a spray-on condom?

2006-12-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

So during the day I come across weird stories and this one is no different.

I have no manlaw for this. The piece speaks for itself.

Los Angeles Times
Posted November 30 2006, 2:23 PM EST

BERLIN -- German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.

Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, said the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.

"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said. "We're very serious."

Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.

"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said. "We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."

Krause said the plan is to make the product ready for use in about five seconds. He said it would function more effectively as a contraceptive because it would fit better and not slip.

However, before the new condom can be sold in shops, the firm must ensure that the latex is evenly spread when sprayed, as well as optimise the vulcanization process.

Krause hopes the high tech condom, which will be available in different strengths and colours, will on the market by 2008.

He said the spray can would likely cost some 20 euros ($26) as a one-off purchase. The latex cartridges - sufficient for up to 20 applications - would cost roughly 10 euros, he said.

Krause said he had hit upon the idea when considering the difficulties some people faced using condoms, and drew inspiration from spray-on plasters now used in medicine.

What in the hell....

2006-11-30T13:35:00.000-05:00

So yes we have not posted in a while... But today I was fired up so I had to write.
So I went to the lunchroom and my co-workers were at a table discussing things.
So I was told a tale by the female in the group.
She tells me her boyfriend of over a year and half asked for a watch and a suit for Christmas.
She says she will give him the suit but not the watch.
So I say buy that dude his "Cartier".
She says she is not buying the watch because of some old wives tale.
"If you buy a watch, watch him leave you."
I was like what in the hell.
Now full disclosure. My boy had on a watch given by an ex and they broke up.
So then the female goes on by saying, if you get married, all of that goes by the waste side.
I am like is this another way for a woman to get a man to marry them. If that's the case, bump that mess.

MANLAW: When asking for a gift beware of the hidden implications of such a request!

A brief intermission....

2006-11-29T14:08:00.000-05:00

Manlaw fam:

We know, we know. Feels like somebody done disappeared us of late. No worries. I can vouch that Marlo, Chris and Snoop don't have us slumped and limed down in a vacant rowhouse.

To the contrary: As hard as we work to be creative and bring you the best of the best when we're writing, we're working harder when we're in the shadows. In other words, don't count us out. We're still around, lurking, plotting, planning, putting the G4 in the hangar and the Maybach 57 in the garage...only so we can ride the 62 out to the tarmac where the G6 is waiting. Mile high club, baby.

So bear with us. We'll be back before you know it, shinin' wit suede muthafuckin Ballys on. In the meantime, relax and enjoy the archive....

Ask Manlaw Part 1

2006-10-30T16:51:00.000-05:00

This is the first set of questions sent to brothersmanlaw@yahoo.com. Remember we will not reveal the names of those who submit questions.

Do you feel that a man and a woman can truly be platonic friends despite any lingering attraction?

SPCHRIST response

No. If one party (male or female) thinks the other is attractive...there is always the chance that party will test the curiosity in the future.

SKINNY G response
There will always be a sense of uneasiness when it comes to one party being attracted to a female friend. That party will attempt to gain the attention of the opposite sex by doing things that they would not do with other friends. It can't be a true platonic relationship with those attractive feelings.

Why do you think some women never give "good guys" a chance in favor of the "bad boys"?

SPCHRIST response
If women actually gave "good guys" a chance and stopped chasing "bad boys", they would have absolutely nothing to complain about.

SKINNY G response
I recall when I was a young G in high school and the rep on me was quoted by a female friend about me. "Greg, I could not date you because you are too nice and I would feel bad because I would cheat on you and you would not cheat on me."
I was like what kind of bullcrap is that. So as I got older I also experienced that women are more intreagued by guys who have a sense of excitement. It's usually those guys who live on the edge. But my question is how do you know good guys don't live on the edge too, but it's a different type.
But today I find that as ladies get older they tend to go for less drama after dealing with the wanna be thugs of yesteryear.

Back to the grill again !

2006-10-23T13:52:00.000-04:00

You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:

What would you change?

Gooders Girl posed the question. Allow me to answer. I will keep it dating specific as I'm sure you are not interested in a complete life story.

First, I would change the fact that my father never gave me nor my older brother the game. As my role model and the man I trust the most and am closest too, this is who I wanted to help explain the game to me. For this exercise game will be the same as knowledge. Ma Dukes gave me a science book at 11 or 12, every subsequent lesson was self taught or learned through; books, porn, the fuzzy playboy station that we didn't really get, high school peers, experience.

Second, I wish I understood the responsibility of it. Especially emotionally, not only to my self but to the girls involved. My first time was her first time, but for me it was just a conquest because I was tired of being the virgin in the group when the cool guys talked. Her, it was she really liked me. I ended up hurting her because I didn't understand game. She and I are platonic friends now.

I would change my first true love. Well I wouldn't change much. Just the fact that I took it for granted. The fact that I didn't understand that work needed to be done consistently for our love to be maintained. I thought love was self sustaining. It wasn't. She and I were platonic friends before lovers and are platonic friends now after our physical love.

I would change the fact that I took all of my experiences with women and for years used them to exploit their feelings more efficiently. At the same time exploiting my self, my character. I would change the fact that I negatively influenced young men to behave like me and mistreat young women. Hell, occasionally I still catch myself doing it.

I would change. . .now that I think of it. I wouldn't change it for me, because without me walking that path who's to say I would understand the game as I do now. I would change it for a son if God blesses me with one. For a daughter, I would buy a shotgun !

disclaimer: goodersgirl please don't take this post as anymore than me finding your question one that I wished to answer out loud.

WBML-TV

2006-10-23T12:55:00.000-04:00

for all of you that subscribe to brothersmanlaw television you may have to adjust the contrast of your set before viewing. . .

I had a couple things on my mind I wanted to share. . .It's been that kind of couple of weeks ! I meant to disagree with some of the things I've read since the last time I posted. I am well aware that this is brothersmanlaw, I am also aware as I hope all of you are that sometimes brothers fight, sometimes they disagree, sometimes they just don't see eye to eye. I was reading phantom zone and I felt like Greg didn't do me justice. And in the interest of contrast and balance, I wanted to present my difference of opinion.

A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;

I can roll with both of these. I always believed the woman usually knows at-a-glance. You might be able to talk your way into some. But 7 times out of 10 you talk yourself out of some. Holla if ya hear me !

C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)

My first problem here is that there are so many more categories(ie; sugar daddies, pimps, . . .but that's a whole nother post.) My direct issue is to say that "friends" = emasculated. I mean damn, I have female friends that I have never slept with for a myriad of reasons including they ain't feelin me like that but should I not be "friends" with them ?
It makes me ask myself, can I be friends with a woman I am attracted to and not try to sleep with her. Shit, I hope so. I have female friends who are married who weren't married or unnatractive when we became friends. I hope to get married. Should I warn my future wife that all these women immediately want to sleep with me, might be interested in sleeping with me or are going to emasculate me.
I love to believe the first one is the most true. . .gimme a minute to think about that. Ahhh yes ! I mean I did look through my phone book last night wanting to get some and saw a bunch of women's names that were just platonic. I wish I had a found a non-platonic relationship, but this wasn't To be true not last night. Too bad I didn't get any numbers off of my reformed pimp routine, I was projected thourgh December. But let me not be digruntled. Greg did drop some gems about men hiding your physical interests. I wholeheartedly agree. Fellas, be slow and sweet if you are slow and sweet. Not if you are a ho and street. And the manlaw produced was "be who you be" is close to my highschool yearbook quote penned 13 years ago.

A true brothersmanlaw passed down to me from my brother when i was 16:
("As long as you're you, I'll be me")

as far as the bad boys getting all the chics. . it's true women love a bad boy but them cats don't last. . .and good women don't want them anyway. . .

now before I go, before the comments begin, let me leave you with this. I ain't writing to get a rise out of you, okay a little. I'm writing cuz I enjoy sharing my thoughts. I ain't baggin blogger broads (broads only used for aliteration, i swear !) . I ain't trying to come off as the sensitive blogger. Besides, most of ya'll don't know me from Adam. I am trying to provide contrast to the blog, the same contrast that i also possess in my thoughts, a different mindset to the party. So please rather than trying to diagnose or expose, attempt to understand. Cuz on the real, "Game always recognizes game" and ya'll see it because I didn't even have to mention no names.

next post is gooders girl inspired from this comment: You told a tale, okay a personal one, testifying that you are a changed man -- but my question is:

What would you change?

STAY TUNED

A new feature

2006-10-20T07:20:00.000-04:00

In an attempt to spur more conversation manlaw will embark on a new feature called "Ask Manlaw".

We will answer questions based on your experiences in a blog entry. The brothers of manlaw will attempt to give our expert opinions.

We will not reveal the person's who submits questions.

If you want to ask the brothers any question we will post our responses. Email at brothersmanlaw@hotmail.com.

The Phantom Zone

2006-10-17T12:20:00.000-04:00

During life men will meet a number of women. They will encounter women they are attracted to and there are women they will befriend.
We will focus on the combination of the two.
There is the notion that women women say they want the man that they love to be their best friend also.
There are some women who say that may not be the case.
It is my belief that women are full of shit when they say they want their man to also be their best friend.
When a woman meets a man they have three categories to place a man into:

A. Guys they want to immediately have sex with;
B. Guys they might be interested in having sex with;
C. Guys who will forever be emasculated into "friends" (translation: no sex -- ever -- no matter what you do or how hard you try.)

But the main reason that many men fall into the "friend" trap is because they act like friends at the outset of the relationship (or very soon after). Because they're shy, nervous around women, scared of rejection, insecure, or just desperate, they hesitantly hang around in the background, fumbling and sweating, hoping women will notice them and get the hint that they're interested.
In other words, they cloak their interest and shy away from openly declaring their sexual intentions. They are not sexually confident men. They don't want to expose themselves to rejection. But the truth is, you can't act like a friend and expect a woman to be attracted to you.
Women are attracted to male strength and masculinity (just as men are attracted to femininity). This is why bad boys (who are sexually confident men) are never friends -- they're always sexual partners.
However, women complain about these same "bad boys" as the men that they don't want
for a mate.
But men who are gentlemanly, accommodating, sincere and warm are the guys who are generally at the bottom of the totem pole.

MANLAW: Fellas be who you be.
I have been told by many women in my past that they didn't appreciate the person that I am because of their perceptions. But I have always been consistent in my approach to life. If you are a stone cold gentlemen be that. If you are like 50 Cent. Be who you be and don't let the ladies change who you are because if you change, you are living a lie for yourself and for your woman.
If you fall into that friend zone, don't fret, in the long run she will regret the label.

Game Time Decisions

2006-10-10T15:20:00.000-04:00

Doug Williams, a rising black comedian, once did a sketch on BET’s renowned comedy show ComicView. Williams compared a relationship to a football team, where the head coach is the woman and the quarterback is the man. Each party has a 50 percent interest in the success/or failure of the team.

As any sports reporter, like me, will tell you, the success of a football team always comes down to the relationship of the head coach and the quarterback. The team will not thrive if there is dissension in the ranks between the head coach and any star player, which is usually the quarterback.

Why do I bring this up?

Simple.

In life, I hate liars, cheaters and thieves but somewhere on the second tier of people I despise are head coaches that can’t make a game time decision (a.k.a. also known as the indecisive woman syndrome). A game time decision is a choice that has to be made with the clocking ticking down and the game (in this case the relationship) on the line.

Hence, the MANLAW.

Fellas beware of the head coach that routinely fails at making game-time decisions before the clock runs out. If she can’t make up her mind when it is time you need to run fast, run far and run like Forrest Gump until she’s no longer viewable in the rearview mirror.

I have always measured the character of a head coach based on how that coach handled adversity. Any coach can make a decision when they have a billion options and things are going smoothly, but a true coach that I would play my ass for is a coach that I can trust in the clutch.

What happens when a head coach continually fails with clock management? The quarterback loses confidence in their head coach and starts calling his own audibles at the line of scrimmage. Very soon, the quarterback and the head coach are getting into a highly visible spat on the sideline. The relationship goes down hill from there and soon you have an avalanche in which only ownership can stop with a decision about which party do you keep, the head coach or the quarterback?

As the cliché goes, if you don’t know your history you are doomed to repeat it. In about 80 percent of the cases, ownership sides with the player. Fellas remember this manlaw the next time you have a head coach that is playing not to lose rather than playing to win the game.

Ladies...The Truth Hurts!

2006-10-04T14:40:00.000-04:00

So I came across a real thought provoking email from this brother, who will remain nameless.

(written by a brother)
Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch. Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home". Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us Black Males do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a Black Woman takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally. Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black Women have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying.... SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TOA MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODYIF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT. BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that." No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies. "Just take me as I am or have nothing @ all...."

MANLAW: Just tell the truth and be really honest with yourselves. Remember, the blame should first start with you.

"a change gon' come"

2006-09-30T22:26:00.000-04:00

I once heard a pimp say "You can't have just one, cuz having one is so close to having none !" I used to really run with that line, I had to be about 23/24. I was really feeling myself. I had what is commonly referred to as a "stable". I was dating 4-5 women regularly. And that don't count the late nights, the one nighters, etc. . .On top of that, I moved with a pack of wolves. We would move in a minimum of 3 maximum of 6. All of us had a slightly different style different look, different demeanor.We appealed to a wide demographic. Lol. But when we were together the hunt was on. We would be in the club, cookout, carnival, bar, what have you. Silent signals, with a look you could call for assistance to distract the hater, come scoop the drunk chic, or the biggest of them all; takingone for the team. You know the group of ladies on the dance floor dancing in a circle that all men are scared of. We could break the circle with ease. By one, barging right in and matching up one to one. Sometimes we create our own closed circle enticing them to enter. We had legendary nights filled with conquests, subplots, and twists that hollywood would love. At this point we been cliquing for 7/8 years. Me, I started at 17. I was working spending money each week pretending I was balling. Bad Boy was in charge from 1am-2am. I would blow most of my check trying to buy a new outfit, droppin cash at the bar, renting cars. And I was going out 2, 3, 4 time a week. Don't let it be a long weekend that we would dub "keep it movin weekend". We was frontin' and stuntin' hard !

Fast forward to current day. These days most of the wolves with the exception of me have wives, children, have been born again, and drive minivans instead of sedans and coupes. The life I used to live, the thoughts I used to have, still affect me. Because what you don't see in the above paragraph, is alcohol abuse. What you don't see is me losing the most special woman in my life. (family not included) What you don't see is the heartache I put her through. And how I repeated the behavior with other women that were close to me. I consistently employed the "never quit 'em" tactic. And meanwhile, I thought I was the man. The day I woke up and realized that I was not a man, because I was living a lie. I pledged that morning not to lie to a woman again. But life goes on. And lessons are learned. So these days, I try hard not to hurt a woman. Karma is a muthafucka. And I done spent a lot of lonely nights in the last 3 years. The women who were special to me, some proposing to me, some helplessly in love, have all sadly but thankfully for their own good, moved on. So where does that leave me. Yearning for love. Learning how to again. Learning how to use charm yet be sincere. How to be mysterious, but still be clear. I'm learning how to be me again.

Here lies my dilemna. The game has changed. The names have changed. And I still have residue from my old ways. So, I operate on only two premises when "dating". The first which I prefer is balls to the wall. All or nothing. I did this a lil less than a year ago, I got a girlfriend, it lasted a month and a week. I mean I don't enjoy the fronting, the posturing, the games, and my ego is way to big to be second string so lets committ to getting to know each other exclusively with the guards down, and if you get to know me and ain't feeling me cool. Unless, I'm functioning on my second mode of operation which is best summed up "we just fucking". Now, I much rather have meaningful short (if need be) relationships and learn and practice loving than just fucking cuz i done spent a decade just fucking.
But I find most women are scared to go all out from jump street. And I can respect that. But it leaves me with plan b or confused about what the hell i'm doing.

So where do I go from here ? Forward !

manlaw: A real man is capable of loving one woman with all his being !

ps. all theories and principals expressed are the sole property of conscious1 and are subject to change without notice. . .

Never Quit 'Em

2006-09-20T14:39:00.000-04:00

"Never quit on a woman, Gregory. Make them quit you."

That is the quote I hear everytime I go home and visit my other dad.
My other "dad" was my long time neighbor. I have been knowing he and his family since I was six years old and our relationship is father and son like.

So what does he mean by that?
He means never close ties with a woman you are getting down with, even if you guys break up. If you end your sexual relationship, it is because she said so.

He also means that even if you move on to another woman, make sure you have your other woman on standby in case your relationship with new girl fizzles.

So I asked him supposed the woman is crazy and abusive?

"He maintains never quit on them because you never know."

He also means you can still be cool with a woman and ten years after the last "hit", you can still get some if you never quit on her and the opportunity presents itself.

So today, I make CJS's eddict an official MANLAW:

Never quit on a woman, make them quit you. The only time you quit on a woman is when you are MARRIED, engaged or in a serious relationship. And fellas you can quit on a woman when you are frankly tired of that conquest.

Fight For Your Rights

2006-09-19T15:28:00.000-04:00

So it's been mighty quiet on this forum. I know I have been because of other assignments have not allowed me to write in this area. However, I have run into something that the fellas would appreciate and the ladies will say, well good for her.
So the New York Post reported on Sunday that New England Patriots football coach Bill Belichick must answer tough questioning from attorneys in his divorce case against his wife. It starts with the phone records. The gist of the story is that the husband is blaming the Super Bowl coach for breaking up his union with his wife and he is going all out to defend his honor. But before the manlaw is rendered, here is the story.

A judge has thrown New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick for a loss - allowing divorce lawyers to grill the gridiron guru on his alleged relationship with a New Jersey woman, The Post has learned.
Belichick, whose team squares off in the Meadowlands today against the Jets, faces a legal blitz by the woman's angry husband, who accuses the veteran coach of wrecking his marriage.
Morristown Superior Court Judge Thomas Manahan granted a motion by Vincent Shenocca last month to let his lawyers subpoena Belichick in Massachusetts and question him under oath about his involvement with Sharon Shenocca, 41. She met Belichick in the 1980s when she was a receptionist for the New York Giants and he was the team's defensive coordinator.
The judge also issued an order that Belichick could be subpoenaed to produce all bank, credit-card and other financial records over the last five years that show any payments to or for Sharon. Her husband suggests Belichick has secretly financed his estranged wife's "extravagant lifestyle" by giving her cash, paying her bills, compensating her for "services rendered," or funneling money to Sharon's sister and brother-in-law in New York.
Sharon, who is unemployed and has no "visible means of support," her husband claims in court filings, enjoys "membership in an upscale health club, the constant attention of a personal trainer, a vacation in Jamaica, a beach-home rental at the Jersey Shore for the entire summer, purchases of furniture and new clothes, and travel by chartered jet."
Vincent Shenocca, 42, a construction supervisor, also demanded that Sharon provide documents to back up her claim that she has gotten by with money "borrowed from family and friends."
Lawyers for both sides did not return phone calls from The Post. It was unclear whether Belichick's deposition has yet occurred or been scheduled.
Sharon urged the judge to deny her husband's request to question Belichick, calling him a "public figure." But Manahan found "good and sufficient cause exists" for Belichick's deposition.
Belichick is also being asked to hand over any records showing if he paid for any of Sharon's living expenses, vacations, travel, hotel stays, or purchase or rental of any real estate. The subpoena covers any money that Belichick turned over to Sharon's sister, Theresa Radigan, or her husband Ned Massey.
Since the increasingly bitter breakup made headlines in Boston and New York, Sharon has fought back. She filed papers in July accusing Vincent of leaking the case to newspapers to "create scandal and innuendo," and to generate sympathy for his side. Saying the publicity could hurt their two children, ages 5 and 7, she asked Manahan to seal the public records, which he has not done.
Vincent filed for divorce last February, citing "a lack of intimacy for at least a year," and his wife's "constant phone calls" and refusal to stop "accepting large monetary gifts" from another man.
Sharon insisted her friendship with the man was platonic and "never hidden" from her husband. She also said she shared the money she received with Vincent.
Belichick was identified in subsequent court papers as the other man.
Vincent has told The Post he stayed home with the kids while Belichick flew his wife and her sister to the 2004 Super Bowl.
Belichick split up with his wife of 28 years, Debby, in 2004.
Sharon has not responded to requests for comment.

MANLAW: Fellas if your wife decides to leave your ass for another man, be sure you go out like a soldier. Don't punk out. Don't let slide off your back and pay both alimony and child support. It looks like the dude above is setting himself up for such a scenerio.
But...if you knew your woman was balling like that for a very long time, you should at least get some benefit from it if you are not going to for the juggular.

Red Hot Equals

2006-09-12T00:36:00.000-04:00

Part One: Short & Sweet (or, an unbelievable lesson from the kitchen) :

I don't want to be asked ANY questions about this, but realer words I've never spoken. Brothers, I know some of us like to cook, and occasionally we try to get fancy with it. That's cool. But if you ever, ever, ever, for any reason, are handling jalapenos or chili peppers while cooking, and afterwards need to scratch or otherwise adjust your testicles...wash your damn hands first. Whatever's in those things that burns the hell out of your tongue, well, let's say that ain't the only thing they'll light up.

Ok, humor at my dumbass expense aside, today's Part Deux deals with questions of equality. Specifically my own personal belief that people have taken the concept of "equality" too far, sometimes to their own, and maybe even society's detriment. Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

In the last couple of weeks, I've had at least two women ask me whether I thought men, for lack of a better word, are less manly these days. One asked as she lamented how many weak brothers she came across on the dating scene; another asked as she pondered where things might have gone wrong with her 20 year old brother, who is becoming more of a no-account by the day. The boy's living rent-free yet refuses to accept basic responsibilities like doing dishes, cleaning up, helping with utility bills or pitching in to help a sick, down-on-her-luck raise. (Slanguistics note: in the 412 area code, "raise" means "mother".)

My answer to their question about men: absolutely. I think my generation is less manly, in many senses of the word, than previous ones. Why?

Because over the last few decades, there has been a tremendous shift in social paradigms between the sexes. Many are for the better: no one could argue that American society is worse off because women have attained a higher level of parity in salary, professional opportunities and overall social status with men, and things will be better when all disparity is eliminated. But what happens when "parity" gets misconstrued as "equality"?

Let me step back and reiterate: there's anything wrong with parity in society, i.e., parity of rights, responsibilities and the ability to get ahead on every level. But I think we need look no further than our civil rights movement to dissect how "equality" can be a concept gone tremendously wrong. When the movement was about parity -- i.e., equal rights and protections -- many black communities provided for their own with businesses, churches, and in some places, their own defense forces (see Forrest Whitaker's "Deacons for Defense"). Still, basic civil rights and protections were necessary for those communities to achieve parity in society and truly thrive.

But "parity" gave way to "equality", civil rights became a struggle for integration and in many respects assimilation. Many of the strongest black institutions died and left were communities that weren't communities at all, "equal" in the eyes of the law, but with no real parity, and remain without economic and social anchors to this day. Again, why (I know I'm getting long winded -- stick with me y'all)?

Because there is no real "equality" in any sense of the word. Equality means "sameness". Blacks and whites are NOT culturally the same in this country, never have been for the most part, and likely won't ever be. That's a good thing, so long as there are protections to ensure parity, which as a concept is akin to civil rights. Same goes for men and women. Should women have parity with men in society? No question in my mind. But are we "equal", as in the same? Absolutely not. I'm not a woman. Don't behave like one. Can't behave like one.

But many people, I think, take "equality" too literally. And when that happens, people who should celebrate their yin and yang as a positive that fosters balance in the context of parity, trying to occupy the same space. Black folks are trying to be white -- going along to get along -- but never making it. Women are taking on the mantra of "independent sistas" -- proclaiming no need of a man and usurping in many instances roles that men are likely better suited for (ladies, please don't bristle at that. I'm sorry, there are just some things that men are better suited to do, even though you CAN do them. The opposite is also true).

So when you have women trying to occupy that same space as men, what's the next logical step: men, as "equals" would begin to occupy the same space that women did. Thus, less manly men. Your thoughts?

Trapped in the Closet

2006-09-07T15:55:00.000-04:00

So I was chilling in the airport in New Orleans when I ran across this story in my hometown paper.

Husband shoots man found hiding in bedroom closet
He batters wife; intruder has emergency surgery

From staff reports
After he returned from work to his Uptown home early Monday and found a man hiding in a bedroom closet, Gregory S. Becknel shot the man in the stomach, turned on his wife and hit her several times in the face, New Orleans police said.
Becknel, 39, then called police, who found the man in an upstairs closet suffering from a gunshot wound.
The man, Marvin D. Bell, 40, underwent emergency surgery at Elmwood Trauma Center after the 6 a.m. incident. He was in stable condition Monday afternoon.
Becknel's wife, whose name was not released, suffered a swollen right eye and a swollen, cut lip.
Police transported Becknel, who lives in the 500 block of Soniat Street, to Orleans Parish Prison and booked him with attempted second-degree murder and domestic abuse.
Officers recovered a .40-caliber semi-automatic handgun believed to have been used in the incident, as well as one spent casing.

MANLAW: Brothas, if a woman tells you to run to a closet, yo ass better find the nearest window. Ladies, if you have a man and want to get down with another brother, find a safer environment to get some ass.

In love with a fantasy

2006-09-02T19:25:00.000-04:00

We've all dated this chic at some point, and if you haven't, you will. We don't hate her, generally, because usually she means well. Let's say her heart's in the right place, but her priorities, well, they're a different story.

The chic of whom I speak is Miss Misdirected, as in misguided and confused about her priorities. She's the woman who is constantly telling you about what she wants out of her life or relationship, but whose actions say tell a completely different story. This takes many forms, so in the unlikely event you've not yet run into her (which means she's around the corner plotting on you -- RIGHT NOW), allow me to run down some examples of her ill behavior.

Miss Misdirected is the woman you've dated for a while who pledges her undying love for you, for whom all conversations tear down a path toward matrimony: When will it be? Why not sooner? Why not now? Unfortunately for her, when it comes to her outlook on actually doing wifely things -- cooking, keeping the muhfuggin house clean, giving you the Billy Clint relaxation treatment on a regular basis, et cetera -- Miss Misdirected wants to flip the script. Why, she'll ask, would I want to do that for somebody who doesn't know whether he wants to be with me?

How about WHY would any man want to be with a woman who asks such silly questions? This woman would be better off having she and her friends dress up in wedding gowns just to experience her fantasy, and then return to her regular life afterwards.

But let's not wallow in trivial things here: how often she cleans up or gets on her knees does not a woman make. A real sign you're dealing with Miss Misdirected is that she's not yet grasped what real priorities are, and she wants to project her own immaturity onto others, especially YOU. She wants the man, but doesn't believe she's got any work to do on herself to get him. She has a so-so relationship, but believes the only compromising that should be done to make it better should be on his part. She's just fine, thank you. She wants a better career, better life, better whatever -- but just can't see that her own, old, bad habits are holding her back.

But make no mistake, fellas: if you recognize the symptoms of this ailment but don't see them in your own woman, then Miss Misdirected just might be you.

For old times sake

2006-08-31T14:09:00.000-04:00

Hey, girl, long time no see
Do you have a little time to spend with me
I wanna know what’s been going onIn your life, huh, talk to me, baby
Your hair, perfume you wear
Brings back memories, oh, of you and me
You look so fine, you blow my mind
All over again, ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...So much has happened in my life
Since we parted
What about you
Now I’ve got myself together
And I know just what I want
And right now,I know that it’s you, you
Rock me tonight for old times sake
Would you baby, hey
Roll with me tonight for old times sake
Ooh...ooh...ooh...oh...oh...
From Freddie Jackson's Rock Me Tonight

This song is the inspiration of the next manlaw, which was inspired by Arizona Cardinals rookie quarterback Matt Leinart. Leinart is in this manlaw because apparently his on again off again girlfriend is expecting to deliver a boy in October. She was a basketball player for USC, where Leinart won the Heisman Trophy two seasons ago. Apparently the girl’s father spread this news, only weeks after Leinart signed a multi-million dollar deal. Now old girl says Matt should focus on this season and we will deal with things after ward. Manlaw states that Leinart read the wrong defense in this situation and if you are getting blitzed from the past, they least you should do is wear some damn Trojans. Damn, you would think since you played for USC for five years that the team nickname (Trojans) would stick to your head. Manlaw 2: If you are going to turn back the hands of time then one must be prepared for ANY consequences of such a move.

To tell the truth or not

2006-08-30T10:01:00.000-04:00

Well it's time for me to get back on the horn here. My main man Conscious has been taking a beating, but he is still standing. I am also back on my blog at www.leejournalism.blogspot.com.

But lets get down to business.

It is always interesting when I debate with a good friend who shall remain nameless.
The last debate was on women and weight.
So she asks me: "So Greg, do I look fat?"
"Then she says be careful how you answer"
People know me. I will say what I have to say and have no fear of punishment.
But I said "You look fine, you are always fine" but, you could lose a couple of pounds.
She then gets mad and say you are not supposed to say that to a woman.
See this is what I have a problem with. This is another Burger King situation. You can't have it your way all the time.
What do I mean?
Women always say they want our honest opinion. They don't want to be lied to.
But when it comes to weight, they want you to be PC or come up with a sweet way to say no dear, you look fine.
Or dear, I am going to the gym because I need to work it out and I need you to come with me to provide inspiration.
Why do I have to use some mind game to get yo ass to the gym?
I thought women wanted honesty?
So which is it ladies?

A Letter to the Brothers

2006-08-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

Brothers,

Let’s take a second and thank God for making us men. As I move through my day, I see many different people and many different things. While we men are definitely the less attractive of the two sexes, I’m quite okay with that. As a sacrifice we have been able to retain a good grasp on logic except when we are angry or horny. Aside from that we are simple beings. Rather than go on and on about how men are, let me list a few reasons that make me question the logic of women.

1. The menstrual cycle. We all know women are completely incapable of logic during this time. There are 52 weeks in a year, and if you’re lucky a woman is sane for 40 of those. (I know it’s a blessing to give birth ! You go a head and keep that blessing, I’ll get in where I fit in – pun intended)

2. Footwear. Now I know damn well no logical person would walk around on there tippie-toes all damn day on any damn day no matter how good it makes their calves and ass look. Let me not fail to mention shoes that jam all of your toes together or worst of all, shoes where the pinky toe is not even on the sole. What’s up with that ? Did the pinky toe do something wrong ?

3. This one might set you back a lil. Bras. I was riding home on the train and I was noticing the difference between women’s endowments. As I noticed size, shapes, and elasticity, I wondered who came up with the bra ? I looked for the logic behind it. Was it for safety ? comfort ? And as the woman across from me dug at her strap and the strip of sweat that was forming underneath, I knew it wasn’t comfort. Then, if it’s for the look, I saw quite a few men on the same train that could have benefited from a push up (pun intended). What logical purpose does it serve ?

4. Make-Up. I’m a fan of the au-natural. I don’t mind a lil make up, some color on the cheeks. But damn, If I had to put on lipstick (I hate lipstick), lengthen my eyelashes, eye liner, eye brows, foundation, etcetera-etcetera !

Add the fact that I have yet to meet a woman that can hook up a surround sound component system. Or master any complex electrical unit. Don’t let this detract from a woman’s God given beauty, power, and other gifts. But some of the things women do on a daily basis are in the words of Mr. Spock of the planet Vulcan “illogical”.
Now ladies, do what you do, just know why I wonder about your mental stability.

On behalf of the brothers let’s send the women a big K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sistas)
And to the fellas, if there are any other issues regarding logic, please share.

A memo from the bullshitting professionals....

2006-08-22T14:41:00.000-04:00

Ladies…leave the bullshitting to the professionals…in this case the male species. Manlaw 3:20

Men are the presidents, CEOs and chairmen of the boards when it comes to BULLSHITTING, Inc. We built this empire and we will surely protect our interests for now and forever more.

Exhibit A:
My boy has been dating his girlfriend on-and-off for 9 years. His girlfriend is yearning for that diamond ring and the house with a two-car garage. They’ve already got kids and he takes care of them well. He’s told me that he’s straight as far as marriage is concerned…so in simple terms as my girls En Vogue once sang she’s “never gonna get it…neva….eva…gonna get it.” The bullshit timer is still ticking and she’s still with him.

Back to the foundation of my thesis: ladies…leave the bullshitting to the professionals…in this case the male species.

Exhibit B:
The reason women shouldn’t bullshit is because their lineage (if you believe the Christian theology) is inherently flawed thanks to the first women name Eve. Ya’ll know the Bible story, God said don’t eat the fruit and of course bullshitting Eve got greedy and f$cked ya’ll up for everlasting generations. Now, many women are born with a defective bullshitting gene in their DNA.

How can I say that?

Well, that has to be the only reason good-natured, fine, got-it-together black women fall prey to bullshitting men all the time. Ya’ll are always willing to take a chance on a brother with rough edges and severe baggage.

You think we are doing that for ya’ll? Hell f$cking no.

Ya’ll also know you’ve got at least one girlfriend (maybe two…if your very unlucky) that burns up your anytime minutes to tell you about her bullshitting man. She tells you the same story. You give her the same advice. The result is always the same. Status quo.

Bullshitting in full effect.

The problem is women don’t understand the fundamental concept behind bullshitting. You can only bullshit with someone that is naïve enough to fall for it. So, in this case ladies you are not givers but genetically predisposed to receive bullshit. It is your choice or not to accept it.

So, what happens when women try to bullshit? More often than not, ladies you play yourselves in the process. You always pick a good man to bullshit and it almost always backfires in your face.

Why?

Men are certified bullshitters and we recognize that you’re a wannabe bullshitter from the jump. We will not tell you this right away…but we’ll let you breathe on your own for a while because we all know at some point ya’ll going to run out of oxygen.

It is at that point we gently remind you to "leave the bullshitting to the professionals...in this case the male species" with the breath that we saved listening to you.

On Some John Kerry Ish !

2006-08-16T14:57:00.000-04:00

This is part rant, part question so bear with me. I am going to share with you a few scenarios and then tell you what I think about each. Please know that I apply some form or fashion of brother's man law to each.

1. I had a girlfriend in December and January just passed. Due to differences we both checked out emotionally and quickly broke up. Shortly there after, I being Conscious, saw the err in my ways. I had taken the lazy route, not communicating my emotions and frustrations expecting her to know automatically. I had also lost a woman who I considered a friend and had really grown fond of and enjoyed conversing with. I had also lost a very passionate and beautiful lover. So, while I didn't think I could salvage the relationship, I did want to salvage the friendship. So, I invited her out to dinner. She declined by stating "I don't recycle relationships". So, I said cool. Then I became insulted by the fact that if she couldn't accept a free meal then we really aren't friends. I kept it movin. I see her spot me downtown, she walks over and gives me a hug and some small talk. Now if you can't eat a meal on me then why hug me or chat me up. A week or so later she invites me to lunch. I accept (i'm not a complete assh*le).
But the day of, I call out of work cuz i'm sick. I email her to let her know and she doesn't even respond. Sent another email apologizing, still no response. So here's what it is. If I see her again she needs to keep it movin or expect a severe barrage of verbs, adjectives, and adverbs, with a couple of nouns here and there. Either, she f's with me or she doesn't not both.

2. When I was like 21 I was seeing this 17 year old. Shut Up. It's only 4 years difference. Anyway, I dated her for a few years, treated her badly, not like abuse but definitely not the best of ways. You know she was my young thing and I was in the streets hard. So, she would get late nights, maybe a weekend here or there. But I taught her alot. I was her best friend. I confided in her as she did me. But of course she was coming into her own and she wanted to be in the streets too. So, I told her I knew she wanted to do her thing and I stayed her friend as she dated other guys, other girls, etc. Fast Forward like 4 years and I've grown up some, so has she. I come at her on some real ish. Like why don't you come live with me, be my woman like we used to speak about. Naw, she wanted to get it crunk and move to the ATL. I pleaded. Aiight maybe not pleaded but I tried to convince her to stay but to no avail. She was out. Living the life - clubbin', picked up the slang, the accent, got a lil thicker. . .I tried to stay close through phone and email but she was feeling her self. Started dating an Atlanta Hawk who now plays in Dallas (I was secretly hating on him throughout the finals). Which of course ends their relationship. She visits Boston last summer. I took her to Charlie's on Newbury Street. We had a great time just hanging out and kicking it. No sex. She calls me from the "A" a few months later like "I'm pregnant" -
(It ain't me, I just said no sex.) Now, she has a son. . .the kids father wants nothing to do with either and guess where we are now ? Right, Con gets the phone call and IMs saying "I miss you" "I haven't heard from you" "I want to move back to Boston" "I want you to see my son" "Do you think we could date if I came home" -

(insert sound of needle scratching off of record here)

Are you serious ? I tried to do it right with you. I would have gave this woman my seed. I offered to share my home. You didn't want any of that. Now, faced with the reality that she is not where she wants to be, and has no man, and only now is it beginning to dawn on her that she should have taken a left at Albuquerque. So, I'm supposed to pick up the slack of this bum ass dude ? He ain't even the issue.

3. Last one. . I had to do 3 for the stripes (It's a Boston thing).
Last summer, I met this woman and we hit it off. We became cool and maintained mostly a highly charged physical relationship. Afterwork private cool down sets. Rockets in flight, Sunday afternoon delight. Episodes like that. One catch. She had a man in NY. So on a few occasions she would show regret or remorse and I gave her the option of not messing with me (which I shouldn't have to give her) or to get serious with me. She chose neither. She actually chose to start sleeping with a friend of mine that I introduced her to. Hey, i don't hate the player. I don't even hate the game. I mean if she wasn't sleeping with him. It would just be someone else, I didn't know. Anyway. Eventually, things became too much for her. I empathized. I told her I didn't judge her. She is a grown ass woman. By the way she was going to NY every other week to see her man. But back to the story. One day I get a voicemail with some cat talking greazy on my voicemail from a train station with a girl in the background crying on 3 way. (Please refer to previous post about keeping my name and number out of your boyfriends reach). She later called IMed me, admitted it was her and her man and asked me not to contact her in any way. no phone, no IM, no email, nada. Which is cool, I keeps it movin'.

Friday that just passed. I was out doing flyers outside a club and I see three chics, I walk over and as they turn I see her, she lights up, walks over to me, hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. Then maybe two days ago leaves a comment on my blog about us being kindred spirits and best friends forever and hoping that I find peace and happiness because she has. My first reaction was who does this _____ think she is ? I been peaceful and happy. Don't try to get all holier than I and be preaching down to me. And how is hugging me and kissing me on the cheek, and then writing to me consistent with no contact ?

With all that being said: Am I buggin or are these women ? Are they trying to be cordial ? Cuz, I can deal with people walking by me and not speaking. I am a Bostonian involved in politics, that shit happens everyday.

Brother's manlaw: you might have heard this one before "Either love me or leave me alone"

It ain't what you know but who you know !

2006-08-14T07:35:00.000-04:00

Allow me to re-introduce myself. Conscious1 aka Mr. Sixseventeen aka International Man of Mystery. I operate on several planes. But there are someplaces I just don’t like my name to be. For example; don’t say my name to your boyfriend, don’t say my name in court, and keep my name out of the streets. I want to speak about the last one. I used to do my thing. I mean I have been in the Boston nightlife since 17 at Pollyestas. And I find women to be the most beautiful creatures on the earth. I am also fully aware that women are raised to be emotional beings and they like to talk, often about men. So, I learned at a young age that women would tell their friends about you. What you bought them, what you said, what you did, and how long you did it . . .So I became very selective about who I saw and in what capacity. I stayed away from the popular chics that everyone wanted because chances are they spoke to a lot of people which would put more people in my biz. I tended to look towards the chics that played sports, you know ill body but not really popular, maybe two or 3 real friends, not concerned with popularity. Later, it would be the quiet one at the bar tapping her foot, dressed conservative, wanting to dance but no ones asking because her ass ain’t hanging out. I’m at her. See jealousy nad hating ran rampant in the mid to late 90s. Brother’s that can’t dance, or had no game, or weren’t good looking would salt if they saw you too much especially in the company of a young woman that they were interested in. Worse case scenarios: gossip, prank phone calls, ice grills, and maybe violence(very rare, but not unheard of). And I have tests, within my first couple of conversations, I’ll ask about the ex ? I’ll see if she talks about him. Does she dog him out to a stranger ? If she does I take note immediately, and she might find herself a platonic friend. I have to ask myself what If our future split isn’t amicable ? I’ll be the next one to be on blast. I mean I know sometimes a woman can be your greatest commercial bragging to her friends. I have even gotten some action because a woman told her girl about the kid and how I do. But I have my own PR department and I prefer to handle my own promotional campaigns. I would like someone to form an opinion of me based on my actions towards them not necessarily the last woman I dated. And now with the advent of the internet, people can be put on full blast with pictures, stories, video and more. So, fellas be careful and choose wisely before you find yourself out there. Women, be ladies, if you have nothing nice to say. You know the rest

Brother's Man Law: Real men like to move in silence. Let my actions speak for themselves.

Call me Hacksaw

2006-08-11T09:03:00.000-04:00

Today's entry has been a point of contention between men and some women since the day some diamond-dealing miscreant convinced women that shiny rocks were symbols of undying love: Does she get to keep the ring if you call off the engagement?

My answer is a resounding "Hell No." Inasmuch as the ring signifies a promise that we'll share something together after we take vows, that promise is conditional on us actually taking those vows. Given that the rule-of-thumb for buying an engagement ring is that the man is supposed to spend three month's salary or something like that (I'd like to go back and find the sap of a romantic that agreed to that shit and bring him out for a public flogging, Manlaw style; have you ANY IDEA what three months of my salary is?), I could really use that cash back in my bank account for some decent purpose.

Beyond that, why the hell would you want to hold onto a symbol of something that will never happen? I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but...

Anywho, consider the following story of a man suing to get his $98,000 promise off some greedy broad's finger. I say screw the court: she don't wanna take it off, take a cutting tool to her and keep the whole finger.

Manlaw: I giveth; I can taketh away. The deal ain't done til the final "I do" is sung. One.

To sign or not to sign

2006-08-10T10:12:00.000-04:00

So as I was browsing through AOL this morning, I noticed something that I had forgotten. The one item made me a think about an issue that reminds me of Kayne's Golddigger.
So the item read, Indiana Pacers star guard Stephen Jackson calls off his marriage to his fiance on the day of his wedding. Why?
Because she did not want to sign the prenup agreement.
Then fast forward to Bettles great Paul McCartney files for divorce and did not have a prenup to protect his $1.5 billion fortune.
Manlaw 3:25 states that why should people be entitled to something that was earned before the other person existed.
I believe in love and all of that. But when this much money is at stake and how divorce rates are even higher in these tax brackets, you need to protect yourself.
Paul earned his billion a long time before he even met this chick. But now she can get up to 25 percent of his fortune. Get the fcuk out of here.
Stephen, you represented the foundation of manlaw. Stick to your guns.
You earned our respect and the slate has been cleaned from your brawl in Detroit.

Manlaw Goes Live

2006-08-10T10:09:00.000-04:00

With the early success from the Brothers Manlaw, the fellas have decided to hit the streets with their views on life as a brother.
The brothers will be on hand for a session at Skinny's Summer Jam on Saturday evening. So please stop by the crib to check us out.
It will be a lot of fun and there will be a surprise announcement.

Ya gotta pay, if ya gonna play…

2006-08-07T10:47:00.000-04:00

I wasn’t fond of him when he played in the NBA.

I dislike him even more once I got word of the latest news, courtesy of the New York Post. If the allegations are true, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson has some explaining to do.

According to the article, he has seven children with three different women and the reports are that he hasn’t paid up for at least five of his seven kids. Oh, did I mention he reportedly spends $41,000 a month on himself? I’ll leave out the fact that he’s made about $60 million in his 14-year NBA career and filed for bankruptcy last year for another argument on another day.

Now, I don’t know if these women have taken the necessary legal action against Mr. Anderson (if they haven’t I have no idea what they are waiting for) because leaking this type of information will only get them sympathy and not the paper that they need to take care of HIS kids.

I’m only going to say this once…Ya gotta pay, if ya gonna play (at least when kids are involved)…Manlaw 3:19

Mr. Anderson only has half the equation solved. He is reportedly playing basketball in Lithuania and is making somewhere between $750,000 and $1 million per year. I’ll give him a standing ovation for finding employment when the NBA basically said he was washed up. But, I can’t condone not filtering some of that cash to the kids he helped create.

The case of the wedding ring....

2006-08-06T10:25:00.000-04:00

So on a recent night I went to a little birthday gathering where I was playing some spades (might I add that the first hand I had was trump tight and we ran a quick 10, then got eight on the next hand. But things went down after that).
But during the course of my playing the game, a separate conversation got my attention.
It was on the topic of women wearing the scare away ring on the left, marriage finger.
Apparantly a sister was wearing a silver ring on the marriage finger.
A fellow brother was wondering if she was married. Hell I looked at her and thought she was married too. But upon closer look at the ring, I knew it was a scare tactic.
One of the first things fellas notice about a woman besides her fine ass body and Gabrielle Union looks is to look to see if she is taken.
So we take our eyes to the left hand side to see if there is a nice little rock on her finger. If not, she is fair game. (But some fellas if the rock is there, it still does not stop them).
But this night the conversation took a spirtual turn. Being that I am a son of a minister, I found one arguement rather interesting.
The comment agreed by a couple of females was that if a man is destined for a woman, a scare away ring would not keep the man from that woman because he would hear from God to step to her.
From the man's point of view, supposed the dude is a newly created believer in God, but sees that ring and is discouraged. A lot of babes in Christ does not know how to hear the voice of God real well. His first instinct is to see the ring and show no disrespect.
As one dude said aptly, the ring is a symbol that God put together to show a Godly union. So why would a guy think that God would want him to disrespct the symbol.

Manlaw: Women, ditch the fake ring because you could be potentially lose a good guy that is possibly destined for you. His respect of the symbol is the type of man you think you want. Yes, we know some ladies wear it because they will meet more asses than not. But is it worth it to get through a lot of asses to get to the one you should be with?
Personally I hate the fake ring because you can begin an encounter with a dude with a lie.

...and back to our regularly scheduled program

2006-08-04T16:37:00.000-04:00

I walk into the office of a female friend the other day and she's on the phone. When I appear, she tells whoever to hold on and informs me she's talking to her ex (why this info. was important, I don't know but I guess she felt I needed it). So I offered to leave so she can handle her b.i., to which she responds "Oh, are you jealous?"

No.

I'm not a jealous cat, and she's not my girl. But upon hearing me say that I wasn't jealous, she gets vexed and tells me to leave her office. Why? Because, gentlemen, women have egos. Big ones that rival if not surpass our own. Thus telling a woman after an obvious pine for a compliment or affection that you're indifferent is akin to invoking her wrath.

This, however, can work to your advantage: knowing the right balance of indulging and depriving a woman's ego is a powerful tool. Just don't overdo it; unlike women, we're pretty transparent when we try to be manipulative, and if they see through you, you'll suffer.

Manlaw: You're not the only one with an ego that needs stroking.

Bonus manlaw note: I walked into a bookstore recently and came across a book I thought I'd hate, because I'd heard said book was pretty bad. I read a few pages for myself and got intrigued, and wouldn't you know I'm all into it now. The lesson here is never judge a book by what other people tell you about its cover...

A Pause for the cause...

2006-08-04T16:05:00.000-04:00

Ok, so when I'm not on here pontificating about manhood and its relationship to womanhood, I'm a business reporter in my day job and freelancer by night. One of the reasons I got into that business was because I thought use of the media was one of the best ways to disseminate info. to and about black folks -- good, bad and otherwise.

As I was building my career, I met a guy by the name of Nate Chapman, who was the first black man to run an investment banking company and grow it into a publicly-traded firm. (He'd later be convicted of fraud and is now doing time in prison). Transgressions aside, though, during an all-day mentoring session in his office the year I got out of college, Nate told me something that I've remembered to this day and that I think will resonate loud and clear for years: "The civil rights struggle of the 21st century is economic. He was right on so many levels -- with all of the legal and social progress made by black people over the last four decades, we still lag in areas like homeownership, personal and family wealth, business ownership and the political clout that comes along with all those things.

So to that end, I've created another blog that I hope you'll check out, called Blackpeoplesmoney. I hope it becomes a forum for the black and upwardly mobile that our generation represents to talk about our climb on a personal and community level to achieve economic parity. Check it out often, post, send me ideas and tell your friends about it.

Manlaw: you're not a man if you can't feed and clothe your peoples.

Jedi Mind Tricks

2006-08-03T09:10:00.000-04:00

So in a past relationship I was accused of using a Star Wars tactic on her during our relationship.
I will call this chick Jersey Girl.
So what's her defitintion of Jedi Mind Tricks:
When men play with a woman’s mind and emotions. She says men are the masters of jedi mind tricks.
She said the signs that your man is playing a jedi mind trick are as follows:
He says she’s just a friend but every time that friend comes around you she is giving you dirty looks; He makes promises he never keeps but promises to anyone else he always follows through; He’ll say it’s all in your mind or you are misinterpreting a sitution when a conflict arises; He’ll say he is sorry and won’t do it again…only to turn around and do whatever he said he wasn’t going to do again; He’ll be the master of white lies and half truths. He’ll tell you he went out only he won’t tell you he went out with his ex-girlfriend.
For example, I would tell her, “My natural dispostion is always to be happy.”
Her Translation: it’s easy to lie to your face and smile at the same time.
My Translation: Unless given a specific question, I will only answer what was asked.
Now in some instances when I did not answer I direct question, rather I would re-direct her inquiry with another conversation or just move on all together. Another aspect of Jedi Mind Tricks.

Manlaw states there are no half-truths or half-lies. Manlaw states if you want a specific answer, then ask a specific question. Or better, yet, if you feel you are a victim of this sourcery, then leave the situation.
There are no tricks to that. Though, according to Jersey Chick. I was one hell of a Sith Lord. But I would just say I am Luke Skywalker using the force.

From Boyz to Men

2006-08-01T16:02:00.000-04:00

We are the men of Brothers Manlaw.

PGS = Keith Reed is below as a 23 day old baby to young Pittsburgh Pirate fan to grown ass pimp.

Skinny G = Gregory Lee

Look at Skinny as a baby, then getting that paper from kindergarten, then from high school and today as the man.

Well we only have a picture of SPChrist as a man. We think he was thrown off the bed at a real early age.

My name ain't Swammi

2006-08-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

Every man has found himself in this position: Something's wrong with your woman, mother, sister, et al. Knowing her as well as you do, you sense this. The feeling, the tension, walks in the room before she does, and once she gets there, the air is thick as soup.

Then, the deadly, piercing silence of a woman's unspoken emotions. Struggling, you make small talk, looking for context clues. She responds with monosyllabic answers that provide you no indication. Is she angry, tepid, seething, frustrated, sad? Is it work, you, something she saw on TV, her friend on the way for his monthly visit? Having no clue, and knowing only that doing nothing, anything at all, ensures you a bigger problem than the one you've got at that moment, you conjure up the stones to ask the one question that's obvious to every man at this juncture:

"What's wrong?"

And in that instant, you lose all control of the situation -- as if you had it to begin with.

The problem, brothas, is that you're just NOT a mind reader. As a general rule, men are more pragmatic in thinking and action, which conversely means we're pretty emotionally stupid. That's why it's called "women's intuition", and not "men's"; a woman's intuition will give her a pretty damn good idea not only when something's wrong, but what that wrong is and how to fix it, even when you may not completely be able to articulate it. I've experienced this numerous times, having expressed frustration, anger or rage to no end, only to have my significant at the time look calmly at me and say something like "you need to go to sleep; go lay down and I'll be in there in a second." Much as I fought, it was just that simple: lay my cranky ass down and problem solved.

But do NOT be fooled by this, guys. You are simply not equipped to soothe so simply as is the fairer sex. This does not mean that you can't solve whatever your woman's problem is at the time, in fact, many of these situations arise because she wants YOU to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to make her feel better. The problem is you don't know what.

So in the interest of happier homes everywhere, I suggest the following: Guys, tell your woman, up front, kindly, that you may indeed possess the wizardry to make her feel better somehow. But you're not a genie who's gonna fly out of his lamp unless said lamp is rubbed, which is to say that ladies, knowing how emotionally stupid we males are, you're going to need to step up and speak up if you want us to help you out with emotions we simply don't have the aptitude to understand.

MANLAW: You're an emotional nincompoop. Embrace it, communicate it, and if you've got a good woman, you'll be rewarded.

When a Man Is Being A Man

2006-07-31T16:31:00.000-04:00

So today I was reading the New York Times and ran across an interesting story about middle age men who refuse to go back to work after being released from high paying jobs.
So there was one section about this cat named Alan, who is 53 and made this statement, "I have come to realize that my free time is a lot to me."
So instead of working he continues to draw money from the equity in his house and from the family savings. Then he continues by saying "If things really get tight, I might have to take a low wage job, but I don't want to do that."
Meanwhile all his wife, who is receiving a disability check, stands back and supports her man's decision not to work.
This is apparently a growing trend for men around the nation because these men feel like they should still be getting the top dollars they were getting in their previous gigs.
Manlaw is a bit perplexed about this situation.
Manlaw suggests that if a man makes a decision and means what he says, then you have to live with it and apparently his wife has and chosen not leave the relationship.
But Manlaw does not believe in just sitting on your ass either.
However, Manlaw can say this, a man's home is his castle.
Therefore it is ok for them to chill at home with no job, but it does not mean it is right if you are supporting a family.

Even when you do all things correctly

2006-07-31T10:47:00.000-04:00

You're the kind of woman
That needs a man that's always there
It's not that you require a lot
Just need some tender love and care
I give good love
I'll buy your clothes
I'll cook your dinner too
Soon as I get home from work
I'll pay your rent
Your faithful lover
Soon as I get home, soon as I get home from work
Girl, I'll treat you right
And I'll never lie

Remember when Babyface penned the song "Soon as I Get Home From Work".
It was the song ladies cheered and the brothers were like damn another dude filling these women's heads up with some unrealistic bullshit.
Well Manlaw will give a little glimpse on how some mature brothers actually attempted to be like the 'Face.
Let's take Brother X, a 28-year old, stock market analyst from Jackson, Mississippi.
Today he works in NYC where he is doing his thing as a rising star in the industry.
He is known within the industry circles. He is known to be a friendly, but sociable person who loves to have a good time.
In his private time, he retreats to things that people don't have any clue that is going on. He likes to have that air of mystery about him.
His dating life has been up and down. Probably because of his hectic career and partly due to loyalty to his friends. This dude realized the error of his ways in previous relationships. However, he looks inward and made a determination to do everything by the book when it came to his next woman.
He wanted to do the Babyface thing.
Low and behold there was this one young lady that he knew and had a good friendship where at times they flirted with each other on occasion. One obstacle though - it was the dreaded LDL - long distance relationship.
So one day the dude just asks if she would interesting in dating and she said of course and he set about doing the things necessary to build a relationship.
He was doing all the things a dude should do in being with this woman: taking her out to dinners; getting her surprise gifts; sending flowers just because; writing cute snail letters to her (that's some old school stuff there). He would plan the trips to see each other on weekends.
He was also supportive of all of her efforts in her life and actually paid attention to detail when it came to things in her life. He thought he was doing all the right things to keep the train rolling.
But then things started to get a little hairy. She started to become to take things for granted. She started to withdraw a bit. But keeps the line still close to the dude.
Brother X notices this trend, but maintains the course for one final stand with the young lady. The young lady would be cool sometimes and sometimes withdrawn. But like near the end of every trip she acts like you are the love her life.
Then Brother X feels great and goes about his business feeling happy and thinking things maybe fine.
But then later the next week Brother X goes to his inbox and finds a note from his girl that basically said she wanted to stop dating so she can focus on her re-establishing her career and wanted make decisions independent of a relationship but she also said he was her best friend.
So Brother X replied well he was always supportive of her life but questioned how you can still be best friends with someone you basically dumped on email. Best friends don't do that.
So Brother X says he will move on after on final discussion to get his closure and move the hell on.
So Brother asked what the real deal was.
She replied in several different ways and Brother X can see through all the crap.
She first explained the lives of the two parties were different. That he was too flashy for her. Next she said that his spiritual walk was not the same as hers.
(no Brother X is not a regular church goer, but has relationship with God).
Then she says she knew that she felt like this in the beginning but thought it would go away.
So then Brother X basically replied and said that he felt insulted by those remarks because it made it seem he like was a bad guy and that's far from the truth. So in his mind he was like he does not want to hear about how women want good men.
Then she replied by saying don't make yourself out to be the victim. She then mentions the Brother's X from years back and said you had a choice and you got rid of a good woman.
The Brother was heated and said she had nothing to do with the conversation and that was uncalled for.
She then retreated. She got off the phone.
But later in the day she calls Brother back. She then says the reason she pulled back is because she continues to be indecisive about what she is going to do with her life. The other stuff she said was uncalled for.
So she now thinks every thing is fine.
But the reality for the Brother is all is not well, but the Brother intends to move on because he knew he deserved a better fate.

The Manlaw rule from this situation.
Learn to be a little more like Bobby B and be a little less of Ralph T.
That way you can protect yourself from being duped like Brother X. Let the lady really earn her rent check from Babyface.

Up In Da Club...

2006-07-31T03:50:00.000-04:00

Ladies you must understand that when we say we are “going out with the boys” we don’t expect you to turn into the local district attorney. Just give us a passionate kiss as a reminder of what we are coming home to and leave it at that….Manlaw 3:16

Ladies you must also understand that when we are out with the boys situations can occur….Manlaw 3:17

For example, NBA players Jason Caffrey, Gary Payton and Sam Cassell (then-playing for the Milwaukee Bucks) got into an altercation in 2003 outside a Toronto strip club.

Recently, the situation went to court and Sam Cassell took the stand (hmm…there’s that second rule of engagement again).

The details are very sketchy (depending on who you believe) but one thing is absolutely clear. Payton’s wife, Monique, is the chillest black woman and spouse in the United States.

Why?

Ladies please memorize her comments about her husband's predicament in a 2003 Seattle Post-Intelligencer column by Susan Paynter.

“I don't care about that stuff," Monique said. "Guys are guys. They'll go to those places. And sometimes athletes can be targets for trouble. Other (NBA) wives ask their husbands, 'How could you go to that place? How could you do that?' But I say, 'Hey, I'll go with you if you want.' If not, at least I know where he is. All I tell him is to come home safe."

Ladies…I hope you were taking notes because brothers don’t like to repeat themselves…Manlaw 3:18

-spc

She ain't trippin on you...

2006-07-29T15:34:00.000-04:00

...she'd rather fuck your car.

So goes the hook on a rhyme from one of my old school favorites, Too Short. Dude ain't lyrically brilliant, but he kept it real. And as I found out the other day, he may never have kept it realer (yea, I got a degree in English and I said "realer") than on the aforementioned song.

Short puts it down in this one right here, explaining in his Oakland, Ca., vernacular his understanding of the fact that with some women, no matter how genuinely attracted to you they might appear to be, said attraction ain't always what it seems. Yeah, she's feelin you, givin vibes, flirting, lettin you know you can get the math if not more, if only you'll speak up (manlaw note: closed mouths don't get fed). But with our egos, we men rarely stop to consider that it may not be us, in whole or in part, that she's attracted to. She might have caught you on a good day, rockin that suit that hangs off your shoulders just right, fresh from the chop shop with a new shapeup, or caught your glance from the window of that rented 300C you borrowed from your cousin and just came from getting detailed.

You got that look, that flirt, that number. Kudos. But she ain't trippin on you, she'd rather fuck your car.

Fast forward: I'm chillin with a homegirl of mine, talking about the Manlaw blog, which prompts her to break tradition and let me in on a lil rule of womanlaw, at least as she sees it. She dishes that an unwritten rule of hers is that she never, ever talks to a dude whose eye she catches if the dude is getting into our out of, say, the new AMG-kitted S-Class. Sounds counterintuitive -- women like dudes with nice whips -- until you consider her next sentiment, which was that from that moment on, she never knows whether or not it was the guy or the fact that the guy had the car that turned her on in that instant. That she wouldn't want to find herself sitting across from the dinner table with a dude wondering whether if she'd be there had the cat hopped off the Orange line instead of into sum'n that cost more than a downpayment on a nice crib.

She wouldn't want to wind up in the act with this dude and have to wonder: am i screwing him or his car? Get it?

Long story short, fellas: I ain't sayin' look a gift horse in the mouth. If you ridin' nice and that increases your shooting percentage from the floor, I'm all in favor. But with all things in life, ego can blind you to the angles you need to be able to see in order to know how to play your position right. Perhipheral vision is a proverbial muhfucca.

Manlaw: "No need to be a player or a superstar... She ain't trippin on you she'd rather fuck your car."

-PGS

"Divas" and the Rules of Engagement...

2006-07-27T16:30:00.000-04:00

Opening remarks…
Ladies, you should not expect a man you JUST met to take you to a 5-star restaurant and wine and dine you... The purpose of dating is to get to KNOW the individual man and NOT his money or personal possessions or what can a man do for you... Money can often times be a front and many women have gotten confused because they see a shiny car and what appears to be a 'fat wallet'... Don't be fooled, surely you are worth more than a free meal... If you are that hungry, take yourself out!

The case…
If you are a true diva, you were not offended by what I just said because a true diva doesn’t sweat the materialistic things in life. How do you become a diva? Ladies, you must earn that status and a man will let you know when you’ve reached that status.

For the sake of argument, let’s divide the men into the marriage-minded (there aren’t too many of them around) and those that want to play house.

I’m a marriage-minded man and to reach Diva status with me you must win my heart. You’ll know that you’ve reach Diva status with me when you hear the phrase “will you marry me” followed by the sight of a diamond ring. Until then, you are in training and you must earn your stripes.

Now for the man that wants to play house, I was once one of them, ladies you must follow the rules of engagement and fully understand that men do not tie their decisions in with emotions. Also, if you are playing this version of the game…you must understand that a man will determine when you will be promoted to the marriage-minded version. Unfortunately, women often tie their emotions in with decisions and that’s how ya’ll get hurt and cry foul. We’ll provide you with the tissues and then remind you of the basic rules of engagement. Your girlfriends can take it from there.

Now, the first rule of engagement is you can’t demand from us what you can’t do for yourself. It is 2006, so before your bus-pass-carrying, no-job-having, still-being-supported-by parents self, starts mouthing off make sure you can handle the situation by your self. Once men reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit, we often don’t come back.

The second rule of engagement is you can’t truly make a man do something he doesn’t want to do. The police, the IRS and the U.S. Court System are the only entities that can make a man do something he doesn’t want to do. So, ladies do your homework before you get involved with a man in a playing-house-situation and don’t play yourself in the process.

In conclusion…
There are more rules…to the list but I can’t remember them all off the top of my head. If I do find the e-mail I once sent to a female that cried foul, I’ll update this entry. Henceforth, I’m sure conversations from this entry will jog my memory.

-spc

When being spoiled goes wrong

2006-07-27T15:18:00.000-04:00

Over the years I have had an informal discussion and experience with spoiled women.
A friend of mine asked me recently if she was spoiled.
Well, there are different degrees of being spoiled.
The not-so-bad version I would define as accustomed.
Women become accustomed to certain things and don't want to go back to bullshit. But these women are for the most part self-sufficient.
But then there is the bad case when they are enabled and feel the sense of entitlement to any and everything.
This is today's will focus - the enabled and the entitled.
There is this one chick that I have known for years that simply believes she is the girl, she controls everything.
But when this Burger King (cuz chick think she can have it her way) chick thinks she can say or do whatever she pleases with men because she thinks men should cow tail to her assiento because she has cat power.
MANLAW states that this sort of behavior only works with boys.
In fact, it does as said brat is with someone much younger than her and has no job.
But at least she has control of this dude.
Poor dude needs to be baptized under the power of MANLAW and rid himself of this disease.
So the brothers must seek out this dude and free him like the many others we will free in this forum.
MANLAW.

If I said it I meant it

2006-07-26T19:20:00.000-04:00

So there's a really important thing you should understand about me: I'm a father of two sons. If you're a parent of any reasonable account, you know how significant that is. My boys are my pride and joy, the people I love above any and everything in life. They're also the reason why I'll never, EVER have any more kids.

I mean, as great as kids are -- and they are great -- being a parent is tough. Being a parent estranged from their mother and by proxy them, living in another state and having to put up with a buncha bullshit makes it that much tougher. So I decided a long time ago that it was two and I'm through. I'm lucky enough to have sons that are the spitting image of dad, have a great relationship with them and be young enough that they'll be grown while I still have some of the prime of my own life left. Why ruin a good thing?

This however, does NOT sit well with a female coworker of mine and her roommate, who I was driving home tonite. My decision to not want anymore children, in their minds was an affront to whomever I wind up hitched to (this is assuming I'm getting hitched; more on that later). By deciding at a young age and before I'm married (there's that assumption again) that I want no more children, I'm somehow snatching something away from whoever this woman is, assuming she has no children of her own, they argued.

This argument went on the whole ride, but at the end of the day, they surmised that what really must be going on is that I just haven't found the right woman, that when she comes along, I won't be so rigid.

Um, no. Ladies, please do NOT follow this line of thinking in your dealings with men. If a guy tells you he doesn't intend to do something -- get married, be monogamous, have babies, take out the trash every week -- assume he means it. Decide whether or not you can deal, and if you can't, move on.

And fellas: stick to your guns. If you know you don't want brats, don't make 'em. If you're not a Johnny Gill-type, don't be shammed into believing that all you are is some sensitive guy waiting to be touched by an angel so you can become more of a gentleman. Do you. Be you.

Manlaw: If I say it, I mean it. And don't expect me to change. You'll lose that bet every time.

-PGS

The Point System

2006-07-25T22:27:00.000-04:00

MANLAW: The formation of the Ladies Point System

During the course of a man courting a woman, the man attempts to score "points" to earn certain privileges.
You get points for sending flowers.
You get points for sending just thinking about you cards.
You get many points for getting that right gift for her b-day.
You accumulate points by being a perfect gentlemen: opening doors for her, seating her first at the dinner table, taking her to the movies.

The like frequent flier miles you can cash in for certain benefits they can be other things besides sex since some of the readers here may assume that's the lone prize. Some other prizes, loyalty, a well-cooked meal, being decisive, rubbing my feet.

So today MANLAW will take effect. There will be new rules on this.
It's time for women to accumulate points.
MANLAW will dictate the point system if a woman wants a strong, black man, since you know statistically speaking they are a rare find. So the stakes should be higher for these dudes.

Here is the rationale behind this system.
Typically a guy gives the woman the benefit of the doubt. The woman starts with a grade of 100 and loses points if she does. A dude has to build up credit with the woman.

So Manlaw will reverse that and pronounce that women too must start at the bottom.
I will allow my fellow brothers to set up the point system.

All things in moderation

2006-07-25T18:48:00.000-04:00

I can't think of a better way to spend an off day. Sex. PlayStation. More sex. More PlayStation. Head while....

Y'all get the point. But all things have limits. Consider this: word has it that just such a night was the undoing of Brazil's top soccer player on the eve of the biggest stage of 'em all.

Like I said, there are few better days than one when I can get the equipment polished over a good few hours of Madden (can't wait for '07 next month). But sometimes there can be too much of a good thing.

All things in moderation people. Manlaw.

-PGS